The confession [1]

Why are you crying, tell me why you're crying, okay man you have got to tell me why you're crying or I'll freak and call the teachers okay, you have have to tell me why you're crying you don't have to stop crying you know I don't have too much courage or whatever what's wrong man tell me why you're crying or I'm going to get really really nervous and call someone else and I don't know if that's what you want but that's what is going to happen okay, seriously man just tell me what's up, Shanker said to Badri who had come into his room sobbing.

Badri began, between his sobs. I...I..don't know..I don't know what to..think of..or do..in my..life anymore..So...I found out...you know...my dad...my parents...yeah yeah they're fine they're fine or whatever, they're fine, or whatever you know, how I've ...I told you right, I told you, I don't know what to do man I don't know what to think...I don't...I told you, I told you right, my family..my family is...so my family is friends with Raj's family, and they've ...they've known each other for many many years yeah, and and...I told..I told you we were contractors...I told you...both our families were into land and contract business yeah...and I don't know..I don't know what to do man I don't know what to think I don't know...What will I do now, I don't know... He burst crying again, gasped for air unable to breathe.

Shanker took a long breath. He knew exactly what this was about. This was the second conversation of this kind he had this week, the first one was a bit of a shock but he had grown used to it now, and he knew exactly the direction it would take. He wasn't sure what good it'd do if he said anything so he just kept quiet.

Yeah yeah it's fine man, whatever it is, it's going to be fine, don't worry you shouldn't need to freak out it'll be fine, don't worry dude, we're your friends and we're with you, we're your well-wishers and we love you and care for you, don't worry man, whatever it is we accept you and you are our friend and our brother you are a part of our lives, don't worry yaar, just tell me what happened, tell me what's wrong and everything will be fine, I promise, he said in one single breath because he didn't know what else to say.

The sobs had subsided a bit, but Badri was still trembling and gasping for deep breaths of air. His face was red, hair disheveled, ears burning and nose watery. His eyes looked like they had been doused in a can of tomato soup.

So so so anyway they told me...They didn't even want to tell me, I found out...I found out...by myself...dude I don't know if I can..if I can..I don't want to..You're a...I don't know how to... What will I do now man, what to do, who am I I won't know what to think I don't know what to do, I don't know who to trust, I...Idon't know...I don't know...Shit man I don't know I think I'm in deep deep fucking trouble man, this sucks what to do, I don't know what to do man, Badri said.

[discontinuing it here for part 2 because I need more posts. This was written 4 days after the fact.]