Structure and discipline in life

Want to avoid too many navel-gazing posts in here, but this one's important, kinda. I like to complain about structured time and work and the concept of going to work etc, but actually I love it. Love it as in love that there's a structure and reason for every day and generally I know what I'm doing for the day. Yeah the routine gets broken once a while but having a formal routine with expectations and opportunities outside your regular circle is so much better than otherwise.

I write this on a Friday morning. I didn't write a single post on Thursday neither did I follow any of the points of the checklist. The reason was that I was working from home yesterday (which I'm also doing today) because it was insanely cold to go outside and worked from my room most of the day. It was less stressful, a little bit, and I got to sleep a bit more than other days. In the end though, it was not worth it because I kept asking myself, what's the point of all of this there's so much free time what am I going to do with this is this worth it what's next. And so on and on and on. Worrying about the future once you have structure and discipline is good because you know you'll let your existing structure shape the future and since you're disciplined you'll apply the same principles to the coming days, so good or bad you'll make a gallant respectable effort at coming out ahead. If you don't have an organized life, it's unclear how different the future is going to look from the present because everything is an amorphous blob that you can't differentiate across time. You can tell an old mature experienced tree from a new immature one, there's a temporal difference between the two. You cannot tell amoebae, assuming all they are to be amorphous blobs, from each other just based on what they are like. Sure, maybe they've made some cosmetic or minor changes to their bodies to respond to the outside environment, but in their shape and their interaction and their presentation they are not fundamentally different.

Thus, the lack of shape and reason for yesterday was bothersome. Kept telling roommates (and later home) about how confused and anxious I was without understanding what was up. Now that I have the benefit of retrospection, I know what it was exactly, and also this makes me thankful for what I have right now -- the daily list, the writings here, the workouts and all of everything because they're like a way to measure progress, to measure what I'm putting into life and look at all the commitments and plans in a holistic way. I like to write, and make a habit out of it so the best way to do it is obviously do a lot of it all day every day. Sounds obvious but doesn't always seem so.