Mobile artwork, getting cakes from Shiela's at Centreville, snapchat filters with the baby, I make eggplant dish, dinner with extended family [Sat 30]

Made 'art' in my cellphone during the day. Sounds stupid but I spent hours doing it.

ED, niece and I went to Shila bakery in Centreville to get cakes, her favourite ones. A random kind strange bought my niece cookies, they were not very good.

I spent hours and hours entertaining niece with snapchat filters, they're really easy to make children laugh with. As the parents shopped at various stores.

In the evening I volunteered to make tarkari and made my classic eggplant and tomato dish. Too much tomato paste was the problem though it was commonly appreciate, generally speaking I didn't like it. Everybody had it and had a good time.

And now I can say, fucking finally two weeks after the fact, that I'm done with the month of April, 17 days into May. It's now time to start writing for May, man I really shouldn't keep these for later, but since my life is like one long vacation, and it's really rough to be productive during vacation, these things don't seem to workout.

Roti-bhat-tarkari lunch, BABY BIRTHDAY, celebration at home [Fri 29]

 Had roti AND bhat and tarkari for lunch, because the family had gone to an Indian restaurant nearby after going to various temples for niece's birthday. I didn't go because of work meetings. The aloo tarkari I got was extremely mediocre and totally not worth the fifteen bucks.

In the evening we celebrated baby's birthday at home, her second one, she was really excited by the attention and sang songs to herself real loud. Very eager to open up her gifts as well though the wrappers fascinated her the most. ED wrapped my gift. I tried reading a book to her but she didn't seem to eager, though the pictures fascinated her. She threw away a book and I took that as a hint to end reading time.

Bhat-dal-tarkari lunch, bookstore trip for the baby, subway dinner, extended family arrives [Thu 28]

For lunch we had bhat-dal-tarkari yet again, I should have remembered to mention the vegetables otherwise this gets boring after a while. As a Nepali person I shouldn't even be writing this but here we are, where I think eating rice and dal is something worth noting.

After lunch we went to the nearby Barnes and Nobles where I bought a bunch of books as birthday gift for my niece. Including the Ada-whatever book and a few books by Dr. Seuss. Classics. She doesn't seem to understand that books need to be treated well as a two-yearold, I'm sure she'll figure it out.

Ordered four footlongs for dinner and picked it up. I may have been the only person in the family to finish it, it was yumyum , which is why I wrote that piece about what a great deal the chain is.

Later in the evening DD and SD came in from Virginia Beach, we talked until wee hours of the morning.

Bhat-dal-tarkari lunch, heavily buttered roti-tarkari dinner, babysitting [Wed 27]

 Had bhat-dal-tarkari for lunch, played with baby the entire day, taught her the concept of 'throw', so she could play 'hand the ball' at distance. She got real good at it real fast. Though it's probably gonna take some time for her to figure out 'throw at the person who needs to catch it and not at some random direction'.

For dinner we had TJ's paratha and tarkari, the paratha we heavily buttered by ourselves in addition to the pre-existing buttering.

Noodles lunch, snack dinner, play with baby, Bojack watch [Tue 26]

For lunch I had waiwai noodles try, it was good.

Folks from Manassass (extended family) came over. For dinner we ate chiura-bhujia-tarkari-achar. Also went underground to the room and watched a bunch of travel videos by this guy called mark weems or mike weems.

I watched several episodes of bojack during the day.

Baby play, five below aldi dollar tree trips, bhat-dal-tarkari dinner [Mon 25]

 Played with my niece in the morning and afternoon, bailed out of work bit earlier than usual to go shopping with ED. We went to five below first where we spent like three hours buying return gifts and decorations for the birthday party. ED was really excited to have me over as her shopping assistant because I made great suggestions. She bought me a japanese ukiyo-e painting poster but I ended up leaving that at their place (I say, after two weeks).

After Five Below we went to Aldi where I got chocolates and ED got some nice cute things that could work as gifts for babies. I discovered I missed the store a lot but didn't feel like buying anything.

We went to Dollar tree for gift card, some janky decorations and table cover, and then to yet another place possibly I don't remember very well the day was busy with shopping.

Got home, had dal bhat tarkari dinner in the evening.

Early morning airport trip, easiest trip to VA, pickup confusion, family meet, baby!, temples, bhat-dal-tarkari dinner [Sun 24]

Got up super duper early in the morning even before the alarm went off, thank god I was very worried I'd miss the trip. Nice quick walk to the station, a very long wait, easy security and checkin, barely waited at the boarding gate because I timed everything right. Got in the plane and slept real well. Used internet, listened to podcasts, by the end of it I was feeling refreshed!

After landing there was maybe 10-minute confusion on where I was with the folks picking me up because I didn't realize there were three levels but we sorted it out and headed home. ON the way stopped at McD's and got their ice-cream, I didn't want it but AD's liked it and so did the baby!

Omg the baby! I met my baby niece for the first time and she's adorable!

Rested for a bit at home, and then headed out to the temples, went to a 'regular' hindu temple for like 20 different gods, and then to a saibaba temple. Fun stuff, specially with baby on board.

Back home ate dal bhat darkari, won't even bother naming the tarkaris because there were so many and it'll get boring after a while because there's going to be a lot of that in the coming days.

Family welcome, station, Sichuan meal, rest day [Sat 23]

This was my last day in Seattle before I headed out for the East Coast.

Had tempeh for breakfast, Sb was over we chilled for a while before heading to the CapHill train station to pickup AD and SB. Walked home, sat around drinking a lot and I mean a LOT of tea, rested for a while, and then walked to Sichuan Cuisine for lunch.

We ordered three entrees and an appetizer among the four of us and still only made our way halfway through, what a great value for money that place is. So filling, so yummy, such a good value for money, and I love the ambiance, reminds me of Nepal. We spent hours there chilling and talking.

Walked home, hung around, planned on going on a walk but nobody else was in the mood so nothing happened. Watched tv and talked a lot, and I prepared for my trip for the following day.

State fair fun, too much food, roller coaster rides, REAL birthday celebration [Fri 22]

So basically the 'birthday celebration' section from the previous day's post should be here because the night before we just got high and had some snacks and dinner from the Nepali restaurant and didn't do much, this was the day we actually celebrated with the entirety of the squad, with the great cake and the pizzas and boys being considerate and all of that.

I bailed out of work early and we went to the state fair in Pullayup, to celebrate AKS(y)'s birthday. We had too much food, I had a whole tonne of cheesy fries rings, and then we played games where everybody lost, they're designed so you never win I tried convincing the gang that but they wouldn't listen. We also did the most boring rollercoaster there which I imagined would be a disappointment but it was actually quite fun. Ar(e) was scared witless it was funny to watch.

Notes from the state fair:

* A weekday early evening is not the best time to go, lots of empty stalls
* So many high school kids, so many high school people
* Don't get the biggest most expensive item from a stall thinking that's the only stuff available because there was decently priced normal-people food available
* Got to see Llama and Alpaca and many other animals etc.
* It's more entertaining for younger people but the fair rides were quite fun, specially if it had been a weekend day.
* It turned out to be a very expensive trip, didn't mind that particularly but something to keep in mind if you're looking into such trips.

The gang went to an Asian restaurant after returning I went home and had snacks, then to the boys' place for cake and pizza.

Fried rice egg and cheese lunch, picnic at the park, interlaken walk and discovery, rain, hang at the boys', birthday celebration, yummy pizza [Thu 21]

 For lunch I had fried rice, egg and cheese in the style of japanese omurice.

After work headed with Ar(y) to interlaken park after stopping by at TJ's for oranges and chocolate, ate on the way, interlaken park is frikkin' nice so much to explore, such nice foliage the road up hill is super chill too. Because Ar(y) was rushing we took uphill walk and it felt like I was in Nepal. Met some homeless people but otherwise a brilliant walk, should be doing more of that.

We ran late while returning from the park, and it started raining, we got wet, very very wet, drenched to the insides, it was awful. Ar(y) went to Ak's place, I went home and changed, chilled for a few hours and then headed to the boys' place.

To celebrate Aks(y)'s birthday! We cut the cake, the regular gang plus sk who's also a part of the regular gang now was there. We got pizza from the nearby places and the boys were considerate enough to get me two vegetarian slices. The cake was really good too.

Decided to leave the place because I was too tired, needed to sleep and totally forgot I wouldn't be seeing much of Aks(m) again because he'd be going back to Minneapolis the next morning. Also too much pda was observed I don't care for them. Shouldn't be writing that here but it's starting to be bothersome at this point.

An utter madman, crazy, crazy loco hombre

You must be deep
In love, they tell me,
For your words
Betray you, dear poet.

Confused dazed sleepy
I look around
Searching for that
Mofo of a poet
And find the gaze
Set upon me.

Concerned confused confounded
One hell of a disappointment
I look squarely
At the floor
And the trees
Ah the skies
And mutter
Under my breath
Ah but
A lover may act like a lunatic
But a lunatic does not a lover make
And there is no joy
In this land oh boy
In falling in love
Where they hold dear more
Your god-fuckin'dammit credit score
Than what resides
Deep within you, inside your goddamn core.

The elvish fairie from the land of the spirits

There was this girl
Elf eared
Who ruled the land
Beyond the clouds.

Her eyes
Impishly mischievous
Saw beyond what was
Her ears
Open to the skies
Heard things
Left unsaid.

And when she
Set foot
On our lands
Mind, she was no enchantress,
The wind still
Forgot to blow
And the sun
Shone in shame,
Let the clouds through
The beings rejoiced
And she,
Unknowing, uncaring, unaffected
Flew back
To the land of the spirits

Do you get it now, or...?

And alas,
I must repeat
Once again
And so I shall
Only to ask
Yet again
And again
Do you
Get it now
The gist of my words
My meaning in full
With the words I said
No games, no poetry
Or must I
Write epics
To your dedication
So you get
The gist of my
Emojis?

Did you disappear?

Oh you
Sweet memory,
Were you ever real
Or did you just
Disappear?

I have memory
Of being lost
In your deep dark eyes
What color they are
I never knew
So dark
So hypnotic.

Are you here
Or like a dream
Did you disappear?
Be back
Sweet memories
have to be made.

Ten things that I had today

Technically I write these words 2 weeks after, but  who's gonna stop me?

  1. Trader Joe's pound plus nuts chocolate

  2. Trader joe's caramel and sea salt chocolate

  3. chhyang

  4. pacifica beer

  5. blood orange

  6. eggplant parmesan

  7. sourdough

  8. kefir

  9. sodium fluoride

  10. eggs

Hope is the big one, the one that will defeat all: On Hope and Cynicism

This is an important one, the good post, the one piece of diamond in the big pile of doo-doo, pay attention to this.

Hope will conquer all.

The biggest enemy to democracy, to freedom, to all things good in humanity are hopelessness and cynicism. The Russian people have given up on self-governance and divestment of power, because they're hopeless with their agency, their worldview with regards to power is quite cynical. It is their belief that nothing ever matters, big powers will occupy them anyway, they are worthless and the powers that be in moscow rule them. Therefore, nothing matters, and everybody is just as bad, the world is a mean mean dark place where nothing good can ever happen. Alcoholism is the only good solution.

A lot of right-wing folks across the world have a similar view of politics and power. That there are a few powerful people who control everything and nothing changes, and everything is evil and bad and mean and good things don't happen and everything is shit. And you have to absolutely destroy your enemies and those annoying woke folks to get anything done.

Hope breaks all of that.

Hope brings up the possibility of compromise, it is the beam of sunshine in the otherwise dark cynical worldview. It tells you things will get better, and they may get worse before things go back up, but it'll turn out fine, you just have to believe, and keep doing the right thing. Because together we can.

Hope is strong, the antidote to the evil cynicism in governance. Hope, against your best instincts, because it's the only way to greatness.

Nepal and Europe plans looking maybe cancelled

As always, this is a lame-news/bad-news situation.

The lame news is that I get to churn out nonstop posts, half of which are my new exciting travel plans and how much I'm excited for them. And where I'll go and the things I'll do. The other half is obviously the cancellation of those plans, mostly because I never cared for them enough or because life got on the way.

The bad news is I won't be doing most of my planned summer travel because of...reasons.

Travel to Nepal is under the hammer because prices. Who the effing eff is traveling so much, that two way tickets to the country are 1600 bucks four months out, I'll never understand. And that's from the east coast, mind, so West coast is going to be worse. Yes I can afford it, no I won't overpay by sixhundos because I was there three months ago and mango-litchi trip is not worth the cost.

Europe plans are looking shaky at this point too because I'll be back in Seattle mid-may, go to Colorado mid-June and definitely gotta be spending at least some time in the apartment. July August prices are insane, who is paying for those anyway, and the war situation looks not great. I do have places to stay at various countries now including the UK so options if I go there have expanded.

The only response to all these awful news stories, because nothing changes

 Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers.

Items on my Amazon cart

  1.  Bidet

  2. SGP30 air quality sensor including VOC sensor

  3. Tempeh starter culture

  4. Pectic enzyme

  5. Microfiber towel

  6. Camping tent

  7. Bluetooth speaker

  8. magnetic stirrer

  9. twin sized bedsheet, solid color

Who's that girl

 Sir, the 'girl' you mention is actually the Prime Minister of an EU country with one of the most battled-prepared armies in the world, she served as a tactician and a soldier, and will be the acting chief of world's most powerful and well-equipped military alliance in about two years. Also she is a black belt in karate and trained as a classical ballerina chef, and she set several national level swimming records in her country, most of them still unbroken. Also she's a chess grandmaster, and a nuclear physicist my education. She singlehandedly created and completed nuclear energy program for her country. Wait what was the question again?

Sorry for you loss

  1. Sorry you lost all your money in an investment that promised you 2000% APY (so scientific!) over six months for 'high-yield high-tech investments'.

  2. Sorry you lost access to all your money because you lost the password to your bank and there's nothing anybody can do about it.

  3. Sorry you lost access to all your money because the thieves stole the password of your bank (the actual bank, not YOUR password to the bank) and drained all the invested money

  4. Sorry you lost all your money because an 'exploit' that was actually perfectly legal and valid action 'drained' all the money from wherever it was stored.

  5. Sorry you lost all your money because your moneylender pseudobank went bankrupt.

  6. Sorry you lost all your money because your moneylender pseudobank refused to process due to 'unusually high exchange volumes'.

  7. Sorry for your loss because your money that you tried cashing out became worthless because the intermediary exchange thing lost all its value.

  8. Sorry you lost all your money because the pseudobank decided to do regulatory checks just as you'd made a lot of money and oops the info you input ten years ago wasn't exactly up-to-date and now they've expropriated your assets.

  9. Sorry somebody stole your money pretending to be a cop.

  10. Sorry your money lost value because nobody wants it anymore.

Fourteen things

  1. Cheesy pita. Go wild.

  2. Headaches. Eat shit.

  3. Lanky Viet girl forced to study film studies

  4. That 'of all villages' scene from Casablanca, a movie I've never seen

  5. "Oh my god, who are you even"

  6. One Laptop Per Child

  7. One Cup Per Two Women

  8. Dairy milk

  9. "Ketones"

  10. Origami? Origami!

  11. "You done using that?"

  12. Bill cosby, jeebus

  13. Weekday clubbing

  14. Heartfelt condolences

This is of course a work of total fiction

 Some people will just date people out of no good reason than the fact that it's real super duper convenient to do so. Because the other side takes cares of them, constantly professes their love for them, and does everything to make their life simpler and more convenient. They don't bother on working on the emotional aspect because who really cares, as long as you give your presence, your body and commitment to them things are fine whatever, and it's so very obvious to the people around them how the dynamics is incredibly, so very incredibly lopsided. But like because one party cares about the whole situation a lot, and everybody hopes 'love will win all', things go on until the bored party decides to call it off because actually there are some people they're kinda' into who won't reciprocate but might and depending on how that goes there are things that can be worked, or because you know they felt guilty leading somebody incredibly nice and kind on and almost got married to them. Or the other party gets annoyed at the lack of return of affection and just...finds somebody who loves them, something that doesn't happen as much as it should.

The irony arises when then object of desire and love becomes the source of all that in a dynamic where the roles are reversed and they fail to notice the similarities and are very confused when their affections are not returned because they've gotten so used to easy love.

Some people have it rough in matters of the heart, one wonders if they're the lucky ones. Or does love really actually conquer all?

Hard at work

What does 'hard at work' evoke the image of? Muscled men working factory jobs, hammering down steel plates? Perhaps number crunchers with outside glasses looking at their computer screens with concern? Or maybe kitchen workers hurriedly prepping for a grand dinner. How bout childcare, you think about that you misogynist pig? Or farm labor? How about mountain porter? Or a trekking guide? Oh you think being a pilot is easy? How about a firefighter? Oh do mathematicians study math because it's the easiest thing in the world? Or are the doctors lazy buffoons in it just for the money? Economists? Professors? Tch tch tch, look at yourself maaan what has BECOME of you!

Friends forever

What I was going to write about with this topic I don't remember, ahh the good old folly of writing town the title of your posts several days in advance of writing the post with no notes or reminders about what one should write about. One wonders if this was about how I still hang out with the same group of friends I've always hung out with for the last 20 years, or the fact that i've got so many casual friends here and there, fortunate enough to crash for multiple days whenever the heart fancies, or perhaps this was about how my relationships with certain people have persisted despite several real tests of time, and mostly even thrived and once a friend always a friend unless either of the parties shows no interest in the matters of the other, which has happened in the past but yeah that's not really friendship then is it, just opportunistic social partnership that can break at any point. Guess one could say the same thing about relationships as well but with them there's more focus on actually being together and doing things part and not on...uh I know not, I guess the 'convenience' aspect. Though of course as friction to relationship formation has reduced, relationships have become more about convenience than longevity or stability. Which works for the short term and cross your fingers that it work in the long term as well, it's hard to tell.

Or maybe it's about the fact that it's looking like I'll always live like one long vacation forever, crashing with friends and chilling all the time regardless of the state in life I'm in or other people are, if they have babies so what, everybody needs an extra pair of hands to help around the house, specially with the new baby no? We'll...we'll wait five or six more years and see where we're at with the whole friends having babies situation, sounds hella scary tbqh. 

Sound sleep

 Sound sleep is hard to come by in the best of days, and will somehow sneak up onto you when you're least expecting it, actually maybe not even into it because you are looking for funner nicer more important and productive things to do and you will end up napping for something like five hours which is about as long as a good night's sleep on some weeks and you'll look at the numbers on the app from the watch and they tell you you slept the most sound sleep in over two months, which means, what exactly does it mean, that you have zero control over your peace and quiet and no ability to predict how your relaxation cycle works? Or are you denying yourself pleasure by ignoring the signals your body sends to your brain?

There are ants in my place. Ants!

 There are ants in my place, ants! Where they're hiding is a mystery, popping out of nooks and crannies at the most opportune of times. They are big fat and scary, not brave enough to fight but outgoing enough to not let bright kitchen lights scare them. They don't line up like their tinier brethren and they certainly don't seem to be carrying two hundred times their weight, but what are they up to really and what do they feed upon. Are they wastes, just some genetic code that had nothing better to do so got itself a hobby or do they have a function?

Do we have a function, does anybody? Or do only those beings that have a function in the context of their larger ecosystem survive? Can we analyze our own existence under that paradigm? What is it really that separates us from the animals? Will we ever be able to isolate and identify it?

The mind boggles.

The Subway deals are getting really amazing, man

I'm in Virginia, yet to write the post declaring that etc and the journals from all the recent days, but it's a vacation, babay, you understand this yeh yeh yeh? SO like you wouldn't mind if I were writing this two weeks later than the date, yeah? And nobody's probably reading this and it's fine because it's supposed to be for me and I just discovered my life is just one long vacation etcetera.

Anyway the other day we got four footlongs from subway, for less than twenty bucks, thanks to their BOGO deals. The footlongs are amazing, so filling and large and tasty and also they can go for like two meals if you have a regular person's appetite. $5 footlong used to be a great deal in late 2000's and now we're getting EVEN better deals, isn't that crazy amazing?

Subway (with their coupons) are probably the best value for money fastfood you can find anywhere, and yeah that includes you tacobell. Or maybe it's a tight competition, idk. Either way, subway rocks.

I'm very close to starting a cottage industry, probably?

This post is a continuation of a previous post called 'a man with a plan' or something to that effect, you can read this independently and make all the sense though.

So I've been watching a lot lot of youtube videos by industrial suppliers in Kathmandu, where they're promising to not only almost guarantee a good business for you (they'll supply you the equipment, provide you with good financing, sell you the raw materials and buy your output at good prices) but also connect you to suppliers and do marketing for you. In addition to giving you business ideas. And I understand a lot of it is super duper cottage industry scale, not worth my time really, where the efficient usage of the equipment is less than maybe 10%. But that's not what I care about.

What I care about is starting a business, any business really, just to give me a sense of supply chain, vendor relationships, supplier relationships and the whole concept of logistics, and how the supply chain logistics works. Plus the marketing, and the actual 'business idea', which in the big picture one might consider to be almost an unimportant part because you need to get so much else right.

So yeah, even if I don't do anything exciting, I have a much better sense of what it means to be a business, and what it takes to start one. Good stuff, I'm getting smarter every day it feels like.

A man, perhaps one with a plan?

To cut the story short, you know how it feels like you don't know what you're looking for and where you need to be going and you're all out of breath and energy and direction, all confused and unsure unclear what to do? And you have no plans, you're looking for somebody to guide you, to tell you what to do or at least what to consider to evaluate your options? And then somehow things fall in place, you discover interesting things, keep doing fun things you always did and one day an interesting idea comes up, it leads you to exploring other interesting ideas, things snowball around until you find amazing things and then there's like maybe too many things you have put your fingers in, innumerable pies and your fingerprints on them and it's a little overwhelming but also so frrkkin' exciting because now the world of options has opened up for you, yeah you can fail but probably won't and even if you do it's likely you'll do much greater things?

Yeah, something like that is happening to me.

It would be daring fate to say that I'm a man with a plan now, but I'm going into a direction that's looking clearer by the month. Goodstuff.

Age of empires 4 so much watching

 This is an obvious thing I should have written here before but somehow haven't come around to. SO here it is: I've been watching a lot, and I mean a lot lot lot of age of empires 4 casted games on youtube, particularly by this caster called aussie_drongo. He's alright as a caster, misses action a lot of the time but he's funny and explains the dynamics of the game and in generally is quite outgoing and that's all I care for.

It's become a habit at this point, watch a video or two or three before starting work every morning.

Where does one move, where have people moved?

I've been telling friends and family for a while now that I want to move to Northern Virginia when my situation is more stable, buy a house or an apartment there because that's where my friends and family are in greatest concentration, it's affordable, close to DC and has a nice Asian community.

It's possible I might need to consider a backup option as well considering the political situation of this country, somewhere nice and safe like NZ or Canada but they unfortunately don't seem to care for people above a certain age threshold, a great loss for everybody involved.

Even in Virginia though, my original plan was to buy a large plot of land in the boonies with a house. Now that I've seen civilization there, I'm reconsidering. Need a nice plot of land to bring up bees and pigeons and do a bunch of projects, maybe mushrooms too, and possibly rent out a small place so there's always somebody looking at the place even when I'm traveling. And then buy a small 1-2 bedroom place in a more urban location, closer to friends and family, to crash during the weekends and go to during the festivals. To maintain the best balance of the rural and the urban.

Of course everything is out of my price range and there's not a chance in the world I'd find a partner willing and able to assist me in living this dream. A pity, nothing in the affordable range for a single man, what a loss.

Still one can dream.

Should I become a teacher soon, or something

For those who may be concerned, likely to be me in the future, this was barely a serious consideration. I started thinking of it because SD, who lives in Virginia Beach apparently worked as an assistant teacher at an NY charter school and apparently there's program for professionals to transition from well-paying jobs into one of those jobs, and I thought maaaan I can be so inspirational to those kids, Imma change errybody's life and it'll be awesome.

I've already written about my fantasy/dream about becoming a drama teacher back in my school in kathmandu and encouraging kids to do whatever they wish to as long as they're not hurting anybody or getting me in trouble in anyway. I understand it's fantasy, of the strongest kind because films and movies tell us about those crazy awesome inspirational people who are the inspiration for movies and books and then die I think(?) and in the end all the students even the asshole dudes standup and go all like oh captain my captain.

But I dream, I dream, teenagers are awful, people are awful, and teaching involves not just educating but also managing literal children, it's not a picnic, it's hard work stressful and annoying, so demanding and very poorly paid. Ugh, wish things could change there.

More planty plants for my housy house

 My stay in Virginia at various friends at relatives' places (I won't be visiting their places for a few days, but I'm writing from the future) has made me realize that there's so much potential for me to add new plants to the apartment. More moss and lichen, more ferns, and more of the creeping plants like money plant, to cover the walls and the windows and all over, make it like a freakin' rain-forest, my apartment. And monsterra and what not, the possibilities are endless, all in less than a hundred buckaroos I'm so pumped up, lesgoooo!

Some philosophical considerations

 I am of course no philosopher.

Yet at times one dares philosophize, for one's approach to life can always be improved, introspected upon and changed. Why bother so much, some will ask, what are you trying to optimize, why not live in the moment not care about how much better it can get, appreciate what you have and bask in the glow of life and existence, they will propose.

Life doesn't work like that though. Success begets success. Happiness creates desire for more happiness. Stability paves way for greater stability.

So one will try to philosophize, mental models on how human beings work and should work and how that interacts with the real world. Yet we have all different brains and relationships with other people and to the physical surroundings around us. Which means what works for one might not necessarily work for another.

So we create abstractions, generalized observations about people and relationships that should work across the personality types and circumstances. We propose those to be universal to the human condition, the description of the overall human existence rather than a particular set of circumstances.

Such generalizations generally never work. Because philosophy doesn't arise in a vacuum.

Our societies and upbringing and 'fashion' in the times of our upbringing shape the values we hold, and things that we consider to be worth 'considering'. In other words we are but servants to the intellectual fads and fashions that guide our philosophizing.

And the desire to create universal lessons remains unfulfilled.

How the hell have I been sleeping so well lately?

 I'm in Virginia, and I've been sleeping real well lately, suspiciously well really given the circumstances. I go to sleep at 10pm which is 7pm Seattle time and get up at like 6am, aka 3am Seattle time. My body has adjusted to EST automatically with zero effort from me! How? Who knows such mysteries of nature. This is all doubly-triply suspicious because the mattress I'm sleeping on is quite...springy...as in the springs are very much there...and poke my back at a few times.

Maybe that's what I was missing on my quest for sound sleep, an uncomfortable mattress to humiliate my brain into sound sleep. The mysteries of the mind are unknowable.

10 good thoughts to have

  1.  If your life sucks, absolutely sucks, it can get better, it will likely get better, one shitty thing at a time, slow and steady. Just. Hold. On. Tight.

  2. If you're doing quite well and everything you want and have ever wanted is coming to fruition, fear not. Your success doesn't imply the universe is just waiting for an opportunity to punish you, and your streak of good fortune and hard work will likely not turn around all of a sudden, and even then you'll be just fine.

  3. Babies can figure out the whole goddamn universe from nothing, from a single cell. You can probably figure out all the hard things in life too, eventually, ya gotta keep at it without fear or surrender.

  4. Gloomy weather doesn't last forever, the sun will come out eventually, and it'll be glorious, even better than you imagine it to be.

  5. Unlike how it might feel during rough times, there's a silver lining around the corner, and human beings in general have quite lovely lives in modern societies.

  6. You can find some amazing deals at fast food restaurants, and their meals can be healthier than some home-cooked stuff if you plan it right.

  7. Mango season is here!

  8. If you have insecurites and feel lonely, remember that everybody else is like you and looking to make friends and have a stronger community to fight against the cold dark uncaring universe.

  9. There's no reason to fear the gods, they're a bunch of lazy posers.

  10. All you need to do to 'turn that frown, upside down' is to do a headstand.

Rough lives can recover, one issue at a time

This is about somebody I've written about in this post in the past.

My outlook on life was altered after knowing them. The world is a terrible place for a lot of people, I realized, they're dealt a one bad hand after another, and not told the rules of the game, not given the tools to figure it out, and left to fend for themselves. When they can't figure things out because everything is stacked against them, they are punished harshly, which leads them to strange conclusions about the nature of reality, it's an unending circle of awful existence and terrible decisions. Or so I thought.

I'm reconsidering that worldview.

It appears that things can and will change, for the better, for incredibly good turns, one issue at a time. If you've been handed a hundred different awful hands, one day you notice you're getting favorable plays in one game. And you leverage winnings from it to increase your chance of win in a different play, and so on and on. It's not linear growth or improvement obviously but the trend is clear: people having a better set of tools and experiences to deal with life than they started with.

Rough lives can recover, they do that all the time, and if one desires, one can turn their lives upside down for the better. Warms my heart, that what could be considered irrecoverable can change.

Hope is the king, cynicism leads to death and decay, it seems.

The Seattle gang, do I miss 'em?

I'm in Virginia. Been here for a while now, more than a week. My gang's in Seattle, the new close gang I've made, which includes a couple of new people included in addition to my regular friends. Not including my brother though unfortunately, should hang with him more often. So do I miss them or what?

In some ways yes, because we used to do so many fun things starting thursday evening and ending sunday night. And sometimes even Monday evening or Wednesday evening. Walks, clubbing yadda yadda yadda. Or just latenight hangs doing nothing.

But there's so much chill vibes here, lowkey doing nothing, sleeping at 9pm and living the suburbs life, it's hard to remember the hustle and bustle of the city, I definitely don't miss my noisy apartment with drunk people shouting below my bedroom windows at three in the morning.

Kiddie language

 My 2-year old niece has a language of her own, like all children do. Sometimes I wonder children design their language to maximally annoy the adults.

Because my niece I know for a fact can most definitely pronounce certain words and phrases in isolation. As a part of her 'language' though she consistently mispronounces it, to sound more childlike, and perhaps to be more adorable. I correct her and she gets it right every time, but appears to cherish when people make fun of her for being funny with the rolls of are and misses at the 's'esses.

Cool thing about children's languages is seeing the progression of them figure out the intricacies of relationships. Children eventually figure out that the world doesn't exist with a single perspective (me, me, me) and everybody has a first-person language, and you change the voice when you're talking about other people and also there's different relationships between other people and what they call one another, and it's possible to take advantage of that. It seems actually that all of childhood behavior originates from trying to take advantage of various nuances of human relationships.

Fun stuff.

I'm in Virginia

 [Technically I'm writing this two weeks later, whatever]

So I'm in Virgnia, the northern part of it that's liberal and expensive but also so worth it, nice large South Asian community, many upper-middle-class working Nepali families and young professionals, close to one's friends and family and most importantly close to being affordable.

There are of course many upsides to me being here, including it being a vacation, getting caught up regularly, good food, chill lifestyle etcetera.

The downsides are, I don't get any of my physical workouts done, I can't walk to anywhere good, I have no social life outside hanging out with whoever I'm staying at with, and can't go anywhere either because it's all the 'burbs with no stupid public transport. It's a mixed bag for somebody like me without a car or a driving license.

I do like being here though, my experience will be very different i imagine if I got a car and a license. Should be soon.

Stream of subconsciousness

 Who am i writing as as I write this, what's the voice for this blog, something I haven't given thought to much. Considering changing the title sentence to be wittier and weirder but not as snappy. But it forces a very specific voice into the blog, not like it doesn't already but then the space around which I can maneuver gets smaller. The voice, this blog has a voice still, yes? a persona of sorts I take on when writing casual posts because surely in my head I have an idea of who I want to be perceived as when I write these words and sentences, some idea generally of the people who'll eventually read the words some day far ahead in the future when humanity has long since gone the way of the dodos and the advanced AI civilization is trying to figure out what the cause of decline was and they pinpoint to this exact piece of uninspired crap, the blog in general, when the human civilization lost their motivation and flame that had been helping it ascend various levels of consciousness.

Now on to something completely unrelated and possibly quite controversial. There's a big war going on, and one easy way for all the Russian restaurants to quickly adapt to the situation is to just put the Ukrainian flag on display out in the open and sort of imply generally without ever explicitly saying so that the food available in there is exactly what they eat in Ukraine -- which I assume is probably not way off the mark -- and that a small portion of their bill will go towards helping Ukrainians in crisis.

Did you know -- listening to no such thing as a fish -- that the Hard Rock Cafe is owned by the a Native American confederacy from Southern Florida? Wild.

Virginia is going to be extremely happening, less than a year and half to headout now, so much family stuff to do -- they's going to be like 9 of us in the house yayh-- and then have three different houses where I have have to crash absolutely because I've committed to it in the past etc.

Envy envy cope -- 2

Continued from here.

To get to the details, the other day I was napping at the brewery. I was high, overstuffed on the IHOP dinner, tired because the weather and the walks, and wasn't in the mood. Mostly I was high as a fly. Heads down on the table, no big deal, alright, none of some rando from New York's deal specially. Somebody should have told them that because they came up to me (sk, more like) and were all, oh nooo what's up with your friend hopefully he's okay, and I kid you not, not making it up, the second possibly the third sentence was, ohh by the way what are you doing after this wanna hang with me? I just like stared at the ceiling, escaped the brewery with the boys who fortunately for me were just heading out. Because jeeez girl let the guy freakin' breathe, it's not like he's not getting enough attention already, okay?

The other data point comes from the east coast where the location of the party in question or their initials I cannot divulge because there's readers here who may have a vested interest in the matters about to be mentioned hereforth and it would be not good if the concerned parties discovered the details of their personal lives were being laundered here in public. To cut a very long fun exciting story that I very much want to live vicariously because it sounds exactly like something that'd happen in Friends or Himym or Seinfeld or one of those things, short, a very dear fellow of mine has done excruciatingly well socially and ouch ouch ouch it hurts. So much so they've been unable to give me time on occasions I'm around to spend quality time with them. That I don't mind but it's yet another hit to the good ole' ego, to have people you grew up with and shat and showered and cooked and ate together be so confoundingly popular. Only way to describe the situation, confounding. 

It's a continued pattern I guess so not so confusing at all, there have been evidence of their popularity with various persons in the past but I attributed that to mostly poor judgment on the part of the admirers, smart people fail making simple decisions all the time and their specific decision -- or was it an impulse, more like -- could be safely ignored without harming the appraisal of their judgment in general, or having to reappraise the situation of one's fellow.

Unfortunately that approach is not sustainable anymore and I'm effing peeved. Watch out this space for more stuff in this series.

Where the cuties at?

 Lets talk about this now because all the caution has been thrown to the wind, we've surrendered to the vagaries of life, realized that the point of an ego, a distinction of the self against the hivemind is a deception that the ego only wants to grow and grow and grow until it is the single fucking thing in the whole of existence and nothing else matters. Better control it when you can instead of letting it grow amuck. When it's in check you're open to considering options you'd have thought you know maybe not necessary because you can meet women on your own, OKAAAAY super sweet friend who just thought you'd get along together with their single cute smart friend but you don't want none of that helpful bullshit because omg that's soo offensive you can find girls on your own without needing to be set up, ugh.

Into. The. Crevasse. The Donaghy approach to strategy. The Fabian strategy when you strategically retreat and let your enemy make the wrong move, perhaps they'll retreat themselves, or perhaps they'll overextend themselves opening up the space for you to destroy their logistics train and wreak havoc in their supplies. That's how one should think about real nice friends of yours who're just trying to set you up because they want to see you happy.

It's not completely unreasonable truth be told once one realizes that the fuckin' social media is where all the modern weabos meet each other and literally everybody is on it so one wants to be the sort of weirdo not on it then it is all on them, really no? You don't go to your favourite bar in the world, for example, to meet your partner, you go where they might be. Which is probably some other place besides where you're in your best form. But social media's shit, not worth compromising over.

Besides that where the cuties at, really? Not DilMil deargods please no and again this is not the ego talking but accurate self appraisal and I'm terrible, dastardly awful shockingly so at marketing myself, presenting myself in a digestible form. Maybe once I take more control of my leadership skills, once I take those courses I'll be able to sell myself better because there's sales element in there too, hahh.

The point of all of this, the long and the short of it is that if you want to set me up please do it and let me know.

Friend birthday celebrations

 This weekend is Ar(y)'s birthday celebration weekend. Thursday night we celebrated with close friends and family only. This evening (Friday) we're doing it for the general public (which to be fair is only like five more people who couldn't make it on Friday for various reasons of their own). Also we took him to the state fair and he had one hell of a time, wasting our tickets in those scammy games that you think you have such a decent chance at winning but bro you don't understand you don't understand man the system's rigged, it's fuckin' rigged against you cos' if it wasn't they wouldn't be out there making a business out of it, it'd be bankrupt. He had a good time, for the entertainment value and that's what is important. Later today I'm told we have surprise birthday cake and more singing etcetera, possibly some going out to dance and party too. And one proposal by the extended gang that we haven't bought into but might even end up happening is going out to the boonies in the middle of the night to look at the meteor shower. Sounds aaiteee and he's into it but not without his buds aka us! So sweeeet.

Random comment etcetera the good news is that my daibhauju are arriving around noon tomorrow giving me ample time to clean up the sty I like to call the 'apartment'.

State fair

It was a surprise that the 'state fair' is a large fairground most likely, and they have seasonal fairs through the year, instead of...what I imagined was one large annual fair that...moved locations. Reality is more practical and sensible, I'd never given the logistics of state fairs a thought.

We saw Llamas, pigs, Alpacas, so many little birds, farm equipment, gorged, absolutely gorged on way wayyy too much food, played those stupid fair games that are totally so unfair, they're entirely rigged but nobody gives a damn whatever. Oh and rode a rickety old wooden roller coaster which was much fun than I imagined from its physical being, my heart almost left my ribcage a few times. Good times.

It was hella pricey, ended up spending like 80 bucks for the entire experience, but hey part of it was a gift to Ar(y) for his birthday, and he says he had one helll of a time so all's well. All is indeed well.

Oh, so many young people in there too, like teenagers, high school kids. And the restrooms were refreshingly clean. Happy funloving people all around, good times were had.

Some sort of light diarrhea probably

 It's not a full-on diarrhea where I need to go to the restroom every three minutes and I'm shitting hot fucking water. Happened to me in the past, was awful, that's not the situation right now. It's just that the stool is a lot more soft...and uhh...forceful than otherwise, and I've gone to the loo a few times. What may have caused it, you wonder? My bet is on either the overyeasted kefir that I've been drinking, should put that in the fridge to control the yeastie bois, or the mushroom that I maybe didn't clean as well as I should have? The fried rice I've had on two different occasions and it was alright, so it's a bit of a thinker. My system should have gotten used to fermented foods no, by now?

Massive chhyang batch initiated

 Yesterday I cooked up six cups of sweet rice, yeast and amylase balls, the size of the batch was twice my first batch. Today I took it up yet another notch, almost 40% higher than the second round. They're both 'dry' batches aka I haven't added enough water for things to be floating. That's a problem because the fermentation is going to be super slow. I like it that way though because it'll take a few days to get hold of local yeasties and let them do their thing before my super commercial powerful yeast takes over, which means the taste is going to be a lot more manageable.

I've already optimized the workflow so much within those three/four batches. First thing, soaking and washing rice becomes quicker. Second, I know now how to steam rice. First you need to poke holes in the rice so the steam is let through. You also need to start the water boiling only AFTER you put the rice in so it's slow. That way the rice is not all hard and nasty. Third, you don't always have to use hands to mix rice with yeast and amylase because things get a-messy. Fourth, the more rice I do in a batch, the easier the entire thing is. So scaling up should get me great gains, because the cooking, prep and the punching down times don't scale with the volume at all.

I should have between 3-5 litres of chhyang by the end of this, when I'm back in Seattle in 20 days from now. Gonna be littt. Still need to remember to add water to both the brews tomorrow before I leave though, otherwise the results might be...unexpected.

Need to scale up the experimental brews

 I've been taking it too careful with milk kefir, small batches at the time, not keeping pace with how much the public aka my close group of friends in Seattle absolutely fucking loves those things. Gotta scale up the production so I may provide a bottle each of kefir to all my friends, even extended group, every week.

Water kefir is even slow, I've been doing some sort of weird two-stage fermentation, first with the jellies in a very small jar, and then with the low-floating natural yeasts in a much larger container. I'm beginning to suspect the yeast-heavy second fermentation may be fucking things up, gotta fridgerate that up.

Been extraordinary careful with kombucha because I'm not sure where it'll go. It's so freaking tart, not even sour, just hella tart which I could definitely sell as a good thing to people...if I ever offered it up. I'm thinking of making the kombucha super thirsty for sugar, and then mix it with warter kefir and whole lotta sugar for second fermentation so I get super fizzy water kefir, because with fizz in it tastes exactly like expensive soda.

Quick change of plans

This is a badnews/goodnews situation. The badnews is the two weeks of funhaving and traveling I thought was happening with my cousin and his wife in May in Seattle isn't happening. Because it wasn't a plan for May, they're coming in tomorrow morning. Yeah, huh.

The goodnews is I have more free time to spend with people in Seattle, do fun things, explore the state and the city and the nature around here, the whole freaking month opened up.

I get to spend one day with my cousins here, not too bad of a deal all things considered.

Random song recco -- feels good to be a zombie

First were born and then we die
and in between most of us spent all our time cryin
once we were blind but now we can see
it feels good to be a zombie
(NOW I SEE THERES NOTHING TO GET IN AND NOTHING TO GET OUT OF, IT'S THAT SIMPLE!)
we move slow cuz there's no need to run
besides what's the point of runnin when its love that you're runnin from
life was a jail and we found the key
in the bite of a zombie


Envy envy seethe - 1

This is gonna be a multiparter. Because I say so. It may or may not have anything to do with the fact that I'm idea bankrupt. Eff you creativity gods.

Yeah so. At this point in life I have become that girl from Hollywood movies, she's not ugly just so self conscious and friends with the female lead who gets all the attention from men women and everyone else and she's just...there, a prop for random people to use to hit on her friend.

Is this good? Or bad? On one hand it's exciting I find myself among a group of outgoing exciting popular people in large cities of this country, as a part of a group that would make for a good setup for a decent sitcom. People go out on dates, get in minor trouble, talk about girl problems, have to deal with crises. Interesting time! Living vicariously fucking rocks right now!

And yet. Yet yet yet. There's this pinge of....envy, that the people you have been friends with for two decades get all this exquisite attention and their social calendar looks crazy and you would literally murder sentient beings to have their choice of incredible dates and people to hang out with maybe date maybe be friends perhaps something in between who cares as long as everybody is safe and having fun. 

Where are you in this? On the margins of this great book, a random doodle by a not particularly invested reader. Inconsequential, insignificant, invisible.

Wait, did I say that was the good part?

Review: IHOP Capitol Hill Seattle

 Last weekend we went to IHOP for dinner, here's a review.

The ambience was surprisingly good. I say surprising because I did not expect as many people (the seats were pretty much all taken) at eight in the evening. Not too noisy, not too quiet. The server seemed to having a problem of her own, we all have our rough days.

Food-wise I ordered the only thing in the menu I could eat, the mushroom-spinach omelette. You know how sometimes you're like, aahh this is fine but this is so easy to make at home, easypeasy to make something so much better than this? Well this was not one of those occasions, it would take me a lot lot lot of work to make something even approaching what I got in either taste or flavor. Just for this item, 8/10.

However, nobody else in the party liked their food, they were all pretty disappointed actually. And fair enough, I'd gotten myself slightly drunk and high before heading for the breakfast place because it woulda' been weird to go there sober. My dinner friends did not do that. Sober IHOP is maybe not the best for dinner.

Overall 6/10, I'd go again for that one menu item if I had to, but TacoBell is my bae, I'd get a whole lotta burritos for twenty one buckaroos.

Review: Araya's place at U District, weekend lunch

This is a review of Araya's place, the Thai restaurant at University District in Seattle. More specifically their weekend (and week) lunch deal.

They have two lunch offers: a curry and rice for seven bucks, and a larger deal which included one serving of pad thai, one rice, one curry, one full-sized salad, and one black rice pudding. All vegan, all for takeout.

First the service: it was great, delivery was quick. Price was extremely reasonable. The drinks were overpriced, that's definitely where they made the difference from what a goddamn clever trick.

The serving sizes were massive, particularly for the 15 buck offer, I got four meals out of that one order. You tell me if that wasn't a good deal!

Tastewise everything was perfect. I don't usually eat salads, but this one was good. The rice pudding was sweet and creamy. The curry was so goddamn creamy, even though I didn't care for the veggies. The pad thai wasn't awful, that's a compliment coming from me, I hate those things.

8.5/10, I'd like to get their lunch deal again.

Some questions that arise as one spends one's days

  1.  Who won the egghiding competition? (Easter, sigh)

  2. Congrats on the couch with the legs?

  3. Do you have anything besides the instruction manual in your freezer now that it's been six months of moving?

  4. What did you have for dinner? no salty crackers and Oreos don't count as something.

  5. How many beers can you drink and still be able to go to the gym?

  6. Is it better if you're talking to multiple people with the same name? Efficiency?

  7. What's a 'dinner' anyway?

  8. Heyyyy maaan, you ever think how we look at the clouds, what if like, they're looking back at us, you know, trippy duuuude? Yeah it's 4/20 today

  9. How many nights a week will we celebrate a friend's birthday?

  10. Should I not sleep at all, or wake up super duper duper early?

  11. Why do you even bother asking what barbershop, we all goto the same place, all of us to the same gd place?

Not the 'gram, no I won't

My dear miss,
Will you please
Stop telling me
Unconvincingly
to be on the place
where everyone's at
The land of the 'gram
Ruled by the evilest of bots
The zuckerbot?

It's not just
That I don't want
But you just can't
Can't can't can't
Write diatribes long
To just everybody
Who comes along?

Maan, where do I
Even begin
I want to reply
But I can't
Because you're stuck
With your annoying rant
About how cool
The gram is,
You know what
This will last
As long as
I'm not sick
And tired and bored.


Latest summer plans update

Summer plans have solidified eventually, lots of potential options abandoned, other new options popped up.

This Sunday I leave for Virginia, stay there for 16/17 days. Spend time there in three different places, celebrate birthdays, travel and chill at the beach in North California.

Get back the second week of May, got a few days for myself, to hang with the gang and chill. Later AD and SB come in from Dallas, they'll stay at a hotel for a week and at my place for another week. We're going to be traveling all over most definitely, probably ONP or Rainier and Hood or Crater, whatever they're interested in. Lots of camping potential too because I know AD loves camping, there's this old joke about how he asked SB to spend night at a walmart parking lot on their third date.

So between late May and early June I have another week or two for me and the Seattle gang, hope we're doing all the fun things then. Because on June 10 I go for Colorado, Shr, Sb's cousin from the other side is going to be there, along with the other cousins, and we're planning some sort of road trip (or otherwise) around Colorado. First time in the state, it's gonna be poppin'.

Back home on the 20th of June. And that's my plans for the next two months.

The paint thief

For today's prompt, something important has just gone missing in a museum. What was it? Who took it? Who will notice it's missing?

Source

Daniel Roberts knew he was in trouble. The vase was seen by the security guard in the shift before, and it wasn't by the guard after him. The location was exactly where the camera cut off, and other cameras hadn't captured anybody go in or out. Which meant it was an inside job, somebody who knew the exact angles. If he didn't find the culprit and hand over the evidence, they'd get him. He wasn't implicated exactly, everything was circumstantial, but there's no chance he'd hold the job after this fiasco. He liked working at the museum, low stakes, stress-free and good pay. Without it he wouldn't be able to support his artistic lifestyle. Back to busing tables at the local Italian place? Dan shivered. The tips weren't that great and the job was back-breaking. Plus he couldn't use his downtime to learn history art culture on youtube.

He replayed the video, there was nothing new that everybody else hadn't already seen. The corner was empty, the last guard in his round turns and gazes at the unseen vase. And then keeps walking. Clear hands, usual tummy, nothing suspicious. Not one. goddamn. thing. So it was established there was a vase, that was seen by the previous guy. Where was it, why did he not notice that goddamn piece of antique. How much was it, four million dollars, a gift of some old Chinese king to another, it held the value because the remains of one's most trusted soldiers were stored in it.

And then it struck him. He remembered seeing something around there when he was walking because he was thinking about what he'd cook in the morning, and the corner popped up for some reason. Yes, I know who it is, you were so very clever weren't you, so goddamn clever, almost got me fired.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Dan said in front of the small group of museum employees, "I have invited all of you here because we have identified the thief, the culprit who was responsible for taking the vase away. Or at least a conspirator of the thief, that I'm sure. Allow me to explain," the security guard said.

"I thought the fact that everybody else had noticed it but not me was unfortunate and rather careless of me, because this was -- is -- an expensive trophy for our institution. I asked, how could I hhae never figured items? There was no way i'd ignore something so important. And then I remember seeing this the last time around, which was more than two weeks ago. But I remembered noticing something there, and then discovered something wild, something you fools didn't remember at all before pointing your dirty fingers at me. This wasn't the internal discussion on the deployment. "

"And then I remembered, the vase had been removed safely two weeks ago aas political dissent was replaced by disappearing electricians.

Empty house

Prompt: This week, set your story in an empty house. Has it been abandoned? Is it being renovated? Does your character supposed to be there, or are they sneaking around? The choice is yours!

Source

The house is empty, the house is empty, it's an empty house, I tell myself. If I keep saying it, my mind is going to internalize it eventually. Right?

The creak from upstairs, what was it? Is anybody there, do I want to shout? Could it be a ghost? Ghosts are the worst, not like I've dealt with them a lot but friends have said they're not so good. House exploration is a hobby you absolutely cannot take up if you're afraid of ghosts, they're the risks of the occupation. I'd rather go the rest of my life without seeing one. Nothing against them personally. Everything has its time, the proper time to make friends with the ghosties is post-mortem. Please be empty, please be empty.

The lights flicker. Fuck. Bad wiring probably. I hear door creaks, the floor boards groan under my shoes. The wind makes breathing sounds against the window, as if somebody is right by my neck. It's not real, it's not real, nobody around. Just me and my fears, the issues I have to deal with.

I'm on the second floor, the doors are all open, interesting. I'm imagining the situation the owners must have left the house, in hurry, pulling their kids away as they refused to shut their doors. Little did they imagine somebody like me would find evidence of their hurried departure in their place. Overflowing, rotting trash, a broken cup. Entropy takes its toll, not even these large physical beast can resist the ravages of time the ultimate equalizer.

Ticktock ticktock ticktock, a large clock somewhere. Engineering masterpieces those dang ticky tocky mechanical things. You think a digital clock is going to last any time at all, they stop working the moment somebody looks away, no class, no lasting substance. The analog way is the way to go.

The bed is musty, nothing of interest here, the closet door broken. Cheap chinese child's toys, clothes thrown about in a hurry. Where are the owners right now, what are they doing? What would they think if they knew what happened to the place, so many questions.

Muffled sounds, bright lights downstairs, somebody coming my way. I stop breathing, hide myself in the smelly living room closet. It could be robbers, it could be anybody you don't want to take a chance, I need to make my way out of the place at the earliest.

Dammit Gunny, a middle-aged man's voice says, didja forget to close all the doors, and owhhh my godd smell this goddamn rotting trash did you not throw the trash away? What the heck were you thinkin' bud, I told ya you'd have to do your chores before we go, alright? Jeez and what the hell is up with this door, was it always this noisy? I'm going to oil it this evening. Folks, we're back alright. Yeah we didn't get to spend our vacation in full but I promise we'll have a great time with the family right here, ain't gotta need for Disney's pricey room, ya hear? Go to your rooms children and clean them up. And I mean right NOW, go run now!

Friendly chats and catchup from all over, leftover pad thai lunch, drinks 30 rock and gym [Mon 18]

I write this the day after, finally caught up on the journals, for some reason they're the one I've been postponing the most writing despite being the easiest to.

Anyway for lunch I had pad thai leftover. So yum. Work was productive.

During work also talk to RK, after a while, what a good time I have every time I talk to them. After work caught up with ED and SA, who I've scheduled meetings for every 3 weeks now, to talk, the first one being this Thursday. I'm going to plan the shit out of my life to get it in place, freakin' finally, otherwise there's no way to get my shit together now.

Didn't go to get haircut or do other important things because I napped I think, or did something else less important. Went to Sb's place, got a couple of beers free thanks to his building, watched 30 rock, did workouts, as much as every other day, and back to one drink and more 30 rock. Headed out for home at 10.30 or after, don't remember.

Slept at a pretty respectable time, should really get my schedule better.

Early morning walk at Arboreturm, drive and lunch at UDistrict, amazing Thai meal deal, rooftop hang, early day in, so much napping! [Sun 17]

 Headed out to the Arboretum at 11.30 ish after so much texting to the group about doing something more interesting. This was perfect because I wouldn't have done anything more useful, so that was the best use of my time. Spent a few hours with Ar(e) and Ak(y) walking to the Islands that had been flooded, and then back up to the South side, and back. Way longer than I thought it'd be. It was chill, the weather was perfect.

Drove to Thai restaurant in Udistrict at around 2.30 for lunch. For $15 they had one serving of pad thai, one serving of rice, one serving of thai curry, one serving of salad, and one large serving for black rice pudding. It was yum, it lasted me like four or five meals, so incredible, what an amazing deal. We had our lunch at the park by the restaurant, then tried going to Costco unfortunately it was closed due to easter. So we drove to CapHill to the boys' place, chilled at the roof. Talked to N about his trip to Europe and living situation pre-departure.

Headed home by sneaking away because I was high and tired and wanted a lot of me-time on the Sunday evening. Napped a lot at home, woke up, chilled a bit, and napped more.

Cold day in, walk and hang at Sk's, gigglies, cross connections with new people, everybody comes in, chiura tarkari linner, Deepwater and the other movie, movienight [Sat 16]

 Cold and rainy saturday, didn't do much earlier part of the day, not much to eat at home so I was scrounging. Luckily Sk asked if I wanted to come over to eat potatoes and chiura and I said yes please, went to his place, walked a bunch, smoked a bit, back to his place, and had chiura tarkari achaar for linner. Talked to a friend of a friend, who Sk is also talking to, yes I'd like to be introduced to your single friends now, I've given up on self esteem and ego in there.

Anyway the rest of the gang eventually figured in, Ar's, Aks, and we dimmed the lights, lit the joints and watched two movies. The first one was deep water which is a weird weird weird movie, somewhat in the form of Gone Girl, also with Ben Affleck. It's a good movie but a weird fuckin' one.

After that we watched the Indian movie with Dhanush and Saif Ali Khan's daughter where the guy and the girl are forced to marry each other but the girl has a boyfriend in Akshay Kumar who by the way is a guest actor so don't watch the movie for him. It was pretty decent, morality of Dhanush and the weird framing notwithstanding.

Headed home at 1am, which isn't bad, right?

Travel tickets finally, evening hang with extended guys at the park, hang at Sk's, IHOP dinner, Optimism hang, friend attention, nap at boys', quiet night [Fri 15]

 Bought tickets for the VA trip finally, who the fuckin' fuck is traveling so much lately, I've written about this already but jeebus chhrist how expensive are those tix gonna get I'm so effing mad, this is by far the most I've paid for a domestic ticket in this country, in any country ugh the combo of spring break and the end of the pandemic more or less is terrible for people like me, I mean yeah it's great whatever.

Don't remember what I had for lunch, probably peanut butter and honey sammich, this week was taking its toll on me and I was losing my will to take pictures even.

In the evening I went to the park and played with M the doggo, Sk was there and the boys showed up too. And very soon the rest of the extended Seattle gang showed up, including Pk and his brother, and A who is SS's friend from Boston. I thought they were dating but probably so did other people based on their insta-versatons, maybe not. Really hard to figure things out with certain people, whatever I'll get over it.

So much talk about going to dinner somewhere but nothing got figured out. Instead we ended up smoking up at Sk's place and chilling, decided to go to IHOP of all places because it's right across the street from him. I had a good time, a massive mushroom omlette for 21 bucks so creamy and yummy I could most definitely never make anything so good, but unfortunately literally the only item on the menu I could eat.

Later we went to Optimism brewery where I was too high to get a drink even, so just chatted up. The smoke made me want to sleep super hard. Somebody came to check up on me when I had put down my head on the table, turns out it was some girl who was more interested in my friend, and the second line of that freaking conversation, after checking up on me, was 'what are you doing after'. I was really annoyed at the attention I wasn't getting so I joined the boys who were heading out and went to Aks's place where I promptly slept in bed. It was a nice long nap until 1am, when I headed home. Apparently the girls had showed up but I was too high and sleepy and tired to care.

Mushroom omlette lunch, chhyang extraction, long and busy, walk with Ar to wishing tree, new ID, hang with the boys, dinner at the girls', so many items, early night back [Thu 14]

 For lunch I had mushroom lunch, homemade mushrooms. But not homemade eggs, gotta get me some chickens.

After work I squeezed chhyang out of rice, the way to do it is apparently first extract it without put pressure, then add a bit of water to the dry husk, and then squeeze that out pretty hard so all the liquor is out of the rice. Maybe do the addition of water a few times? Did this early because I wanted to cold crash so I wouldn't have yeast-related tummyache.

After work I went on a walk with Ar(y) to volunteer park, checked out the Wishing tree as well, stopped there for couple of minutes. Walked back, dropped her at the park, and back home. Where I showered, and recovered my new work ID. Wrote a bit as well.

Headed to the boys' place, chilled a bit, we found a rental car and drove over to the girls' place. There we had a solid dinner with my chhyang and kefir, both were heavily appreciated. Ar(e) had made so many veggies, it was kinda overwhelming.

Because it seemed liked people were getting too comfortable, I got sleepy, napped for a bit, and headed out at elevenish.

Super gloomy day, not much happened, stay in, highly unmotivated, kefir processing, cheese hummus sandwiches, pb sammiches for dinner [Wed 13]

 Once again this was yet another day in this depressing week, so unmotivated, so dark so rainy and goomy so very windy. Didn't do much, nothing exciting. After work processed the kefir, wrote about how slow my kefir processing is.

For dinner I had cheese, hummus sandwiches, like they do in the UK, and then also peanut butter sandwiches because those tiny servings were not filling enough.

Leftover bean-mushroom fried rice, walk to volunteer park and the chill tree, safeway and trader joe's, sunny outside, play with the boys in the park, brushcetta dinner, gym [Tue 12]

 For lunch I had the leftover fried rice with mushroom and beans from the day before.

Walked by myself to Volunteer park, walked back from around 23rd street, saw the wishing tree, cute one.

On my way back dropped by Safeway to see if there's anything good and maaan that store is priceyyy. Went into TJ's and bought bruschetta etc, just to get something to snack on.

It was super sunny outside, so went to the Cal Anderson park, played soccer pass and with the doggo M with the boys and Sk. Stayed there for a couple of hours, walked back home, had bruschetta and bread for dinner.

Went to the gym after, didn't play pool or any other games because it was super late as I was talking to folks from back home. Came home, wrote and wasted time and went to bed at a reasonable time.

Mushroom-beans fried rice, rest at home, extra duper gloomy weather, rest day [Mon 11]

For lunch I fried up a bunch of the mushroom I had, added the bean stew to it, added rice and had bean fried rice for dinner.

Didn't go out of the house during the day, it was very windy and cold and rainy, there was nowhere for me to go or anything to do. I could have walked to the park or the library I guess, but I wasn't feeling it. I should have gone to the Library, that's what I should do, make a 'todo' list for a rainy day. Slept to podcasts.

Motel 6, Highway 101, veggie lunch, tacobell, skipped Nepali linner, rain rain, popeyes dinner, home finally [Sun 10]

 Got up early in the morning at Motel 6, everybody showered and got ready and we made our way. Went to see a couple of scenic overlooks of the ocean, I got lunch at TacoBell yum yum and we were on our way.

We took the Highway 101 to Seattle. So many touristy towns, so many scenic vistas and resorts and things to do, this part of the State I'll come over again most definitely, I love it. Gotta spend a long time in the resorts there.

Also on the way we stopped at a Safeway and I had carrots and snacking tomatoes for lunch, the rest of the group was disgusted that I ate tomatoes raw, and for lunch too.

Because I was quite full, I didn't eat at the Nepali restaurant we made to 25 minutes before their closing time. Sweet little recently-opened place owned by a Nepali person, talked to them after the lunch, the gang didn't find the meal extraordinary, it was just alright. I was getting impatient but they had a great time talking to the owner.

Very soon after we left the restaurant it started raining, so gloomy and windy, we couldn't see much of the ocean or anything cool. We went to the beach to touch the water and jump around for a bit while it was still raining, in raincoats and umbrella but that was it. Not much else happened.

Got dinner at a popeye's near Seattle, I had the mac n cheese and yum yum yum, it was so good. I wish I'd gotten my cheese there was well hahah. They made us wait forever because they'd run out of the good stuff and then they forgot to deliver the items to the car.

Made it home after midnight and sleepytimes.

Snowed in!, being tricky, snow socks, an adventure, amazing scenery, around Crater lake, TacoBel McD BurgerKing meals, finally in California, cold beach [Sat 9]

When we got up in the morning there was a 1+ foot of snow in the ground, we had been snowed in! Our car was completely covered in the white powder and it seemed unlikely we'd be able to leave town that day because roads were crazy slippery.

Fortunately the gang was useful, we used towels to clean the car, and the underseat carpets as traction devices under the tires to get the car out of the parking lot. The roads were still quite slippery so we bought snow tire socks at a gas station, As(y) and I am confident we got ripped off but that wasn't a big worry because we'd have been stuck in snow without it.

We got stuck on a traffic jam on the way, discovered we'd lost one of our tire socks, drove back over because they were sixty fucking bucks, found them, recovered them through a very dangerous move we shouldn't have done at all and got back to our drive.

Loved the various ecosystems on our way to Crater lake, desert-like, grasslands, forests, snowed areas, snowless areas, what a diverse area that part of the country is!

Made it to Crater Lake finally, only to discover the road there was snowed-in. Waited a bit there, and made our way to Diamond lake instead before discovering we were almost out of gas. Gassed up by going up and decided to drive to Diamond lake scenic overview, which we discovered was snowed in as well. Figured might as well go to the final entrance or Crater Lake because we'd put in so much effort and we made it, after 25 bucks and a very intense drive we were on the top of the crater. It was very cold and snowy and windy, we were very much not prepared for it, Ar(e) didn't have a good time. The rest of the group found it mindboggling, we talked about the history of the place and took a few dozen photos. No way to hike down but who can do that.

Had meals at TacoBell in Madras, and McD.

Reached California finally at 9.30 in the evening, Crescent CA after As(m) drove us through the dark squiggly way. Chilled at the cold and honestly not exciting beach, ate impossible burger (everybody had impossible burger) at Burger King, and got a room at Motel 6, my first time in a motel. It wasn't bad at all, I could live with that.

I slept on the floor in my sleeping bag because I'd rather have done that than sleep in the unclean bed and also there wasn't enough space, fell asleep to the sound of Seinfeld playing.

Beans egg and roti lunch, trip ahoy!, ruffles snack, chickfile lemonade milkshake, portland dinner donuts, snow, at the Huckleberry Inn [Fri 8]

For lunch I had beans, egg and roti from Trader Joe' so filling and comforting, oof! Good times.

At 2 in the afternoon I was ready to head out, the rest of the team took forever to get ready, particularly Ar(e), and we ended up heading out at 3.30, after filling gas etc. Had ruffles in the car as snacks, and then those sweet popcorns.

Stopped by at a Chik-file outside Seattle I got the lemonade milkshake, I wanted more of the lemonade than the milkshake, so this was the cause of several hours of tummy troubles for me after.

Our trip was delayed by 1.5-2 hours due to Friday traffic and a whole lotta crashes. Dunno what people are doing these days.

Made it to portland for dinner, we got vodoo donuts and then ate at the thai truck in the 'caphill' kinda part of the town, honestly it wasn't the best area though they did have a bunch of cool clubs. Maybe I need to see Portland at daytime to get a better sense of the place.

On our drive from Portland we looked for places to spend for the night and came up with Huckleberry Inn near Government Camp, a town by Mt. Hood. Which was all for the better because soon after we moved Southwards it started raining pretty hard, the raindrops got bigger and bigger, and it started snowing. Harder and harder. We were fortunate to have reached the Inn when we did because we couldn't have made it any further due to the snow.

Got a really really nice suite at the Inn, which was a Ski town -- yes we'd accidentally ended up at a ski resort -- which could hold 7/8 people over two floors. So comfy. We smoked up and slept decently early. It was a joyous night.

Massive mushroom harvest, long chill at the park with the boys and the doggo, dinner, planning [Thu 7]

 In the morning I picked up the mushroom from the block, my first serious intentional harvest in Seattle because the previous round had to be terminated for various reasons. The mushroom harvest was massive, 20 oz in total, way more price effective than buying in the market.

In the afternoon I walked over to Cal Anderson park, ate oranges with Ar(m)s and Ar(y)s, chatted for a couple of hours in the sun, looked at dogs and made plans for the next day. And then Sk arrived with M the dog, we played a bunch more, made more plans, because Sk worked in Cali and lived in Oregon, there was a lot of aligning the plan to be the funnest for the three days we were going to be in our trip.

Had dinner in the evening, don't really remember what it was, but it was pretty filling whatever.

Roti eggs achar lunch, gigglies, walk and picnic in the park, so much eating [Wed 6]

 Lunch was roti eggs and achaar, two rotis and the tj's middle-eastern achaar, it was really good, so simple, I should be eating more of TJ's roti.

In the afternoon Ar(y) came over, we smoked a bunch and got super giggly. Went to TJ's bought a bunch of oranges, various versions of chocolate and walked over to Volunteer park. Ate half of everything on the way, and the rest as a picnic in Volunteer park. It was really nice and relaxing and a long walk, we took the longer way there, through he 15th street.

Lots of eating at the park, walk back, separation around Cal Anderson park Ary went to Aks's, I came home, had dinner, watched tv, wrote a bunch and bedtime it was!

I should be eating more sammiches

 Just realized today I haven't really made solid nice sandwiches with multiple veggies and sauce and proteins and take great pictures, coming up with my own recipes etcetera. Sammies are great because they're easy to make, don't take too many ingredients, are safe and healthy to consume and get done so easily. Plus you don't have to clean too many dishes.

How come have I not been making sandies recently when I've tried naming a great sandwich after myself because I like it so much?!? It's fucked up man, the sammy named after me has been the best sadwich I've eaten, so it was incredibly awesome. Though they disappeared and I have no way to contact them and query about the situation of their instruments and how me and my tea could asssist them even though they're the process.

I should definitely be making and eating more sandwiches.

Who the fuck is traveling so much right now how the effing heck are the flights so expensive

 So forgive me for my temper but I very much want to swear like a lot.

As regular readers of the blog know by now I'll be travelling to the east coast soon and for various reasons hadn't bought the flight tickets yet. I looked up online to acquire them just in case things go back and hollly molllly they're fuckin' expensive! Six hundo bucks or abouts for a 2-way ticket on a shitty airlines, when I've usually paid half as much! Even google says ticket prices are extraordinarily high for flights right now. Who the heck is flying so much to jack up the prices? Is it to do with the Alaska pilot situation? Fuel costs? Pilot shortage generally? Recovery from covid? Summer time and spring break? I dunno but it's so frustrating how expensive the tickets are and even then they're avialable only for the randomest of times, very inconvenient to me, for more amenable times I'd probably have to fork up a lot more.

What the hell is happening, how on earth did the ticket prices get so out of market right now.

15 Random things

1. Bugs, fuckin' bugs, maaan

2. This new trend among the new gen of not wearing bra, specially with tight t-shirts

3. Volcano, the natural structure but also the thing you smoke weed from

4. Itches

5. Ruffles chips

6. Lose lips sink ships

7. Carpal tunnel syndrome

8. Being bummed out for no good reason

9. That one actor from friends who plays Ross's Chinese girlfriend

10. The feeling of finding Seinfeld shorts on youtube not as satisfying as the real thing.

11. Relief that there's at least some good in the world.

12. Sammiches, so many sandwiches!

13."Are you watching your cartoon?" "Yeah I'm looking at your photos"

14. State fairs

15. Resorts, nice fancy resorts

I should definitely acquire more plants in an extralegal manner

 Yes so I acquired all the tools to act like a sketchy character to acquire plants from the parks nearby in a semi-legal manner but never executed the plan that a good director could have turned into a solid heist movie. And then all of a sudden all the equipment and chemicals associated with the heist disappeared from my apartment and only now have I gotten back to regroup.

I should most definitely get myself a lot of mint plants, tulips, ferns, and so many minor plants just out and about, take one among the thousands. And moss, yes I love to see mossy plants and soil. And gotta do that right away. What else are those long walks I've been taking recently for, really?

It's time to deep-clean my apartment again

 So yeah the gnats aren't a hundred percent gone but I've been seeing them a lot less, still should do a final round of de-gnatting for a couple of days and end that pest forever. Haven't vacuumed in like two weeks because A took the vacuum (and I'm told he's not used it) so gotta get to that, and then steam the floor and the carpet. I've been seeing these thicc ass ants around the apartment, I'm guessing something or other is not completely sealed and they're feeding off of that, maybe even trash, so after cleaning over there, the pest problem is going to be manageable (it is already, I just want to pre-empt this) and then my apartment is going to be clean and shiny, cleanly mopped and-vacummed and  great-smelling.

Happy New Year 2079 erryone

Happy New Year 2079 BS everybody, all my regular and not-so-regular readers. May this new year bring you all the happiness and peace and prosperity you desire, and may you continue to thrive even greatly. Man time passes quick, the numbers are far too large, I feel like we're just barely beyond the mid-to-early 2060's but here we are.

Live on, brothers and sisters!

Another post on political situation in Eastern Europe

 So yeah the Ukr-Rus situation, awful awful situation huh, nobody ever wins a war like this but Ukr is hurting particularly badly, and Rus is getting its ass kicked and just embarrassing itself like a drunk person at a karaoke bar who thinks they're doing oh soo sooo good actually better than they thought they would but they're just too drunk on something (power or booze) to realize nah that's just a delusion because nobody is brave enough to tell them what's happening forrealz.

Predictions i've made, statements I've given in previous posts. Here I'll add that after the loss of a serious warship the pressure is going to be on to show some real progress, and the ukr's will have added drive and courage to go all-in. A ceasefire is less likely to come by. But also like somebody said online, this is what all of American weapons were designed for, and unless Americans want to spill their own blood in theater of war with Russia at some point, they should arm Ukr's to the teeth and pre-defeat Rus, render them incapable of fighting a future conventional war. Or an unconventional war like the Rus have begun to prefer. They're going to lose either way.

I should try a sidegig to keep myself busy

 My problem isn't that I don't have enough time, it's that I have too much free time so I'm not compelled to organize what I do have in proper manner, as a result of which I'm losing out on most if not all the spare time because I waste it away on watching some stupid youtube videos or napping or consuming junk food of information, shit that makes me drowsy and feel gross and doesn't add anything to my aims and goals.

What I need is a sidegig to keep myself busy, something I could commit to for an hour or two every day, even on the weekends with some flexibility. That way there'd be some side money I'd feel wasting away but I'd be learning new skills, meeting new people and expanding the horizon of the possible jobs I'd want to do in the future.

Or like, I guess I could just take courses in-person and get a second master's degree I guess. That would be way more useful for my career. Actually I just completely convinced myself that, it's going to be my short term plan. Let's goooo.

Poem about something or other

This ain't about this
And it ain't about that,
The poem I write
Is about you,
You know that right?

But sometimes, it is
Neither here, nor there
Just something on the page
To avoid the writer's crisis
Some bullshit, by my fingers
Without them it feels like
I'm bitten by sharp stingers.

And when I'm outta ideas
I nap, and sleep
And gloom and doom
With no intention of
Leaving my room
The blog remains barren
Unloved and unwritten
I come back two days later
And shit out words
Like I'm being chased by an alligator.

If I don't optimize my kefir workflow I'm screwed

 Here's the deal: milk kefir needs to be processed every day or shit gets fucked up. And processing it takes 15-30 minutes daily, probably on the longer side. And I don't really consume it that much to justify all that time spent. And then there's so much freaking cleanup after that. Plus my kitchen counter looks like somebody did hella lotta blow on it after I'm done.

I remember kefir processing used to take me forever and then I optimized the workflow, the trick was to use ladles instead of pouring liquids container-to-container. I have no doubt I can optimize kefir too.

The problem with kefir is as follows: I get chunky kefir. The chunks need proper filtering or else I'm left with just water and milky chunks. Which honestly wouldn't be the end of the world, except my stupid kefir grains are held up in the protein/fat blob too. SO every goddamn day is a search in the literal haystack for my precious grains.

I've identified a couple of possible solutions to this issue. One is to pre-emptively strain it, before the milk curd and liquid separates. That way grain extraction is easy. And then leave it out in the warm to process for another 12-24 hours. Potential problem is it may not go as desired, and still be tricky after doing it.

Second solution is to heat up milk right after getting it from the store, reduce it and keep it. That way the milk is thicker (maybe I could add evaporated milk to it too) and hopefully the kefir is consistently thicker so it doesn't separate. Potential issue, this may not work, though boiling isn't a big hassle so that's a plus point.

Third solution is to use the more expensive milk, the sort that I did the first two rounds with, so it'll come up thicker naturally without having to reduce milk. Problem is, I don't know if it was the milk that got me thicc results, so it's untested. And second it turns out to be so expensive, I might as well buy from the store. Though maybe because I won't be eating so often, this won't be an issue anymore.

So many things to consider.

Trouble in Nepal

 So there's trouble brewing in Nepal. The balance of payment deficit has been the largest it's ever been. Remittance has been going down. Tourism income has been heading dangerously towards zero. Price of fuel has gone up like crazy. Inflation is in double digits. The country's foreign reserves are draining. The government has stopped the imports of everything but the most basic necessary items. Those heading out of the country are given extremely limited currency, even for their travels to expensive western countries.

It's wild, I'm afraid about what the short and middle term future holds for the country, genuinely worried about the economic implosion like Sri Lanka. There's hope but hope only hurts you more. Ugh. What. To. Do.

What's the matter with Seattle weather right now?

 Just as I thought things had stabilized, that Seattle weather was quite nice and pleasant all things considered and so what if it's a bit gloomy once in a while it's such a beautiful place, you can go about having fun then, no problems, Seattle's weather decides to disappoint me. It rained in the Eastside over the weekend apparently, temperatures in downtown proper were near freezing, and this entire week has been incredibly unbelievably cold, barely any sun and temperatures in the low to mid thirties. I've had to turn on the heat in the apartment after like two months. And then the walks have been so much rarer because who the heck wants to head out in this drizzling freezing mess of weather? Aka things are not-so-good Which means I'll need to adjust to it ugh and I don't like doing that, I'd very much want to avoid that thank you very much. But here we are, with limited options and the weather will be like this for the next ten days, what a freaking bummer.

Why won't Oregon let the local drivers fill their own gas, but only the rurals

 We know New Jersey doesn't let drivers fill their own gas, all the stations must be served by attendants. This goes so far that I know people who're well into their mid/late twenties who don't know how to fill gas because they've always been served by attendants.

What I discovered during the California trip is that Oregon works the same way. Because of old laws that assumed regular drivers didn't know how to deal with dangerous substances such as petrol. Buut buut buut there's a catch. In the cities and urban areas, self-service is allowed. It's only in the rural parts where you absolutely need attendants. Which makes me wonder, does the state of Oregon believe that the rurals are somehow stupider or less competent than the urban dwellers, such that they cannot be trusted with filling their own gas but urbans can?

You think with hollywood and american tv shows etc, the country would be all the same but discovering these little differences and the cultural attitudes towards those is a surprising revelation.

Did we get ripped off at a random gas station in Oregon near Mt. Hood? You decide!

 This is what happened. We drove to Mt Hood to spend the night there at what happened to be a ski resort without realizing that the place was hella cold and snowy. And that they were expecting heavy snow the night we drove up there. And the snow fell and we almost got snowed in.

But that's not important because we did NOT get snowed in. We used the carpets below the seats to get the parked car out of the parking lot (greater friction, I think that's how it works). The road was hella slippery though, and so very dangerous. We saw somebody else putting chains on their tire so we figured we'd drive to the nearby gas station and get some ourselves.

The person in there took forever to find the winter chains for our tires. And then said they didn't have any. And then spent 15 other minutes to do it again. Something was happening. And then this random dude comes in and says it's really really scary out there, and three cars coming in from Portland had gotten into crashes because they weren't prepared. And then the guy, our guy, says oops we definitely don't have chains for your size, they'd be 40 bucks, but we do have tire socks but they cost 120 buckaroos.

Not like we had an option, so we bought those, put them on our tires in a matter of few short minutes, and went our way.

But it did feel like a bit more than co-incidence that a random guy comes riiight just in when they don't find our chain size. And then suggests we buy the most expensive freakin' option. So on and on and on.

The thing is, though, if they didn't want to sell, they didn't want to sell. And they coulda' charged us $100 for the snow chains for all we'd know and we'd be none the wiser. And it's not like they're getting commissions for the socks either, I doubt if they own the place to begin with. So why would they try to rip us off anyway.

Still the thing felt kinda slimy, I don't know.

Did we get ripped off? You decide! Comment below!

Crater lake is an incredible proof of nature's unyielding power

We went to the Crater Lake on Saturday, on our trip down to California.

It was a bit of an adventure, after driving forever we were so close to the entrance of the lake and we thought we'd finally made it until we saw this 2-foot pile of unplowed snow on the road and realized the entrance was closed due to heavy snowfall from the day before. So we tried another entrance, until we discovered we didn't have enough petrol to return. So we went back all the way, to the diamond lake gas station, and decided we'd settle down with Diamond lake. Drove to a scenic overview for the lake and discovered yep it was closed too due to heavy snow. After having spent so much time trying to figure an entry to the lake, we figured we might as well go all-in, and drove toward the South entrance, the main one, a detour of potentially 1.5 hours for no good reason. And it worked! We saw the crater lake.

It is really mindblowing. It was a volcano 8000 years ago that blew its top and was filled by snowmelt. It's massive, humongous, almost unimaginably large. Makes one realize how massive the volcano must have been, and how awe-inspiring the power of nature is.

So freakin' beautiful. It was very very very cold, 2-3 feet of snow on the banks, and windy, so we didn't spend a whole lotta time in there, just took a few photos. Of course we had no chance to walk down to the lake due to the snow.

Incredible. I'm going to go there again, in the summer when there's no snow, and walk down to the lake.

So many new things to do in the 101, I'll be back to that

Back from the California trip, did I mention that last week, I think I did? Here's a bunch of things I discovered that we'd want to do in the future.

1. Sand Duning in ATV's

There's this place by the 101 where you can rent ATV's and ride around on the massive sand dunes. They also have a proper swimming pool, sauna, a resort and all the regular amenities. Might be fun to chill for a day or two.

2. Snow mobiling

The Diamond Lake Resort apparently has 350 miles of properly curated snow trails for snowmobiling. In addition to being a resort, obviously. I'd want to do that some time!

3. Tiger reserve

Apparently there's a tiger reserve in Western Oregon, interesting, I'd sure want to go there for a safari or whatever, to make sure the creatures are treated well if nothing else.

4. Game reserve

I don't approve of privately owned game reserves, wild vicious animals need to be given fair chance if you're going to hunt them, hand them a high-caliber rifle and teach them to hunt humans to even things out and maybe then I'd consider even going there. But still, it was interesting to see that there were game reserves around.

5. Skii resorts literally everywhere

We accidentally ended up at a ski town on Mt. Hood on our way to California and almost got stranded in a snowstorm. It was hilarious, we were almost forced to spend the weekend skiing on one of the better mountains in the area instead of swimming in Californian beaches.

6. Amazing resorts by the road

You know how there's like some really great resorts in Nepal by the highway? Well it seems a lot of them have been inspired by the sort of resorts they have in the 101. Really fancy resorts where you spend the weekend doing nothing but chilling. I'd like to do that some day!