Nine careers that are most definitely NOT for me

1. Adult video performer, because I'm not much of a performer and it's way to hard of a work for me heh
   
   
2. A submariner, because I would keep farting all the time and everybody would so fucking hate me already.
   
   
3. A fighter-jet pilot because I'd keep bailing out of the plane and losing those goddamed expensive machines that nobody could find after it crashed (relevant heh heh)
   
   
4. A soldier, because I don't want to die
   
   
5. A fluffer, all the hard work of a adult video performer, but without the glory
   
   
6. Astronaut: too much commitment man!
   
   
7. Lion wrangler: too dangerous, i'm not that into Lions, and the circus industry is dying anyway so I'd always be worrying about job security.
   
   
8. Museum security guard. Nahhh, I'd be too tempted.
   
   
9. shit collector: dirty job, not enough money OR recognition. Need at least one there!