Goverment orders bank CEO's to commit Seppuko so their lives can be simpler

April 10. Post Report.

The Central Bank's officials have instructed private bank CEO's to stop lending money to the general public because they don't know shit and keep buying stuff from foreign countries, sources claim. In a meeting that was supposed to be private and not be communicated to the media, the officials are said to have communicated that the country's balance of payment has turned dangerously negative due to the idiotic public buying goods and services for everyday lives as nothing fucking gets made in this country and that could cause a currency crisis in the foreseeable future. To avoid such crisis, the CEO's were instructed to not give money to the public under any circumstances, not even their own money, even though giving money to the public is one of the very few things banks do and without that banking, which is one of the largest sector of the otherwise struggling economy, could go out of business.

The government officials are also reported to have ordered to dismantle all the hydropower plants, destroy the roads, and stop giving money to the security services and government employees because what does it matter anymore, nobody seems to have any good sense, might as well go all-in on self-destruction at this point.