Q: Is it true the Ye Olde Inne & Taverne is occupied by ghosts and other spirits?
A: Absolutely. There are multitude of otherwordly beings occupying the Inne. However that should be of no concern during your trip because they have come to an agreement with the authorities of the place to not harm or hurt the patrons in any way. This is the ideal opportunity for you to feel and communicate with spirits.
Q: My grandmother, who died thirty-two years ago was very dear to my heart. She also happened to own a significant pile of gold whose whereabouts have been unknown since her untimely death. Can I ask the spirits to communicate with my family to find out the secret of where it is hidden?
A: The Inne & Taverne only co-ordinates everyday visitations and hauntings by the ghosts, it does not deal with matters legal and those relating to finance. However we do provide a consultation service on behalf of the spirits who can guide you through difficult times and attempt to establish channels with your near and dear ones. Remember however that we take absolutely no responsibility on the quality of the advice, and our consulting fee is based not on outcome but on the amount of time you spend on the Ouija boards and other means to communicate with the departed souls. Still most of our patrons find that communicating with those gone by helps give them a perspective and come to solutions of their problems. It might be worth the effort, and we have hundreds of satisfied customers vouching for the spiritual consulting service.
Q: I like ghost stories and scary movies. I enjoy being afraid of the supernatural. This whole schtick seems to controlled and contrived, it doesn't feel like an authentic experience to me at all. Is there something in your resort that I might be able to have fun with.
A: Of course! While we do offer controlled hauntings and planned otherwordly communications, we have several dwellings off-campus that have uncontrolled and uncivilized hauntings if that is more to your liking. However we must warn you that you must sign away a small booklet worth of waivers signing off our our liability shall any harm of ill-will befall you. The death rates among our guests on those sites have fallen significantly in recent years, but to make up for that the number of entities haunting has gone down. The spirits of other guests are particularly mean-spirited and do not maintain a co-ordial relationship with our living guests. Additionally, some of the ethereal presence there absolutely refuses to believe that they are dead and pretend that it's the guests who are ghosts, much like that movie where the protagonists realizes in the end he's been dead all along except they never see it that way, and may make you feel uncomfortable about your own existential identity. So we recommend against such trips, and we to require pre-payment for all the services you will be using for your stay on such sites. However, the final choice is yours to make.
Q: Any famous ghosts or spirits I would know from movies or shows make an appearance?
A: There are guest performers visiting a few times a year but those days are sold out several months in advance. It is often the case however that ghosts will be visiting the area to see their friends or to have fun and they're often famous and known by experts in various subfields so if you are an archaeologist or a historian or into literature it's quite likely you'll find someone you've heard of and even respect. The more recent performers and popular figures are harder to come by since they're busy performing in larger occasions, but depending on their availability and your willingness to part with the moolah, special appearances could most certainly be arranged.
Q: Is this all a hoax or what? I know ghosts aren't real, you are just scamming stupid people of their money, how dare you!
A: Thank you for your question!
We understand your skepticism and concern for protecting easily-fooled people. We assure you however that these are no lies or hoaxes, everything we've said on this page is true as the sun. If you're not satisfied, make a two-day reservation with us and tell the receptionist you're one of the skeptics. We guarantee you that if the supernatural activities happening in and around our campus don't scare the bejeesus out of you and make you want to go to your mommy and cry, we will refund you for your stay, and by you a ticket back home! Don't forget though, that if you lie to us, and pretend to be a skeptic to take advantage of this offer, we'll make sure the spirits are nearby to you for the rest of your existence and will incessantly haunt you unt
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