My shopping list of 8 insaneee offers

1. Baby shoe, used once, that's on insane discount.
2. The never opened, slightly stained parachutes on sale, killing it with those discounts I'm finding. Hope it works!
3. Neverused rifle that someone dropped once and they're selling for a massive markdown. Starting to get suspicious now hmm.
4. The 'limited-time' offer for an insanely palatial sandcastle, hmmm.
5. "Reading for Dummies", they're giving it practically for free! Dunno if I'm gonna read it, too good of a deal to pass on though.
6. High school graduation gown, 'maternity size' they say. It's an amazing deal, could make two dozen washclothes out of it probably.
7. A wedding ring that's 99% off it's regular price, the lady's using the money to buy a new cat. Gonna pawn it on craigslist.
8. "Insane insurance policy they say", quite cheap too, dunno if 365 apples spread over the year is good for everything though.