Q&A with Batman for the new era

Can you fly?

Well, if you're imagining superman then no. I'm not a bird, I'm not a plane, I'm certainly no spiderman. If you're more practical however and are thinking certain species of lemur or certain kinds of 'flying' squirrel that don't actually fly but get into the air and can glide for really long distances, you're in the right direction. Think more kangaroo, less space shuttle.

 

Do you have heat or x-ray vision?

Strictly speaking, no. However, I can use my intellect which is right behind the eyes that could potentially create heat or x-ray vision, to unravel things so you could take that as a metaphorical x-ray, and I can certainly set things to fire so indirectly it wouldn't be totally wrong to say I have 'heating vision', except my hands and brain do the most work.

 

Can you dodge bullets, can you withstand explosions, can you take in all the punches?
 

I will say this: dodging bullets requires a lot of practice of a specific kind, even if you do have superhuman agility, and considering a super-being could use their precious training time in so many other things, it's not a good use of limited resources. Sure, it looks cool on film but think about the practicalities, do you really want to spend two days every day for a year just so you can wait for a villain to shoot at you to dodge a couple of bullets which by the way no one will see because there's no high-speed cameras to keep track of your awesome abilities.

In terms of withstanding explosions I want to say a qualified yes. I have created materials and equipment that will protect me from directly being shot at, or being in the eye of a pretty powerful conventional explosion. Not that I'm invulnerable, everything has a cost and I've set the abilities of my toolsets to account for my likeliest foes and their toolsets... It's just that a power-enough entity will not attack be with a gun or a bomb anyway so I haven't had to invest in it.

Punches, I can take all of them. Human or superhuman. I have extensive training in several different martial arts, so it's quite easy for me to absorb the energy in a direct physical attack, and rechannel it back to them. It's one of those techniques you learn pretty early on, all about posture and flexibility and control. 

Is it true the villains exist only because you do, and if you went away they would too?

There has been a school of thought, I will admit, that has been gaining more popularity. It claims that my mere existence has created a sort of 'parallel evolution' in the society where villains grow only to thwart me. They go on to claim that without me as the protector of the night, there would be no massive destruction and villainy, only low-level crimes as in every other city in the world. I do not subscribe to this worldview, due to lack of proper evidence. You can go around claiming anything about anything, and you're not going to be taken seriously if you don't provide solid direct evidence. All they have is third-hand circumstantial evidence. Having said that, if anyone can conclusively prove the theory to be true, I'm willing to disband my uhh hobby for the betterment of the world. I would of course need to check conflict of interests with the researchers because I know my nemeses have been pouring a lot of money into sociological research as of late.