SO I was gone for a couple of days... the posts here were even lazier than they usually are and there was complete silence posting wise for about three days. The reason is that I was crashing a friends' place, and got too distracted. Missed my laptop missed my bed missed my routine. As a result everything got out of whack. Now I'm back and we'll be back to our normal shit programming!
I liked to think -- liked, past tense -- that if income were no constraint I'd be an explorer, a learner, walking about learning things writing novels talking to people having fun. My unofficial goal in life was to become a househusband, with a maid, so I could be sipping margaritas and going to day parties with my buds. It'd be so much fun, I'd learn so much, so much time for my personal endeavors!
As I discover myself I've realized that 'structure and discipline' are not just general buzzwords they're particularly important to me. The busier I'm with everything, the more productive I am. The more 'fluid' my time is, the less I get done. But no, you might argue, you're thinking resting doing creative things. Nope, not at all. The most restful and peaceful I've been have been when I'm very busy. It's the most unproductive and empty days that have also been the worst sleep-wise.
And the past week was a perfect measurement of that. I like to think I don't miss my bed, the couch is fine, I can live anywhere on a backpack. And on the most basic level it's true I will still breathe my blood pressure doesn't go crazy without my bed or laptop or fucking phone -- I'm mad at a phone for a totally unrelated reason, more on that later in a different post. But. That means I'm not doing the things I want to do, I should be doing. End up not going on walks, even when my hosts are, don't write anything even when there's ample time to, don't get much work done at work even though there's nothing stopping me from doing it. The distractions exist only inasmuch as I allow them to. And hooo boyy there's no self-control.
Soo. Yeah I miss my bed and my room and my schedule that i've put a lot of hard work towards. This means that if I want to go crash at my friends' I should be doing that for shorter period of times, and more often to make up for that. The weekends are a total waste writing wise anyway so weekends are probably the perfect time for that.
In any case, I'm back and things will be great. The last three or four posts are just dummied up, I intend to fill them in the coming days. And then there's three days' worth of posts to write. It'll get done because I'm back in my jam.
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