AKS comes in, college chats, visiting Chef store, disappopintment, rice and veggies meal, Bombay burger dinner with WC, latenight hangs, midnight walk, little sleep [Sat 30]

I'm writing this on the evening of Monday, because the weekend went by so quick as I socialized with friends and folks I care about!

In the morning AKS(y) came in, it was a bit of a surprise because I didn't get a heads up. We discussed his college journey and how the grad school is going.

After a short nap and AKS getting lunch, we drove to Chef' Store, I was excited because it's a restaurant supply store that has so many items for super cheap. On the plus side, there's many many things I could buy at a very reasonable rate including sweet glutinous rice dozens of kgs of onions and so forth. On the flip side, there wasn't much for me to buy, and in general I prefer Costco over the place, by quite a lot more.

By the time we drove back I was starving, so I got trader Joe's veggie pulao with four spoonfuls of remaining rice, plus some veggies.

Couple of hours later, went to Bombay Burger for dinner with WC. Got Indian burger as standard, the bill for the two of us was 30 bucks, highly reasonable! WC and I came back to our apartment and talked about world, life, religion, spirituality, professionalism, technology and industrial engineering. AKS(y) joined us in a bit as well, he had gone out. Hung out with WC till 11, which was the longest I've hung out with him in Seattle.

After WC left, I changed my clothes and went on a walk, at 11. It was fun.

Got back a bit after midnight, couldn't go to sleep, so talked to friends in Nepal until the wee hours of the morning.

Other things

 Lets clean up the place
and get a new story started
clear out the dishes
and tuck the knick-knacks in there
freshen up the place with candles
and get the windows to open
dust the tv and the workspace
vacuum the floor
and clean the carpet,
let's get it ready
for the new new guests
lets work the place
and get things going.

The need to live my a timetable, aka I'm really bad at dealing with change

I really really need to live my timetables, schedules and timeboxed situation because otherwise my life is generally a mess. The reason, it turns out, is that I'm really bad at dealing with change. I didn't realize that earlier because there was nothing constant in life that it appeared life was always like this and it was my personal issues that held me from reaching to the stars but no if I'm all settled down and in my groove I can do great things done, with much push and perseverance and momentum. But that all breaks down when I have to disrupt my life even a little bit. Like visiting a friend's place, or hosting somebody in my place for more than a couple of days.

That make the two core issues I have identified at two: I have issues with anxiety, and I have problems dealing with change well. If I can just learn to adapt to changing circumstances, and keep my discipline in order throughout, I'm as good as a king. And for that I need a timetable, a checklist, and timebox everything. In other words, the way to deal with change is to approach it from an angle of your rituals, be disciplined despite things that have messed up outside your locus of control.

Interesting self-realizations!

Review: Olmsted restaurant

I went to Olmstead restaurant over the weekend with some friends, for lunch. I'd been there earlier for drinks with friends and Sb about two years ago, and it was a pleasant callback to be back there for brunch.

Quick readouts: entrees were 17 bucks, not too bad but we ended up paying 27 per person, possibly because we split the entire checks. The fries were terrible, the ambiance was great, the vegetarian fried halloumi sandwich was pretty good. The food was not remarkable, but it was pretty decent.

The vibe is chill, I like it more in the evenings. The fries were actually quite bad to mess my mood a little bit.

6/10, but I'd still go there, avoid the fries and get homestyle fries instead.

Friends are getting 'proper married' now

It'll be quick because it's a terrible topic to be writing on and I'd rather not have this discussed anywhere but things have brought us to this point and it'll be silly to not mention it at all, pretending all is well.

Several of my couple friends who have been married for couple of years at this point are being convinced...aggressively debated upon, to be 'wed' properly, with hotel parties and traditional marriage with pandit and everything. That's something they didn't want to do but are doing anyway. It's the case with at least three or four of my couple friends. Tricky times for them.

Always happy to conspire, inspire and perspire to get things in place and avoid the coerced traditional marriage and set things straight.

Walk to work and morning call, many meetings, rice and tarkari lunch, evening walk, age of empires in the evening, looking at old photos of myself, late to bed [Fri 29]

Walked to work in the morning, again taking a phonecall across the pond. Love these walks to work because they're the best time to optimize my time.

Had several meetings at work and backbit people at work, also talked on phone while there. Left work pretty early because I was not feeling it.

Took the train back home, and had rice and tofu-eggplant for lunch.

Went out on a dark evening walk, and played age of empires later.

Spent the evening looking at old photos of myself and wondering how I have a different look in each and every one of them, it's nice to send photos to people every so often and see what they looked like too.

Went to bed at 2 in the evening because I was busy with everything else and had evening kombucha.

What is this poem?

What is this...
thing, is it a poem even,
is it some nonsense
or really crappy poem?
what's the goal even
and where is this going,
do I not have better things
than to keep trying
writing crappy poems,
half-hearted and quick
oh silly me, this is hard
I can't write it down
as quick as I can,
it's of no help,
this is all no good
maybe I should try doing
something I can do well too.
It is fine, I'll be fine
and the fly flying by
won't be a bother.
lets get this finished!

Cafe Selam Ethiopian restaurant: a review

I had takeout food from cafe Selam the ethiopian restaurant yesterday and today (Sun-Mon). Quick review.

My allergy/intolerance to the Ethiopian dinner bread is over. The food was well-spiced, good textured, the breads were spongy and not overly sour, something tht I had problem with ethiopian restaurants in the East coast. Love the veggies that came in, and the spiced injera that was hot and crispy to come. Even leftovers were so very yummy.

I'd rather get a takeout from here than from some crappy third-rate faux-mexican restaurant near my home which looks quite dirty.

8.5/10, recommend it pretty highly.

I'm becoming increasingly social

Most of my recent weekends have been eventful, in that I have 'one' event a weekend. Hang out with one group of friends, or go on one hiking trip, or go to one festival, or one dance outing, and so forth.

This weekend was wild though, since I did like six different things.

Hung out with AK, and went to Chef Store, met WC, hung out with Nepali couples gang, hung out with P bro, and then hosted Sk (happening right now, so a bit of a future writing here). And then talked to friends and family on the phone for dozens of hours.

So. Very. Eventful.

I've had trouble in Seattle to gather up the emotional energy to hang out with people and host people at my place, but now it seems things are changing and I'm eventually gathering emotional and social momentum.

Hurray, hurray!

Asian fusion taco yum yum yum

My new quick meal, Asian fusion taco

Pan ma trader Joe's ko 2 hash browns ra 1 egg fry garne

Heat the hash browns until they're alik crispy. Remove the egg and put trader Joe's scallion pancake on the pan. Hash browns stay on the pan. Once both sides of scallion pancake are cooked, nikaalne.

Scallion pancake ma first goes Chinese crispy chilli flakes, then ketchup, then Asian store ko fermented mustard, then green onions, then egg, then hash browns. Optional chai mozzarella, melted partly, bhitra tira.

Ani tacos jasari khaane

Walk to the office, phone talk and walk, ceiling keeps dripping, trainride home, rice and egg-plant tofu with blackeyed peas for lunch, afternoon walk and sister talk, asian fusion taco dinner, evening reads and write [Thu 28]

Took a nice long shower in the morning, and then headed to work, talking to Ak, Work was as usual, drank like four cups of tea and attended a couple of meetings, finally figured out the right floor with the right connectors so I can use their screens, but still not their keyboards and mice.

Got home on the train in the rain because I didn't want to get wet in the heavy rainfall.

Ceiling was dripping once again even though the building management said it had been been fixed so contacted them to show the terrible building situation. Spent a good part of the day mopping and dumping the large bowls.

For lunch I had rice with eggplant and tofu veggies, plus blackeyed peas. Went on afternoon walk and talked to sister in NL on the phone. What a great use of the walk time!

Had the asian fusion tacos for dinner that I've written about in the past, yum yum, good times, I'm great at inventing these snack-like dishes.

Read a bunch of Carole Satyamurthi's Ramayana, and a couple of really good books in the evening, wrote a bit, and went to bed.

I made use of the spoiling vegetables at Hau Hau, also I know why they're so cheap now

I went to Hau Hau last week and bought some really cheap uhhh affordable vegetables. I was afraid they'd go bad soon, in a day or two, if I didn't make use of them on time so I cooked them immediately. They were fantastic, what a great investment. For five bucks of total raw materials, I made restaurant-quality veggies that would last me for 6 or seven meals. For less than a buck a meal, it's such a great deal. Yummy, warm, nourishing. Makes me feel good about my cooking prowess.

The reason those vegetables are so cheap is that they're on the point of going bad, but not yet, not a big deal if you're going to cook it for the next deal, or cook it in 24 hours. They don't preserve well but when cooked immediately, who even cares, they're processed perfectly and only good things happen.

I bought eggplants, cucumbers and plantains like that and they have been perfect!

Seventeen things that are great

1. Crispy Settle weather
   
   
2. Hanging out with couple friends, specially new ones
   
   
3. Hosting friends at your place
   
   
4. New love
   
   
5. Foggy cold weather, sexy sexy weather
   
   
6. Retail therapy
   
   
7. Friends who will do great favors for you
   
   
8. Talking to your therapist
   
   
9. Living by yourself in your comfortable apartment
   
   
10. Going on a journey, often a challenging one, both literally and one of personal learning
    
    
11. Getting unexpected wins
    
    
12. Reading on a cold cloudy day under the covers
    
    
13. Popcorn at home
    
    
14. Warm, filling food and soups in cold weather
    
    
15. A supportive community of caring friends and family
    
    
16. Good surprises!
    
    
17. The potential for future success
    
    

I'm not intolerant to Teff anymore

It's one of those silly little realizations that doesn't really matter until it does.

For a couple of years I was the biggest fan of the Ethopian bread injera. Then all of a sudden, sometime in 2017 I found that every time I consumed the delicacy, made from Teff grain flour I'd get an upset stomach. Without a skip. Clearly there was something in my body that was rejecting the cereal grain. I'd grown intolerant to it and couldn't eat it. That as the end of the ethopian-food journey for me and I hadn't eaten Injera until...yesterday.

Had to eat it yesterday because I showed up at P's place and he'd ordered the bread for the group and I didn't want to appear rude so I tried a few respectable bites. And then brought the leftovers in my place, and had some more. My tummy was stable still. Nothing messed my tummy. Perhaps it was a coincidence all those times? Or maybe I've recovered.

Regardless I can eat Injera and am a fan of Teff now, back to being on that ship.

Hurray!

Man, holiday-time tickets are willlld

I've been looking to buy holiday tickets to travel to family during the holidays and maaan they are crazyily insanely expensive. Unreasonably pricey, unbelievably moolahed. Not great. Like I've bought tickets at 70% of those prices at the very most, and now I'll be 50% more. It's an insane situation and I'd hoped to not find myself here, but due to my pushing away of decisionmaking to the very last moment, and not being able to force decisions on other people, whose choices my ticket-buying is dependent on, and it's all so ugh.

Now it's not a good feeling, but it's the holidays and one must find themselves near friends and family during times of celebration.

Final rice and gundruk for lunch, suddenly motivated, hau hau groceries, so may foods, eggplant and tofu tarkari with jasmine rice for dinner, evening writing [Wed 27]

I'm writing this the Monday after because I was socially active, had a guest over (AK) over the weekend, and then spent inordinate amount of time talking to friends across the ocean.

For lunch I had the final round of rice and gundruk that I'd made the weekend before.

During the day I felt a sudden pang of motivation, which led me to walk to Hau Hau market and buy a tonne of fresh veggies there. SO many meals for thirty bucks, such a good deal.

The deal with buying cheap groceries at Hau Hau is you need to cook your purchases on the same day,or the day after or they go bad. Bought tmaarind syrup and some berry powder to use for interesting new dishes.

For evening I made mapo tofu (with the mapo tofu mix) with eggplant. The trick to cooking good eggplants, it turns out, is to not cook them to the point of liquefaction.

Made jasmine rice in the cooker, and ate it with the tofu-eggplant curry. yum yum yum. So satisfying, so filling so yummy. Made me realize the benefits of jasmine rice over basmati.

Wrote a bunch in the evening as well.

And then Seatte got 'real' rain and thunder

It was then,
the final week of September
when the City of Seatttle
got real rain
and thunder.

The rains were heavy
the winds quite fierce
cars were few and in-between
and foot-walkers scarce,
they found it charming
at first
to get rains so heavy
in Seattle town
but the water poured
over and over, down and down
and very soon
the townspeople
weren't happy anymore.

But over the weekend
the clouds cleared
The sun shone bright
with warmth, full of might
the air was crisp
and families out and about,
folks in Seattle
happy to have experienced
a bout of
real rain and thunder.

the unpaid bill situation is really getting under my skin

If I've already written about this so be it because it's creating an inordinate amount of emotional stress for me and you know what, I don't need to deal with this at all.

The situation in short is as follows: I'm on hold for 550 bucks of somebody else's utility bills, and I need to get it cleared with the utility company. I'm not sure if the utility company is going to go along with my claim, and it'd be a cause of great concern to me if I was liable for that amount personally, specially since I didn't fucking use that thing.

But one step at a time, I need to submit the claim and the supporting documentation to the utility company and have them come with a decision. It's okay, take a long breath, take a long breath, it'll be fine. I'm hella stressed out and annoyed, but that problem is not going to be solved if I'm just collapsing out of stress.

Houseguests galore and overload

I'll make it quick and painless.

I like hosting people for meals, I love having people crash at my place. I have spent days and days and months at other people's places, chilling and crashing for no apparent reason. Sleepovers are my idea of a great fuckin' weekend, as adults it's as close as we can get to that sense of childlike wonder.

What I am having less great of time accepting and coming to terms with is people coming to crash with me with zero-day notices, or letting me know they'll be staying with me for an indeterminate amount of time at a day or two's notice, and having multiple people staying over at the same time, or having to host people with little notice one after another. At that point it feels like I'm running a dharmashala rather than having friends over, specially when there's little assistance with housework or  support of the host in any other way.

Now to get to that pile of dishes on the kitchen sink, a big portion of which I didn't generate.

Secret secrets

Secret secrets are so fun
when secret secrets
confuse everyone
secrets secrets are great
when you get to fool others
with your mate.

Conspiracies are so great
when they're not about overthrowing
the government,
when they're low-key playful
and now about getting everyone fearful.

PB & honey sandwich for lunch, super rainy day, work until lake, early dinner (bhat-gundruk), late evening walk, age of empires play [Tue 26]

Work was busy and relaxed.

Had peanut butter and honey with seedy bread for lunch.

It rained all day long, spent time replacing bowls and mopping floor all day long, didn't go to work because of that.

Worked until 3 in the afternoon, chilled around, had bhat and gundruk for dinner, went to Volunteer park (3 rounds) pretty late. Played age of empires and wrote a bunch in the evening.

Important week ahead in terms of work and getting personal matters in place

This is an important week for me for various reasons.

First, the manager at work is helping me sort out some bureaucratic situation he offered to fix, and if that works out my life will be much much easier, I'll fly like a bird.

Second (and third) Ak is working on something interesting today, and three days from now on, and if they both work out, I'll also benefit significantly from the positive outcomes of the work put in.

Fourth, I need to fix the utilities unpaid situation from Boston fixed and I'll do it this week (unpaid bills that weren't mine but charged to me)

And so on.

List of ten warm things I want to be drinking this winter

1.  Tongba, because homemade and interesting
   
   
2. Costco apple cider (powder), like from last season
   
   
3. Prepared ginger drink with milk pwder
   
   
4. Sleepytime tea
   
   
5. Kombucha, spicy ones
   
   
6. Hot and sour soup
   
   
7. Gundruk, sinki and other Nepali ferments for winter
   
   
8. love?
   
   
9. chowder
   
   
10. kava!
    

Spicy sour meal on a cold rainy fall night

A bowl of warm sour gundruk
Heating up the outside
and oh the insides too
on a rainy fall night
cool dark mysterious
oh but so comforting
with a large bowl
of jasmine rice, sticky
and filling
as the rain patters
outside my window
and I talk
to near and dear ones,
Is this not ecstasy,
is this not happiness?

My ceiling is leaking, and I spent the day putting buckets and mopping floors

My apartment ceiling is fucked. It's been leaking for the last four days, in multiple places, and I have run out of buckets and bowls to put under the ceiling. I spent the last three days changing the buckets and mopping the floor from the splashing water.

A repairman came in yesterday to look at the scope of the damage, and a roofer showed up earlier today to look how far the damage was from the front of the building so that he could replace...certain parts of the roof.

Everytime it rains, it starts dripping, I'm living in fear because if I hadn't been around when the drips had begun, my apartment would be a total pool within a couple of hours. It was a matter of luck that I happened to be home when the leakage started.

It's a whole big mess, nobody should have to deal with it.

Here's to hoping things get sorted out soon.

Three meals a day because I'm insanely hungry...TJ's biryani, potato sandwich, rice and gundruk leftovers, the apartment starts leaking, handyman, mopping and cleaning all day long [Mon 25]

I'm writing this the night of Tuesday, I'm finally 'caught up' with the posts from the weekend, the laziness and the gloom were not conducive to productivity.

This was the day I was really really hungry all the time. I had TJ's biriyani for lunch, got hungry couple of hours later, had the chips chilly sandwich, and soon I had rice and gundruk leftovers in the evening, and still not fully filled. So strange!

The apartment continued to leak as from the day before, and a handyman showed up, he looked at the roof but nothing seemed off apparently so he went away. At least he changed the bulb in my walkway. I worked from my living room.

In the evening the rain was heavy and so was the dripping, a lot of mopping and dumping buckets was involved. I don't enjoy doing this, and I could see how going away from the apartment for a few weeks with a leaky ceiling could really really fuck over one's place of residence.

Didn't go on a walk because it rained heavily and I was lazy and sleepy all the time.

I should start writing at work, get on the original plan more seriously

My writing plans with the work blog aren't going so good. Started writing one single post couple of weeks ago, and got two paragraphs written and that's it. Didn't work out so well. Every time I sit down to write, I'm waiting to be inspired but as experience in this blog has shown that is unlikely to ever happen, inspiration is never what takes you to high productivity,it's always setting yourself with high expectations, holding high level of discipline, and creating a timeboxed period to write it.

If I don't set that then it's not happening. And I need to put timeboxed events to start writing this. Without timeboxing, this blog wouldn't have happened, and that's not going to happen at work either. The problem with timeboxing is that there's other stuff to be done and I keep getting pulled into other shit at work. But if I block time with no intention of doing anything else for an hour or so daily, I'd definitely make much more progress.

So yah, I have a lot to contribute to my work blog, and everybody would benefit from it, I just need to push myself hard enough to get there.

Google podcasts is shutting down and I'm sick of Google's messing around with popular apps of theirs

As usual, Google is getting rid of an incredibly popular service of theirs that I use on a regular basis. It's the service that I use most often besides Google search, so that hits me even harder. Yeah, they're getting rid of google podcasts by next year apparently, and it's quite annoying: the app was light, simple, ad-free and got the job done. I liked it so much in fact, and it was so useful that I was looking to getting smartwatches that ran google podcasts so I could listen to google podcasts without having my hone around.

So that's not happening.

I downloaded some other random but very popular podcast app and it's...alright. A lot more busy, so many ads, so confusing, and nowhere nearly as convenient as the Google app. I'm annoying, disappointed, and feel cheated on. Yet again I feel screwed over by trusting google to maintain one of their core apps.

If only the geniuses in the brain trust of Google's workforce would consider working on less exciting projects or maintaining them.

I need separate tables for work, and to dine on

This is something I should have realized earlier, but two years on and it's become an increasingly obvious observation.

I have a single coffee table in my living, for both work and food. It's not enough anymore. Specially because when I have guests over, they sit on the same...surface...they sleep, and spend their day on, and eat on the table. It's an awful idea to eat while sitting on your bed. Doesn't work. Plus, every mealtime I need to displace my laptops and work material, and after meals are done I feel uncomfortable using the same surface to put my laptop and books on. This cannot work.

I need a separate table for dining purposes that'll be kept elsewhere, away from the sleeping area, that's also floor-based. I've talked about this in the past, but now the need is more urgent. Buy. It.Wherever. I can. And do it urgently. That's the next plan anyway.

All my lost belongings were just well-hidden within carton boxes, ugh.

Here's some really good news!

My candle melts, salvia, bunch of electronics, my work badge, elephant, 3d-printed self-bust, and a bunch of fermentation supplies, plus flowerpots and plates that I had considered long-lost have been discovered. Turns out they were dumped into one of the cartons the boys had stored other stuff into, and the carton had been put deep underneath every other carton that was dumped into my apartment when the boys left their shit at my place. So I'm really glad to know that I didn't lose both my work badges, that my melts didn't disappear all of a sudden, and that there is still order to the universe.

hurray, hurray!

I am made a breakfast, leftover dinner, socializing plans cancelled, talking about Nepal and future plans all day long, I go to Volunteer park all by myself, AKS packs in the evening, discovery [Sun 24]

Aks(y) made me breakfast, a sandwich of TJ's Indian tikka burger patties, eggs and toast. The eggs were a bit dry and alright.

For dinner we had the leftover dinner...rice and gundruk from the night before.

Had plans for the day, including hanging out with Pg, but that didn't work because of the rain and the gloom. Instead the day was spent talking to A, napping in the day which was quite relaxing, and talking to people on the phone.

Went to Volunteer park for a walk, A didn't want to because he wasn't feeling too well.

AKS unpacked his belongings, and got boxes in order from his and his brother's stuff in the evening. It was then that we discovered that all the stuff that was missing from my apartment was actually inside a deeply hidden carton box. So now my wax melter, my work badge, the salvia, and everything else has been found. I'm way more relieved about not missing anything from the apartment, including the elephant I brought from Ghana 9 years ago and the 3d printed bust of me from 7 years ago.

Gloomy rainy days are here, and I'm skipping the walk today

Third post in a row about the weather changes happening in Seattle, I know. It's the final one, save for maybe a poem or two or three, so play with me here.

I've complained about skipping socializing due to the rains, I've complained about having a more complicated commute thanks to the precipitation situation, and now there's the obstructed walks because of the watery world out there. The walks are hindered because well...the rains are intense sometimes and there's no proper raincoat, and umbrellas aren't the same as rain jackets. It's a whole different experience to go on a relaxing meditative walk with an umbrella on. Plus I'm already lazy so the rain is such a great excuse to avoid going out.

The second reason at this point is the ceiling dripping issue. If I am not home, and it's raining heavily, the buckets are bound to overflow and wet my living room and it's possible the bedroom could get moist from the overflowing water as well. Hopefully the roofing people show up tomorrow and fix the situation, otherwise...tough times.

For this reason I skipped going to walk yesterday, Monday. But I'm adjusting to the new circumstances. I should get better at adapting to change.

All weekend plans go down the drain when it's raining all the time

This will be  boring series of posts as a large percentage will involve talking about the weather and how it's affected me. But that's what happens when things change, and now that we're moving from fun sun time to gloomy doomy winter times, which I like because it's comforting and cool but I don't seem to like change and it sucks having to adjust to the new weather.

Right, so, the weekend. I had gotten myself into a busy and rewarding, socially speaking, end of the week. Picnic and board games on Saturday and pickleball with Pg. Well...guess what, none of that happened. I cancelled the Saturday plans because of AKS reasons (or so I said) and never got back to pg for the Sunday plan. We might have made alternative plans during the rain but that didn't happen, I chose to stay in, comfy and warm instead of getting wet and tired.

I mean, yeah that's not a sustainable approach to socializing or making new friends. It'll have to change obviously. But for now it was fun. I feel bad, so very guilty, but ugh. Whatever.

So many new succulents for my garden now!

The day AKS(y) came in I went to Tradre Joe's to check out groceries, and I found some solid succulents for 2.99 a pop. It was a good deal, because that included ceramic pots, they'd have cost 0.5$ each elsewhere anyway so quite cheap I'd say. I bought four of them, all different ones because I want to control and design my own garden. There was a whole 'succulent garden' for like 14 bucks which had like 8 different kinds of succulents, but there's not a lot of opportunity to play around with that because eventually that has to be managed and transferred etc, whereas with those small pots I can replant them into a larger garden if I want to, or keep them there, and also reuse the tiny pots if I want to.

I'm excited for the succilent part of my garden!

How the hell to commute during the rain and gloom ugh

This is late Fall in Seattle, meaning the dark gloomy rainy days have begun. Today was the fourth day in a row when it mostly rained and was gloomy overall. It was so very crazy that I backed out of both my weekend plans, and didn't go on my regular walks on Monday because cold gloomy and dark is more of a cuddle weather than out and about one. Though of course it's only during transition, and one has to adjust to the dim conditions eventually.

But for right now I am lost over how I can do my 40% work from office thing, because it's raining pretty heavily in the mornings, and I don't feel like walking for 30 minutes in the rain? Maybe I should take the train. Even then, it's all pretty terrible uuugh, I'd rather just be huddled inside than walk in the rain and over the puddles. But we must adjust. Public transport is the way to go!

Chips chilli using all uncooked veggies, scrambled eggs and bread for lunch, talking about Nepal and future with AKS(y), Volunteer park rounds, 7-grain rice and gundruk dinner, difficulty cooking, so filling, peep show and early bed [Sat 23]

Since AKS(y) was round, and he'd eaten Trader Joe's veggie biryani the night before, I figured I'd cook something good. In maybe-related occurrence, the potatoes, onions and bell peppers in my fridge had gotten really really old and needed to be used or they'd go bad in a matter of days. So I made chips chili with onions, bell pepper, ketchup, and fennel seeds.

Made scrambled eggs the french way, plus toasted tonnes of seeded beds for brunch. So filling, so yummy, so comforting.

Spent hours and hours talking to A about his future plans, recommendation for grad school, what he wants to do in Nepal, and the impossibility of succeeding in Nepal due to the lack of options.

We walked to Volunteer park, I took three rounds, A did just two.

I'd gotten 7-grain rice (4 lentils, chickpea, brown rice, quinoa, jasmine rice) soaking since the morning, so I put them in the pressure cooker with a bunch of spices. Added sour and hot spices to a pot, made some gundruk and chopped it and put it back in the pot to make a wonderful gundruk stew to be eaten with dhido rice. I messed up the gundruk though, dumped black eye beans, even though they weren't soaked or pressure cooked, so spent a very long time cleaning the food of those ingredients because that was not meant to be a part of the process.

Anyway we had the dinner and it was shockingly filling, we watched peep show on the tv after eating and I fell asleep in the living room at 9.15 ish, and that too even barely.

It was a sound sleep day after work, turns out.

Some of the crap in my apartment went away, the boys are packing up the rest soon!

Some good news coming up ahead, amidst the gloomy and downer of a weather.

I had missed my scented candles, work badges, some salvia, and a bunch of decorating things, plus minor audio equipment, flowerpots and fermentation bottles. They had been there in the apartment before I went to Nepal, but not after, and I figured the boys just threw them out because they didn't see the value in it. On an unrelated note, there were so many cartons of clothes and random belongings the boys had left between their moves.

It didn't occur to me that they had somehow dumped things that would have been important to me deep within other boxes that held their belongings. As AKS(y) was packing for his college move, I encouraged him to get rid of every bit of item he and ak(e) had deposited at my place. And it was then that we discovered that actually all those things I'd missed hadn't disappeared, they were just very well hidden from myself, all these months. Yikes!

But hurray, my work badge is now mine, and so are my scented candles that make everything smell nice, and everything else. hurray!

Some top 8 list because seriously I can't keep doing this

1. Top seven women who should have been the actual 'mother' than the mother they made, in the TV series "How I met your mother"
   
   
2. Nine reasons the person with the 'heart' power in Captain Planet got the short end of the stick and it is kinda racist that the other whiter kids didn't get the useless power
   
   
3. Eight times Scooby Doo had no chance of survival and the show would have taken a really dark turn had it bothered being slightly more realistic.
   
   
4. Seven times the guys in the TV sex-comedy Coupling (UK) from the early 2000' were actually right.
   
   
5. Nine sports you should start following if you want to have solid conversations with Americans, number four will totally blow your mind!
   
   
6. Six dolfins that look like heroes, but you have no idea how they keep saving so many children who just 'keep falling' into the ocean exactly when these dolfins re around to tell the story.
   
   
7. Eleven ways to become a traveling salesman without driving a car.
   
   
8. Nine times everybody thought The Big Bang Theory was so stupid, but actually it got right in all those times
   

I made gundruk and mixed bhaat

The day after Aks(y) came to Seattle, I made really good food after a gap of a couple of weeks. Work has been kinda really 'sticky' lately, and it felt good to relax and cook.

For lunch I used up the remainder of the potatoes from way back, as they would have gone super bad if I didn't make good use of them. Started with the goal to make breakfast potatoes like PN do, using fennel seeds, but it evolved into chips chilli. Pretty darn good. I can never tell how long it takes potatoes to cook because there's so many variables invovled.

So I set rice to soak for the evening. It involved 4 different kinds of dals (black dal, moong dal, yellow dl, orange dal), black chickpeas, quinoa, brown rice and jasmine rice. It soaked up quite well, so I put 'em all int he pressure cooker with oil and cumin powder and couple of other spices, plus onions, and turned it into a pretty yummy dhido-like dish.

Since it was so very cold, and the rice was to feel like dhido so much, I made gundruk for veggies. I have a large bag of gundruk from...one of the boys who left it in my apartment, and I fried garlic and onion in oil, plus jimbu and tomato paste, lapsi powder and handful of gundruk into the water and let it boil after the original toast/fry. Turns out you can't just dump gundruk into the water, you need to cut it, so after it was cooked, I took the chunks out and cut them into very fine pieces. Accidentally added black eyed beans, and then pulled them back out because after calling mom it was discovered that it's generally a good idea to pressure cook the beans. That took the longest time.

Oh maaan the gundruk tasted so so so good. I should have made it earlier. I need to make more gundruk-sinki and other traditional Nepali dishes!

List of 10 things I would like to cook

1. Really good vegetable momos that give me a sense of comfort
   
   
2. Newari food, all of it, yum yum yum
   
   
3. Gundruk and sinki!
   
   
4. Ciabatta bread and french bread
   
   
5. Air-fryer donuts
   
   
6. A well-made biryani, vegetable one that tastes legit!
   
   
7. Good rajma ko tarkari
   
   
8. Really good pork belly dish that my vegetarian self cannot resist eating
   
   
9. All the yummy Chinese vegetarian foods I see on youtube!
   
   
10. Pan-made bread, like naan and big leavened breads!
    

Veggie sandwich for lunch, the nooks and corners get cleaned for a guest, big shopping trip at Trader Joe's and friendmeeting, latenight walk, buzzing guest in, catching up with AS(y) until latenight [Fri 22]

I was so busy with work on this day that the office trip didn't happen, since there was literally no time to walk down to the office. Mostly meetings, replying to conversations and reading documents, but it is what engineers do as they become senior.

Had veggie sandwich for lunch, and cleaned the apartment inside out since friend AS(y) was coming from Nepal and crashing at my place for a couple of days before going to his grad school.

In the evening I went to Trader Joe's and got a big bag of frozen foods which I hoped AK would enjoy. Met friend PS there, and made plans for the weeks, none of which worked out because the weekend turned out to be so gloomy.

Wrote a little bit in the blog in the evening.

AS had his luggage delayed, so he didn't come home on time. So I left my apartment open and went on a midnight walk, in the rain. Buzzed him in while I was at Volunteer park, about 11 in the evening.

Came home, offered food to AS, and got caught with him on his trip, what's happening in Nepal and generally what his plans ahead were.

Went to sleep pretty late at night because it was already a bit past midnight when I came back, and then we spoke for two hours.

Xfinity has fucked me over real bad with their shitty internet connection

This will be quick, because there's only so mad I can get at a single time or my anger reserves get depleted.

I wrote in these very pages several weeks ago how I'd decreased my internet bill in half while getting four times the internet speed. So the first payment was confusing because they charged me a lot more than I was expecting, which was a cause of concern. But later they clarified that they'd give me credit for the overcharged amount and my internet costs were in fact only 25 buckaroos a month. For 200 Mbps. Yeah good deal whatever.

The situation at hand is this: the internet connection gets terrible every 30 minutes or so, completely dropping video calls and audio calls. So I can't have a smooth meeting experience with coworkers because I'll get disconnected or have audio-video issues three times in an hour. So frustrating, specially since this was supposed to fix all my internet issues. I should call them to fix it but I can't be arsed because what can they even do? Did some research online and looks like there's bugs in the router's software stack and that could be causing my issues. How would one go about updating that though? Sounds like so much work.

Hope this just fixes itself aaaa.

The silliness behind 10k steps a day, and how google fit has been fucking me over lately

Last year I was really good with maintaining 10k steps a day for months and months. I've been trying to repeat that this year and maintain the 'streak' of that number of daily steps. The issue is that there's no way to know if you missed by 20 or by 2,000, and the last couple of days I missed 10k steps by 20 step and 40 steps and 50 steps or something to that effect. Meaning the streak ended, pathetically, but I did the walk, in the cold in the rain and often quite miserably. And google didn't give me credit for it.

The basic issue is that the 10k steps a day is a concept unfounded in science or research. It was a marketing things brought up by some japanese company way back apparently, and the quality of those 10k steps matters a lot more than the count, and if you're not getting the right kind of workouts, even 20k steps are not sufficient to one's bodily needs. But it's always good to have something to look forward to, and for me that was those steps. But the effectiveness of setting those expectations has gone down because I'm grown to be more doubtful of the whole superstructure. Ugh, this isn't going so well.

And today, on the 25th, I didn't even go on a walk. It was raining pretty hard, and my living room ceiling was leaking hardcore, so much that the day was spent mopping the floor and replacing buckets under the leaks, but still a nice long walk would have chippered my mood significantly.

Whatever. Tomorrow's going to be a better day, walkwise.

The light in my apartment walkway is finally replaced

The light in the corridor between my apartment door and living room was broken for a long time and there was no way to change it since I didn't know anybody tall and didn't have a ladder. Earlier this morning a repairman came in (long story, different post because it's a big mess I have on my hands) and helped replaced the light. Turns out I'd bought a really white bulb, and in the morning that light felt quite bright so we didn't bother replacing the second bulb in there, but it's evening now and actually that light used to be a lot brighter. Not that I mind the strength, just the color of it is not very...helpful in creating good mood. Regardless, entering my apartment won't be a sad, dark experience and one will be able to turn on the lights right from the door.

Hurray!

I love how good I've improved at keeping in touch with people

My friend circle has changed. The old gang who I moved to Seattle for..pk, sk, aks, sb, tw, are not around in Seattle. The only person around is wc and I hang out with him once every couple of months, so that's no good. Under normal circumstances I'd be freaking out and worrying about how I don't have friends and so forth. But no more. I've made new friends, reconnected with old ones, and got hanging out with a whole new group. My weekends aren't as busy as they used to, but not because it's beyond my control, but because I'd rather just stay in cleaning my apartment, going on walks and grocery trips and get low-key lunches and picnics with friends.

That's not it either. I've been talking to my sister and friends way more often than I have ever before, and call everybody regularly. So very proud that I'm in touch with a large portion of my family, and my plan is to get even better than this.

I'm really really eager and excited to explore this aspect of my life.

Busy workday, long conversation, walk to work, quarterly review, meeting with coworker GF, walk around town, Library and print favor, so hungry, onion and veggie sandwich dinner, long nap, living room sleep [Thu 21]

 I'm writing this on Saturday afternoon, because I was really tired due to hunger related reasons (more on that later) on this day and Friday was spent hanging out with friends.

It was a busy work day, and I went to office, so it was doubly so. On my walk to work I called Ak and talked to them throughout my journey to the desk.

Had my quarterly review, fucking finally done after 3.5 hours. Fixed some hardcore things.

Went to the Seattle public library, returned the Learning to Learn book, met up with coworker GF and walked around him all over the town. We walked over to World Market in Belltown...it's hella expensive compared to the one in VA...and then we got cookies at this fancy coffee place near pike place market. Call me cheap but 5 bucks for a normal-sized cookie is a ripoff. We then walked back to the library, talked some more, and GF went away to his 5k race. I went upstairs, renewed the learning to learn book, printed out a document for Sk, and talked about volunteer opportunities.

I was really really really hungry at this point.

Walked home, so very tired, stopped by QFC to see if there was anything good but no luck. Made a roasted veggie sandwich with onions and mayo (veggies are leftovers) and relaxed. The sugar spike must have been so intense Ifelt super weak and sleepy and napped for three hours.

Went on a walk in the evening, didn't have the energy to write at all.

Came back, put on Schitt's Creek on TV and tried to force myself to write. No bueno. Eventually fell asleep in the living room, until the next morning. Quite a sound sleep. Next morning I worked straight form the living room.

Readin' time

Readin' time,
it's time to grab a good book
and a cuppa' hot choco
snuggle in the banket
and read, read until I break
a good book
a tale of folks perhaps
or science fiction
even non-fiction, I don't mind
just read, read whatever you can
because you either experience
the world
or you live through the world
on paper.
read, read and keep reading forever and ever.

The ghost story

I need to write this ghost story. I wrote this title exactly one month and four days ago, and haven't gotten around writing it. I think I narrated it in my google recorder thing but never got around to writing it. It involves a ghost, a guy who falls in love with her. It'll be called buried treasure, because she's a kichkhandi and she's buried, but turns out she's a wonderful person and really gets along with everybody and a joy and treasure to whole humanity. Yeah she has downsides, as in she's a supernatural being with  negative consequences, but negative and positive matter only in context right and people somehow figure out a way to channel her negative energy for positive outcomes. Everybody lives happily. ever. after.

Veggies eggs and bruschetta sandwich for lunch, long calls on the phone, sunny walk, sun bath at Volunteer park, popcorn dinner.lots of evening writing [Wed 20]

For lunch I had the veggies from the previous day, fried eggs, and bruschetta in a sandwich.

In the morning ish I talked to folks for several hours, looked so scraggly and wretched man.

It was so very cool but sunny in the evening, so I took couple of rounds of Volunteer park. It was so chilly but sunny, I sat by the donut and stared at the sun with my eyes shut like a sunflower. Got a nice bit of tan in there. Sat there and got a quick power nap.

Had a massive bowl of popcorn for dinner, with spicy mix and nutritional yeast for spices, all on oil. Butter makes the popcorns soggy, oil does not.

Does Freddie from Scooby Doo want to rumble?

I have no clue what the original plan was with this. 

I wrote the title of this a solid 3 weeks ago, on Sept 4, and have not a clue what I should write on. This was around the time when I was watching scooby doo on the tv, and there was a lot of commentary around how Fred is kinda airy and empty-headed. So maybe I thought I could pick up a fight with him.

Who knows...I for sure don't.

And what does rumbling even mean? I'm guessing it's to...pick up a fight? To wrestle maybe? Would I win a fight with Fred from Scooby Doo? Don't think so, he's young and sprightly. He's got experience fighting monsters and running away from them. He's known to spring traps, and surely he's not just searching for monsters with Daphne, so he's in peak physical form. I wouldn't stand a chance.

I don't want to rumble with Freddie from Scooby Doo, no. Whether he wants to rumble or nah, that is irrelevant,

Frequently asked questions about the big golden statue outside my house

Q: Is that a...naked...statue of you?
A: Not at all, it's the greek god of good shape and war and love and seduction! If you felt that was me, it's just an impression, perhaps freudian, that tells a lot about yourself than about the sttue!

Q: Is it made of solid gold..or...
A: Of course it's made of solid gold, how dare you even question my commitment to investing a lot of money in ultimately wasteful and pointless and vain gestures that only end up embarrassing and humiliating me to my target audience instead of winning their respect and admiration like I always hope they will? Do you think I look like the sort of cheap hustler who would make sure to balance out the weight with lead and other heavy materials at the cold, and use only a slight thin sheet of ok quality gold on the outside so that even if somebody decided to use the 'archimedes test' it would succeed so they would think i was a genius god but if somebody so much as bothered to scratch the surface with sharp fingernails, my stratagem would be unraveled? How dare you sir, how. dare. you!?

Q: IF it is made of solid gold, like you claim it is, would the money not have been better spent giving to all the humanitarian causes you profess to support
A: What is life if not for celebration? You need to appreciate yourself, love and feel good about yourself and the world to work towards any meaningful goal. Your pea-sized reptile brain is probably too slow and stupid to comprehend the topic, but not everything is about the same thing okay, stop having such a single-track mind, yeah I donate to starvation and what not but that's not the only thing that defines me got it, I'm a complex person with various goals and interests and layers of complexity you poor simpletons cannot imagine to be possible within a single human being so if you ever got out your head out of your asscrack and thought about serious world matters for one second you would realize that a person doesn't have to do the same thing over and over again, they can have hobbies and interests and fun quirky ideas they execute at a moments notice so they gain the respect and admiration of people they desperately crave attention from so shut your blabbering mouth and get back to flipping burgers or whatever crap job you are forever destined to do because you're too lazy and stupid to be good for anything else. I'm smart. You're not. That's a fact.

We need this, a silly milestone to celebrate that I have completed 666 posts this year!

This year has been less than ideal with the number of posts I'd have wished to have written by now, that point has been acknowledged to the point of death. But it's not all cause for sadness and disappointment because we need to celebrate our achievements, and at this point I have published 666 posts preceding this very one this year. The devil number! The triple evil! Divisible by 2 and 3 and 6 and 111, among various others! Scary one! Horror movie mascot number! The number has many names, and I have achieved it.

These silly celebrations are important, otherwise the goal of getting caught up with the preceding years will seem overwhelming and near-impossible.With the real possibility that I might be out of down during tihar-thanksgiving days, that could be one whole month of unwritten blog posts. Too many days of missed writings, the goal will get further and further away for realization. We cannot let that happen, for that is to surrender to the vagaries of life, the oppression of fate into our lives. The one way to assert control over reality is to fight back, to rebel against the game of fate. And this is my tiny, seemingly meaningless, yet existing, attempt at doing that.

Slante!

Work until late, massive custom taco meal, short afternoon nap, Rachel's ginger beer with Pb, evening walk in the rain, evening writing [Tue 19]

I'm writing this on the Saturday morning, because Wednesday was busy AF to get around to write for this day, Thursday I slept a lot, Friday was busy hosting guests, and now I've finally come around to pay the debt of unwritten posts.

During the day I was working until 3 because I had like 4 hours of meetings this day as well. And my coworkers wouldn't let me go because this and that needed to be figured out.

For lunch I took the spring onion pancake, made mushroom and carrot tarkari with various spices and tahini in the air fryer, added some powders and fixins like nutritional yeast, chilli crisps and ketchup, and that was one glorious taco. Couple of points: the spring onion pancakes are just...okay, they're not salty and flavorful enough and I really miss Trader Joe's malabari naan. Also this one one occasion where I really missed cheese, after force-fed myself on mozzarella the week before because the stringiness and the 'bite' would have been a fantastic complementary flavor.

Took a power nap in the afternoon.

Went to meet PB down to RGB, he came to Seattle last year when we became friends and it was nice catching up with him again. It feels good to be appreciated and find a friend group that is detached from the whole...high-school gang from back in the day. He has extraordinarily good credentials, and works for business consulting too, which isn't anything to sneeze at, but it's also not terrible to hang with driven people every so often.

After hanging with him, went on evening walk to Volunteer park. It was raining, not very disruptively, but heavily enough to make one's hoodie cover wet. So pleasant. My favourite weather in this city.

Did heavy evening writing before going to sleep.

I really really should be using all those spices i have before they expire

The problem is that there's about two megatons of old spices in my cupboard. Asian spices, Indian spices, latin spices, middle-eastern spices. Spices I bought, spices that got sent from Nepal, spices that friends left with me before moving away. And I haven't been cooking much. Which means they're losing their aroma, they're expiring, they're dying, without fulfilling their life's purpose, to provide joy and fragrance to humans who consume them. I'm a Kantian monster for hoarding spices and not making nearly enough use out of them. A prisoner of flavor, a warden of joy and spice. The king of boredom, emperor of blandness. I should do better, I know it's possible.

Just need to cook more, using more spices, and inviting people to eat more. That'll improve my cooking skills, help me with friends-making, make me more social, and get rid of the spices.What's even the blocker there, I don't understand. I have spices, I like to cook, I like spicy food. Combine three interests of mine, and hooooo boi, you got that stew goin'!

Sorry, that's the second time I've used that Carl Weathers Arrested Development Stew meme today!

Reminder to myself: I should force myself to write fiction once more

The reason I went crazy four years ago -- yikes it's been four years since I uhh went crazy and started posting to this blog on an almost religious pace -- was that I wanted to write fiction. A lot of it. Novels, big meaty novels with yummy yummy stories, books that nobody would ever read maybe but it wouldn't matter because my desire to write, the inherent human desire to create, would be satiated. Books would be written, read by a dozens and maybe a few hundred, and all would be good. The first step towards getting there was to write. Actually write, with a routine, an everyday practice, show some discipline. Make writing a daily habit instead of something quirky or whimsy when the mood took hold. An activity that I'd do on a daily basis than quarterly or monthly.

In some sense that has paid dividend. Writing hasn't become any easier, and it's not yet become a part of my genetics, but it's definitely a habit now, a part of daily routine and if I don't do it I feel guilty, bad about myself, and really really want to make it look like I did it, even when I didn't do it. I still need to write the journal posts for April five months after the actual occasion, and project 240...one of the most insane and ambitious projects ever attempted, specially on this blog, is still on the cards. Yes, I have written, and I have made the habit. We're far beyond the discussing the topic of the quality of the produced material...it's almost pointless because that wasn't the original goal anyway, and I've always said getting something written, anything really regardless of the quality, is going to be better than not writing anything.

But not in all the ways.

Fiction writing has gone down considerably in the later years of my writing habit, even more so than before, if that's even possible. The novels have now become a pie-in-the-sky, if for the simple fact that they need constant focus and attention and to 'thread the needle' and turn it into a sweater with words, but I've only gone as far as...stitching patches here and there. I'm no craftsman with words, a mere technician or an operator, with a bare understanding of how things work but not enough patience to figure out the details.

There's a reason for this.

At first I did things 'timeboxed'. As in, no matter what, the goal wasn't the wordcount, the coal wasn't the number of posts (i mean I did set myself standards, but that wasn't the point). The point was to block two hours of my daily schedule and just write. Write like  madman and keep writing.

Then Covid happened. And then other disruptions. My life was upended, and my ability to timebox activities and organize myself within strict clear rules went down.

What. A. Bummer.

The failure of fiction writing in this blog is not a failure of writing, or one of motivation, but strictly of self-discipline, and not living to reasonable standards. I need to set simple rules for myself, and live by them. That is all there is.

Nothing more.

What stops me?

Helping and inspiring people to apply to grad school

I have been nagging people to go to grad school, folks form Nepal, friends I've known for long time and some I've known for only a few. It's really hard for people who find themselves in a flow, however awful it may be, to change their lifestyle and put themselves into a potentially stressful situation, open themselves up for failure and be vulnerable. But I must remind them that it's all for the best, the future is what matters, and the consequences of them putting even 30% of their efforts towards taking exams, writing essays, asking people to write them references and finally clicking that 'submit' button is an investment that quickly returns multiple multiples very soon.

It's not just about nagging people though, people need to be shown a vision of a better future, how things will be different, for good, and how their contribution will clearly lead the way toward that. They need to be explained how the downsides that are talked about are not as overwhelming as they're made out to be, and how the upsides are not nearly well sold enough.

Fingers crossed and all the best!

Some conspiracies

Some conspiracies are fun,
In some conspiracies
you are the one
on the run,
some conspiracies are crazy
some conspiracies are so very deep
some conspiracies are lovely
and they are awesome
they will lead you do
moments of great elation
some conspiracies
will lead you to
tell small lies,
they will guide you
to the greatest pie
you need to plan
and you need to convene
you need to organize
and you need to trust
and in the end, you put it all
in execution.
You cross your fingers
and hope for the best
trusting your partners in crime
to succeed in the heist
no banks are robbed
no crime is committed
but in the end
you're coming out ahead
far, far ahead
than everything before.

I discovered the new best fucking burritos and mexican takeout, in Boston: A review of El Jefe's

There's this Mexican place on the South-East corner of Boston Public Common that I went during one of the evenings of my Boston stay. I went there at half past midnight, it's open until two. The place is called El Jefe's, and it's the best goddamn cheap mexican place I've ever been to in the United States of America. There's no close second, not by far.

Things I like: friendly staff, decent ambience, an insane amount of choice for spicy sauces, fantastic opening hours, friendly patrons, a large selection of choices, different options for different meals of the day, generous portion sizes, generous flexibility in options, extremely reasonable prices, and hot damn, their fried plantains.

For 11 buckaroos I got a massive burrito with vegan chicken, beans, rice, couple of veggies, and a massive fried plantain, yummy. I got a side of plantains for three more dollars.

This is by far my favourite 'overall' place, and while it doesn't complete with Tenoch Medford in flavor, goddamn, it's strange thing to say I miss Boston for its Mexican food. Which I do now.

Huh.

Into the frying pan of work

Where oh where
Have I found myself
but in the
frying pan
of my work.

Add the oil
of confusion
and the heat
of tight deadlines,
plus the spices
of unclear instructions,
oh and don't forget
the greens of
team dysfunction,
all you need now
is incapable management
and oh boy
you got your
fried pickle
going on
in the frying pan
of terrible work.

Eff, the learning to learn book needs returning tomorrow and I'm not ready to let it go!

Yeah so I skimmed through it and got the major gist of it, but the Learning to Learn's time had come, I returned it on the 21st even though the book was halfway read through. The interlibrary loan period is far too short...2 weeks...to get anything productive done, and I unfortunately didn't even get around to scanning it so I could keep it with me for future reference.

But no worries, I went to the Seattle Public Library main building (no reason to do that, coulda done it from my cellphone) and put in a new borrowing request. So within a week hopefully, I should be getting it back! Can finish reading it and internalizing it finally!

45-minute power naps are the future of sleeping ya!

The past week I took several powernaps: 45-minute naps that got me re-energized, without making me even groggier and unwilling to do anything else productive for the rest of the day. Haven't read up the published literature on how effective they are, but to me they are the perfect solution for my...unusual working hours.

Though, disclaimer, there was a day when the 45 minutes were not sufficient at all and I had to sleep a bit more...ended up sleeping three extra hours, that was thursday the day before yesterday which is why I've screwed the pooch on getting caught up with the posts on this blog once more. But it's mostly a function of what I've got go to, and how often and what I've been eating. If I eat less carby food, more often, I'm confident the sleep troubles can be eaten away. honh honh.

The awesomeness of Seattle public libraries and how I work next to the biggest library

I went to the Seattle Public Library, the main building, the other day and boy oh boy was I amazed.

It's massive! It's got hundreds of computers! It's even got a used bookstore. And a coffee shop. So many books, so many features, so many people to help you out, it was an overwhelming experience!

They are a very well resourced institution and I feel so lucky to be a part of the system. All I need to join is the King County library system, and I'd be in access of one of the more well-resourced institutions in the country that is accessible without being any academic member, for sure.

Also, I had to return the 'Learning to Learn' book because it expired, and I put in a re-borrow request immediately. Need to wait for a few more weeks, but it'll get back to me soon!

No need to pressure myself, nobody's doing anything useful during the weekdays anyway outside work

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that my inability to reach, or even point myself, to the direction of my desires is caused by two related but countering forces. First, it's the exceedingly high expectations for myself that nobody reasonable would subject themselves to. Which means you know getting a lot lot of shit done on a workday after work is done, which yeah I do have weird hours that give me lots of leeway but I don't have more hours than a normal person, they're just arranged differently. And what I'm doing is like pretty great already because most people don't just do much outside of work on a regular day. So a day that would be satisfactory, even a fucking fantastic one, would be disappointing and shameful for me because I'd spent all of it sleeping, watching tv, walking a bit, and talking to family. Outside of work. Which is a lot, but not compared to my own high standards.

The second force is the one opposite to it. Because I fail every so often to meet my expectations, I surrender very quickly, and give leeway due to lack of energy, to not achieve even everyday goals that anybody should expect from themselves. And that's because I've tired myself out on the 'reach' goals. So clearing dishes takes forever, vacuuming rooms is such a tiring experience etcetera. Because my disappointments have got ahead of me and are actively blocking things that very much need need to be done.

The solution: I need to be more conscious about things that are more in like with the deeds of an average functional human adult male, and those that are 'reach' goals, and do the basics first before anything else.

work troubles

Troubles are happening with my team. Nobody talks to anybody, everybody's pointing fingers at one another, there's no clear vision, direction or goal, we don't know what we're doing and why and no clear idea about who'll decide and fight on our behalf. And I've been spending hours, and hours and hours and fixing things, talking to people, inspiring teammates and seniors, and talking to management about our matters. And the fact that there's even lazier and slower-working people on the team, most of them in fact, than myself makes me even matter, but whatever, that is one's fate I guess, this is where we get to.

Tofu noodle for lunch, extreme hardcore stressful work day, I discover I've been expected to pay others' utilities, volunteer walk relaxes me, extreme evening writing [Mon 18]

 Had the leftover tofu noodles for lunch and strangely it was even better the second time around.

Work was extraordinarily stressful and that's a lot coming from me because don't let it get to me but my team is falling part and I need to take care of things. Basically 7 hours of making people feel godo about themselves.

I was still quite stressed about work even after, and the fact that I got almost 600 bucks on my credit account from my roommates' unpaid utilities pissed me off so very much. So the mood was not the best, all things said.

I went to Volunteer park for a walk, took 3 rounds there, and my mood elevated so much with that. Fantastic walk.

Wrote dozens of posts in the evening on this blog, and didn't go to sleep until midnight because I was just pushing it away and away. Lots of writing left.

Travel and festival plans ahead

Okay quick change of plans, because things have evolved and one must adapt to changing circumstances. Holiday travel plans have changed. I won't be going to the East Coast for Dashain, likely, because the following plans become untenable. Instead I spend the 11 first days in Seattle, and then take a quick trip with friends on a Trekking expedition out of the country. Then I come back to Seattle (or the East Coast) around 6th or 7th of December, and eventually go to East Coast for Tihar and Thanksgiving. Of course Christmas will be spent with either friends or family along with new yer. Hopefully good things happen in January, and I can make the trip to March I've been planning for to the Netherlands and Europe in general.

Friends crashing at mine in near future

 Friends are crashing at my place in the foreseeable future and it's so exciting to me! Aks (y) is staying here for couple of days this weekend, before he goes to grad school. Then Sk and the doggo were supposed to be crashing in over the same weekend, but as I wrote yesterday our Enchantment trip was pushed couple of weeks away so he's coming in a week or two from now, so I'll be hosting a decent number of guests. JD and ad might come soon as well, but the dates are harder to pin down. And maybe later this year one of my cousins might crash in as well. Many exciting things to look forward to!

Top ten funniest PeepShow scenes

1. The wedding pissing scene during Mark's wedding, when Jez is complaining about Mark and pissing his pants, and his pee seeps through the floor and gets the men attention of th wedding crowd. Hilarious!
   
   
2. The Dinner Party on season 9 when Jez's two lovers who are also dating each other end up both playing with him, hilarious!
   
   
3. The first scene of the series, when Mark puts his hands on the sit and olivia Coleman sits on top of it, so funny!
   
   
4. Saz scenes when Mark's trying to figure out what to do then! Poor guy, what was he even supposed to do?!
   
   
5. The SuperHans scenes, all of them, that man is hilarious, so frickin funny!
   
   
6. The drug-party episode, all of it, when Mark shits like an ill man and is seen by Johnson, freakin' comedy that is!
   
   
7. "Honda people" kidnapping scene!
   
   
8. Mark is hired, and insulted by Super Hans! How low can this guy go? Oh even more!
   
   
9. Birth of Sophie and Mark's kid.
   
   
10. All of Big Suze and Jonson scenes, together!
    

A new popcorn mix with nutritional yeast and sour and spicy powder from TJ's and oil

I made a massive batch of popcorn earlier today, something that's been missing from my popcorn consumption lately has been the flavoring and sprinkles. Butter doesn't work because butter's too watery, it makes the popcorn soggy. So I took my grapeseed oil, two spoonfuls of, some nutritional yeast and the off-brand Trader Joe's version of Tajin sprinkle. And it was good! The only downside was there wasn't enough oil in the mix to stick to the kernels but besides that it was yum yum.

Great discovery man!

Talk with cousins and friends, complex egg sandwiches for lunch, two failed attempts for walk, the third one succeeds to volunteer, accidental shitting, tofu noodles for dinner [Sun 17]

Talked to TD, SB, in netherlands and Sb in bay area with his partner.

For lunch I had sourbread with mozzrella, pesto, eggs bruschetta and mustard.

Dressed up to go on walk at 11am, but got too lazy with phonecalls, then I went out at 4, but it was too warm for my heavy clothes, so I came back. Tried to go out again at 5.30, but I was too distracted chatting on phone with jd and ak and I sharted a bit, so I had to clean, shower for the second time in the day, clean my clothes, and then go on my third attempt to go on a walk.

Made noodles in the evening, with tofu added to them, yum yum.

Wrote a little bit in the evening, not much, and slept so soundly, and so early.

Rachel's ginger beer is a fine place to hang

Rachel's ginger beer is the best place for me to get caught up with friends and acquaintances because it's so close to my apartment, their drinks are not terribly expensive, plus they have slurpees, they have an equal mix of alcoholic as well as non-alcoholic drinks, their patio is great even until the winter months, the general vibe of the crowd that goes there is cool and attractive, their ambience is chill, and the staff are fun. And it's a kinda classy place, so nobody has issues coming there. It's worked out so well!

Frequently asked questions about how the new payment system to post messages will work

Q: Are you really going to start charging money for each message?
A: Yes. Well...maybe, unless that takes us even closer to bankruptcy and a pace faster than right now. Then we will back out of charging money for posting messages, and make the system free for everybody.

Q: Will the paying customers have an ad-free experience?
A: No, not at all why would you even ask such a silly question, how do you think we are able to pay for our server costs? through our ads! If we don't get those ads, we aren't able to serve our customers, so the ads will still be there!

Q: Why would anyone pay for posting when posting is free right now?
A: Because there's value in it, because people are addicted in it!

Q: Well...has anybody signed yet? What are the projections like?
A: While nobody has yet(!) signed up for the feature where users can limit general spam in the platform by paying a small fee to reduce automated amount, we are confident the feature will get much more popularity as people see the value in it, so don't worry people!

Frequently asked questions about the Prime Minister's agenda in China

Q: What is the agenda, exactly?
A: Well it's a very large document, with over a hundred separate points, so it's the large document with many unrelated things, more of a novel really. Or a wishlist if you will.

Q: What are the Prime Minister's goals with the China visit?
A: The prime minister's goal is to get all the points in the agenda agreed on by the Chinese officials, and ideally get them funded, in a matter that might resemble begging to some but no this is all nice and good and it doesn't involve any aspect of begging or panhandling, not at all.

Q: Wait, is the Prime Minister's China trip a begging opportunity?
A: Again, trip is nothing like a begging opportunity. Yes, we do have a wishlist, yes we have no money and aren't interested in loans, yes we hope and expect the Chinese restaurant to build roads buildings and bridges in the country, but this isn't begging. You have to be shabbily dressed and smell bad, plus put your hands out with a bowl to actually be begging. He won't be doing that in China.

Frequently asked questions about the big black bird in the sky that's really loud

Q: Is it the fighter jet that got out of captivity orrr?
A: It is NOT the fighter jet that was lost control of due to system errors, and not anybody's fault, not at all, that was just a very large eagle!

Q: Can I pick up the bits and bobs here and there that might be parts of it and sell to foreign governments?
A: Not at all.

Q: Was the reason you didn't detect it before, that it was too good for our defense and radar systems?
A: Maybe, we cannot really comment on the nature of performance of our defense or offense systems.

Q: Did you look under the couch?
A: The air force has not checked under everyone's collective couches for one of our most expensive and advanced assets, no, because we don't believe it's likely that we'll find those aircraft parts of them there.

I chat and talk to friends and family all day long, but otherwise chill and rest inside, leftover Indian meal for lunch [Sat 16]

This was a rest day, and all of it was spent in the apartment.

Talked to friends and family all across the country and the world during the work. Had papri chat leftovers from the day before for lunch.

Watched lots of tv, videos, and getting caught up on the popular culture that I'd missed during Boston trip.

Enchantment plans are postponed

 Sk and I were planning on doing the Enchantment hike at the Olympic peninsula this weekend. I got cold chills, 26 miles without bathroom, up and down with no warm food, and it might rain, we could get real screwed if we didn't finish it all within one day. That would have been rough. Thankfully Sk came to the same conclusion and agreed that we could postpone it by a couple of weeks, an we could also probably buy the camping permit in the secondary market, and take two or three days to complete it, camping on the way. That way we can view the scenic areas too and actually appreciate the hike than rushing it out of fear of darkness, weather and wild animals. Great plan man, I want to say because that saves us all a lot of energy and commitment.

The old green-onion patch is finished finally after a month!

My green onion patch gave me about a dozen cuttings for soup, rice, Asian taco, fried rice, sandwiches and so many different dishes, ramen too. It has finally dried out, after perhaps a month-and-half of serving me exceedingly well. Farewell green onions, and until another bunch!

Need to be careful in my evenings walks: I (accidentally) sharted during my daily walk because I was not paying attention

It was the silliest of days yesterday, walk-wise. I planned to go on a walk in the morning, so dressed up heavily but got distracted by various things and headed out after 2. It was too hot for the cloth I was wearing so I just returned home after several blocks. Then I headed out again at around five-thirty-ish. I was chatting with jd and ak on the phone, and really excited with what was happening. Wasn't really listening to the state of my tummy and I let lose what I thought was a fart but it was poop so I uhhh lightly shit my pants again. Had to waddle back home, clean my shorts and underpants, set them out to dry, shower, and then go on a walk for the third goddamn time of the day.

And then I realized, because my tummy knows that time of the day is bathroom time, I should really be more careful to relieve myself before heading out, or if that's not relevant, make sure I'm not being careless with the release of various gases and losing control of my sphincter while trying to come up with witty responses because that might not end well.

ugh. what is even happening.

Yeah I'm not paying other people's unpaid bills, I'd just rather you get into trouble

 For the second time this year I got my old Boston apartment's utilities bill sent in the collections for me. The first time I was scared and annoyed enough to let it pass and just pay it. But no more. It's a really big amount, 550 dollars-ish and I just won't deal with it. It's not fair that whoever it is is bothering me with the issue. So I've given my old roommates a heads-up and asked if the bill was theirs. If it was then I just expect them to pay the money and be done with it, I'll pay the collectors. If not (not them or unwilling to pay), I'll contest the charges, and let the utility company know that I wasn't in the apartment anymore, get this out of my credit score, and let them figure out who to charge. Don't care much if anybody else is in trouble, because bro, it's not my goddamn problem.

Rest early in the day, things escalate unexpectedly, friend talk from hotel lobby, uneventful Airport trip, yummiest potbelly sandwich for lunch, good naps in the plane, yellow cab home, Bombay burger pricey dinner [Fri 15]

In my head I had built up all these grandiose plans to go to Bombay market, do shopping blah blah blah in the morning, but none of them ended up happening and I just had a nice long sleep until late morning. Then I packed up my belongings, checked out and spent couple of hours in the hotel lobby. Reached out to couple of friends about some slight interesting things happening and possible escalations but there wasn't much substance lets say.

Ordered an uber ride 2.5 hours before the flight time, and had a very uneventful security checkin at the airport. Got a large sandwich at the Potbelly sandwich, and ahhh potbelly do I love thee so much. So freakn' much. Sandwich and chips for lunch was hugely rewarding.

Got couple of hours of really good naps, and couple of hours of uncomfortable seating.

After landing in Seattle didn't want to waste time on the online rideshares so just got a taxi to home. Relaxed for a while, then went to Bombay Burger for dinner. Spent 27 buckaroos there, a paneer tikka burger, a fries, an order of samosa chat and a mango juice. Yeah it was expensive for what it was but this is Seattle so it seemed okay. Besides I hope(d) to comp my work for the meal.

Came back home and had a hearty sleep thanks to the big Indian dinner.

It's silly to worry about your coworkers being chummy with each other but here we are

 So the first night in Boston, all the coworkers I hung out with went to three/four different restaurants bars and restaurants guzzling beer like camels with water. Those drunk people got super chummy and friendly with each other, to the point that I was insecure if I should be as interested in forming friendships and good interpersonal relationships with coworkers. Another point with drunk coworkers, there was also a point in time where I was concerned something exciting not in a good way might happen between various people and it wouldn't be great since they were all married with kids etcetera. The good news was I went to bed way before that situation went anywhere so I didn't have to see it or hear about it.

And the next day I realized it was just drunk people being drunk and there was no real substantial interpersonal relationships being made, a big relief.

Maggiano's Boston: A review

We went to Maggiano's for the team lunch on the Wednesday that we were in Boston.

Review: it's a boring old stodgy Italian restaurant with old cutlery, really really large serving plates, decorations and carpeting straight out of the 50's (the 1850's perhaps) and a very affordable price.

I got bruschetta for appetizer and eggplant parm for dinner. A spoonful of a coworker's tiramisu, and a creme brulee (tiny) for desserts.

I wasn't a fan of the ambience. I wasn't a fan of their 'grandma' plates and cutlery. The brushcetta was decent, though I've had better experience with TJ's bruchetta and bread. The eggplant parm was very...60's. So much noodles, and not enough flavor.

The desserts were just okay.

It caused me the worst bloatedness I've had to experience in the US in the last few years. I wouldn't go there again, even if somebody offered to pay for it. I'd go for a much cheaper, tastier, and more casual burrito place such as El Jefe's instead.

The big disgusting houseflies have invaded my apartment again, and now I know where they come from!

 The big disgusting houseflies that have blue-green tails have made a reappearance in my apartment. They were here last year and the year before, around this exact time of the year, and I was always befuddled where they came from and what could be done to not have them be in my apartment.

Turns out it's not really my fault, it's either one of the other apartments, or the general foyer area that's a breeding ground for those pests, and they slide in from the space between the door and the floor. Sneaky buggers. So fucking disgusting. I've been spraying water on them using the plant sprayer and that make them heavier and fall to the floor, but it's unclear they actually die. There are a couple of dead flies on the window sill, but they could be last year's remnants for all I know.

Wonder what the actual breeding area is, and what exact steps I can do to forever eliminate them.

5 actual reasons I don't read when I should

1.  When I'm on my phone, it's to distract me from stress or hunger, and those two emotions/moods are not conducive to reading.
   
   
2. Phone-browsing can be done in small, unrelated chunks, as a slight distraction, but book-reading needs at least some focus, and an ability to recall the content that was last read.
   
   
3. I'm reading so many different things I'm reading at a time, sometimes it's a hassle to decide what I want to read.
   
   
4. I often get too caught-up in the reading, and spend hours and hours, of otherwise-planned time, to read, so writing is too-engaging to do casually.
   
   
5. I'm lazy and books seem like a lot of work.
   

I do two important presentations, people love 'em all, Maria's Taqueria for lunch, rushed meetings, recovery day after work, El Jefe's for dinner, amazing discovery [Thu 14]

At work I gave two pretty important presentations: one for the discussions we had had the morning before, and one technical talk that everybody found funny and so very entertaining.

There was no catered lunch thankfully, so we went to Maria's Taqueria for lunch. It got quite late by the time we got back, so I had to stuff it in my mouth. I messed up the order and just got jalepeno as an extra addon. Still, it was the best meal I had had in Boston to that point.

The next three hours of meetings were pretty rushed because there was a lot of ground to cover, and not enough time. Soon enough all the Irish folks left for the airport, I bid fairwell to the managers, and went to my hotel room. Slept for several hours and chatted up friends.

At about 12.30 in the morning I was really really hungry and needed something to eat or else I wouldn't go to sleep. So I walked over a couple of blocks late at night to El Jefe's.

The line was shockingly long. 15-minute long. I got a generous serving of quesadilla with burrito contents, plus plantain inside, and a side of plantain. It was so so so fucking good. Even without the plantains. But with the plantains it was heaven. It was by a long shot the best food I'd had there. And the prices were so cheap, like I'd eat there on a weekly basis if I lived nearby. So very fortunate man.

Full in my tummy, and content in my heart, came back to my apartment at 1.30 ish and slept a very good sleep.

A review of taking the yellow taxi from Seattle airport to home

After landing in Seattle I was so very ready to get home, and not in the mood to wait for dozens of minutes to get a Lyft ride. Luckily enough, there was a Yellow taxi right in front of my eyes and I got in without thinking much. Easy in, normal ride as it gets, got dropped off across the street, paid in credit card and got a receipt in the email. It was an excellent, hassle-free experience, one that I will likely use in the future over online ride-shares, specially if somebody is paying my taxi bills. Comfortable, and much more convenient than online rideshare, I'm so glad I did it.

Bird of paradise leaves are out in full glory!

I might have written about this earlier in the month, but my Bird of Paradise plant had two leaves come out in recent weeks. The smaller leaf 'matured' early, and it looked like it'd be short, but it's been growing taller and taller. The second, much larger leaf took a whole lotta sweet time fully unfurling, and then unfurled in half for like 10 days. Couple of days ago I tried forcing it to furl more fully but that didn't work. Gave it a waggle yesterday, and now the leaf is fully open. The other side was still curled, but come today and it's fully out, almost flat. The color is still bright green/yellowish, but it'll green up soon enough after several weeks of late-September sunlight. My plant now has 14 leaves, which is really bushy for the relatively small plant that it is.

Sad realization: I don't find my favourite Spilled Milk podcast funny anymore

There's not much to write beyond the topic. Maybe it's my tastes that have changed, or maybe it's the hosts who have, perhaps it might be the format. But one of my favourite podcasts, Spilled milk, one which I have been listening to the longest since 2015, has been feeling less and less funny as the episodes go by. I barely listen to new episodes anymore. It's possible I've been influenced by my sister, and Ng, both of whom don't enjoy the show as much as I did, which they've communicated to me. Or maybe I've just outgrown the humor. and the slow pace.

I submitted a really silly recording and story about my scary auditory experience to 20khz podcast

This will be short: the 20khz folks wanted their listeners to send them personal stories of experiences with sounds or audio of any kind, and I sent them a 2-minute audioclip of my experience as a teenager (16-17) from back in those days when I'd confuse my own breath for somebody else breathing next to me, and that would be incredibly terrifying. Their editor thanked me for me, but I'm extremely not confident and all muddled with the story. Whatever. They asked it to be raw and unedited, so they're going to suffer for it. But at least I'm interacting with media creators whose content I consume!

Early from bed, so many meetings, the most mediocre and tasteless 'bowl' of food, I help with meetings, rain run, belt at H&M, Italian dinner, overload with food, gassed up, random bar, run to safety [Wed 13]

 Got up as early as usual, breakfast of potatoes and eggs as standard.

Had a tonne of meetings during the day, I did really enjoy the 'unconference' thing, I helped direct one of those and it was way more productive than I thought it would be!

The lunch was tasteless and extremely disappointing, Greek salad bowls. Should have gone out of campus to get some good food.

After work went and chilled at room for like 30 minutes, then went to H&M running in the rain and bought a crap belt for 5 bucks. Ran over to the Italian restaurant Maggiano's for team dinner. The dinner was just okay, big serving sizes, 'reasonable' prices and really really old interior design. Right out of the 50's.

We walked to a bar after the restaurant, people were having fun but I snuck out because it was far too busy and nosy and I was just so tired of being out till late with coworkers.

The food gave me awful tummy-ache, but I ran in the rain and went to sleep. But before that, I spent a couple of hours converting an essay I had written into a powerpoint presentation for a speech thing next day. chatgpt did all the work.

A review of that 'Greek bowl' lunch catered by our work cafeteria

This is the review of the 'Greek bowl' lunch we were given, the vegetarian option with chickpeas at work on the second day of Boston outing, it was catered by our work cafeteria.

The tzatziki sauce tasted like it was made using vanilla yogurt. It had a 'broken' gel-like texture, the sort they have in Nepal for mayo. I hate Nepali mayo. It didn't add anything good to the meal. It was best avoided.

The best thing that can be said about the rest of the meal was that it was technically food, and one could identify the distinct individual components that were used and understand they were greek-inspired. It was tasteless, didn't have interesting texture, and everything seemed to have been boiled.

The best part of the meal (from a different bowl, mind you) was rice and mayo, which I took couple of spoonfuls to fill my tummy because I didn't want to go hungry for the day.

Yeah, I'm not going to be getting those catered lunches in the future.

Top six things to do to entertain yourself at a new city with nothing to do but no time

1. Always a good play to just sleep and recover from the hectic days of work
   
   
2. Walk in the rain
   
   
3. Walk in the train?
   
   
4. Chase rabbits in the park?
   
   
5. masturbation, the final solution to boredom
   
   
6. 'microwave cooking'
   

9 Lies to tell people to explain away your secret funCation in the mountains

The top two have already been tried!

1. I'm going to hike as a part of my cousin's bachelor party.
   
   
2. going on a hiking trip to the basecamp with friends who make plans in extremely short notice.
   
   
3. 'have to fix the visa issue'
   
   
4. celebrating festivals with the family
   
   
5. I forgot all my winter clothes in Nepal and need them so bad
   
   
6. going to thailand and vietnam for vacation
   
   
7. they're shooting a movie and want me to be the hero
   
   
8. they want me to run in the by-elections
   
   
9. I find it just as confusing, but apparently they want me to perform a gastric bypass surgery.
   

6 fun tips to make your boring work meetings more colorful and interesting

1. Wear a neon-pink tutu.
   
   
2. Treat your presentation as an opportunity to do a standup routine.
   
   
3. Shout phrases like SEXX and MONEY randomly in the middle of your talk so people are on their toes and nobody gets to sleep well.
   
   
4. Streamers, streamers all the time!
   
   
5. Read excerpts from Harry Potter in your slides.
   
   
6. Song and interpretive dance to explain the more difficult content to people.
   

Busy day of work, egg and potatoes breakfast, bready pizza lunch, hanging out with coworkers after work at Versus, mingling, Beantown Pub, keeping up, latenight at Precinct, late to bed [Tue 12]

First day of work at the Boston office, the morning was pretty standard, the bathroom supplies were nice. Met everybody, old and new, and got the scrambled-eggs and potatoes for breakfast. Couple of meetings and ice breakers later, it was time for lunch. Catered lunch, by cafeteria, it was bready and okay to it. I had a slice, and some desserts because the food wasn't that great.

After work, we went to Versus for games, and I filled myself up on snacks. Mingled about, got to know a decent chunk of people I didn't know. Couple of hours of appetizers later, I was one in the gang to go to Beantown pub. Folks got several drinks there, I was dry, and got quite wasted. We walked all the way to Precinct and folks got more drinks there. Coworkers got really chummy but I needed to go to piss and sleep so bad, so I finally got up and went to my room a bit before midnight. Sort of annoying because I just missed wishing a coworker happy birthday.

7 things that aren't so very fun during the plane rides

1. The sneaky farts and burbs one must do to not disgust the seatmates
   
   
2. The holding of the piss and shit one must do to not bother those between you and the restroom a lot.
   
   
3. That annoying, irritating background hum
   
   
4. No place to put my head comfortably to nap, what's up with that!
   
   
5. Swollen feet!
   
   
6. Loud, talkative people
   
   
7. Backache and footache due to the uncomfortable economy seats!
    

8 excuses I'll try out on friends to avoid the 27 mile hike this weekend

1. Oh my knee hurts terribly, I don't think I could complete the entire trail.
   
   
2. My manager's just scheduled a super important meeting at the end of the day on Friday, and I've already tried skipping it twice.
   
   
3. Actually, I'm getting married that day, oops just checked my calendar, sorry!
   
   
4. I'm very sensitive to altitude changes, I get sick climbing the four flights of stairs to my apartment!
   
   
5. Diarrhoea issues, sorry.
   
   
6. I need to catch up on my work-work.
   
   
7. It's my sister's birthday and I need to wish her.
   
   
8. I have a date that day, oops (lol)
   

Nine careers that are most definitely NOT for me

1. Adult video performer, because I'm not much of a performer and it's way to hard of a work for me heh
   
   
2. A submariner, because I would keep farting all the time and everybody would so fucking hate me already.
   
   
3. A fighter-jet pilot because I'd keep bailing out of the plane and losing those goddamed expensive machines that nobody could find after it crashed (relevant heh heh)
   
   
4. A soldier, because I don't want to die
   
   
5. A fluffer, all the hard work of a adult video performer, but without the glory
   
   
6. Astronaut: too much commitment man!
   
   
7. Lion wrangler: too dangerous, i'm not that into Lions, and the circus industry is dying anyway so I'd always be worrying about job security.
   
   
8. Museum security guard. Nahhh, I'd be too tempted.
   
   
9. shit collector: dirty job, not enough money OR recognition. Need at least one there!
   

List of things that I don't like too much about Off Menu Podcast

1.  The annoying pappadom or bread question, it's apart of the format but kinda annoying and pointless
   
   
2. The other listeners, apparently, and their bizarre anti Rachel from Cats does Countdown stance.
   
   
3. Some guests who just won't stop talking about themselves and their sales pitch and forget they're doing a food comedy podcast
   
   
4. Really really annoying ads that have been popping up in recent days, those strange French (?) ads that make me feel like a secret agent or something
   
   
5. The whole genie concept does get tiring after a while, truth be told.
   

Morning packup, missed belt, airport ride, banh mi brunch, delayed but uneventful flight, late to the hotel, the most ripoff expensive eggplant sandwich, night walk in the rain in the park, latenight coworker chat [Mon 11]

 I'm writing exactly a week after this Monday, on the evening, because literally nothing got written during the week as I was far too tired from long days of working and coworker interacting. And two days for recovery seems reasonable before getting back to writing, innit?

Packed my bags 30 minutes before heading out to the airport, fairly confident I finally put in everything. Unfortunately not, my trouser belt was left out.

Took an uber ride to the airport, the security line went pretty quickly. Went to a vietnamese restaurant and got a banh mi for brunch. Good but not filling enough.

Flight was delayed by 1.5 hours, no big deal, kept reading whatever that I was reading at the time. Flight was completely uneventful, got an uber and went to the Hotel. Love how close they've made the uber/lyft stand to the Boston airport, all so convenient!

Got to the hotel super late, basically everything had shut down. Went to this stupid takeout place and got an eggplant sandwich. 27 buckaroos for an extremely mediocre eggplant sandwich. Don't think I'll ever go there again. Worst meal in terms of price to value ratio.

Took the sandwich to Boston public garden and ate there, walked around Boston Common, the theater district, saw the college kids there, and all the way back to the hotel. Was about to get a cup of hot choco before going to bed when I saw a group of Irish coworkers in the lounge. Spent like 1 hour or 1.5hrs talking to them, and finally went to sleep at 12.30.

Me? A Guru? Why not!

What is the self,
they ask me,
the waylaid ones,
and I speak out
the few crumple pages
in the shelves
of my brain.
And they go away
amazed, interested,
and even mildly
impressed
at what can
be best described as
warm to mediocre.

How do I
they ask me
become me,
my true self
in front of all,
they ask me,
over and over
and the solution
remains the same,
always and forever.
Love thyself,
I tell them,
and the world will love you
and they go away
impressed at the wisdom
of a sage
a boring one,
but still.

I wonder
sometimes,
Me,
I think,
they're treating me
as a guru,
full of wisdom
and advice,
what a world!
And then...
see everybody else
giving out advice,
you know what
all things considered
I'm not the worst.

Let me

 Let me drink,
from the fountain
Of you.

You, the one
With those ripe, juicy lips
Ripe with desire
Ready to burst
At the softest of touch.

Let me drown,
deep within the
endless pool of ecstasy
Of you.

You, the one
with those plump breasts
Like sweet summer fruit
Thick, overflowing, with juice
of yearning
For one who dares touch.

Let me burn,
down to the ashes
In the infernal fire of desire
That is you.

You, the one
with eyebrows as the bows of Gods
Arched, tight, taut, sharp
Ready to fire the arrows of lust
At mere mortals, long last,
who can't resist, not a chance.

Let me be lost,
In the cold deep darkness
of the unceasing night
That is you.

You, the one
with your almond eyes
inviting, playful,
And drunk on life,
and
with your moonlike face
bright shining light
cooling away the night.

Let me be buried,
deep within
in the soft, warm, supportive
unyielding Earth that is you,
whose earthy musky scents
of desire and invitation
pervade through digital space
and disable all logical thoughts
and processes,
bury me so deep
I lose myself
in you forever.

I am not a poet

I must remind you
This is something else
I'm bad at too,
I am not a practitioner
not am I an amateur
just a random guy
with a journal
who throws out a jumble
to fill those pages,
oh my!

No no no no no
don't count on me
to write you a rhyme
because it is a crime
to get those words rhyming
not just bad, I'm nonsensical
so don't judge me
if the quality is
just so fickle.

Is it a surprise then,
i don't write all that much
and people rarely
get to read
because I'm not a poet
just a guy
in front of the laptop.

Submit!

 Your desires:
secret,
hidden,
forever forbidden
in a cage
of your own making,
find an escape
the really long way out,
and comeback...
with a retribution..

***

A full-body
infection:
a speeding heart,
a blushing face
a giggling demeanor
and
a
thrumming (thrumming, thrumming)
lady part,
your body has
lost it mind...
And the cure:
as they know from dogs,
a cold shower
to overpower
your base desire.

The cold water
will smother, Surely,
the embers of fire
that cause you to burn,
but what water can douse
fires deep within
that envelope you periodically
with hot flowing liquid,
that burns your skin
and exposes the feelings within?

So surrender now
to the sweet warm flame,
weaken your sturdy knees
and fall down and yield
to the intoxicating haze,
close your eyes and breathe in deep
and see within yourself
what my eye sees:
an Apsara, conquerer of the sages
of the seven worlds
a ball of intense flame,
that shall soon explode
into ball of ecstatic shame.

I feel a bit better, 3 eggs with veggie kofta rice lunch, long grooming sesh, several rounds of walks at Volunteer park, alternate rock concert, sandwiches with bruschetta for dinner, cleaning kitchen and writing [Sun 10]

 I was not feeling well the day before, because of the reasons of intense conversation, but this day I felt better, recovering with my emotions.

For lunch I had the TJ's veggie kofta rice, with 3 fried eggs on top.

Spent like three hours or so cleaning up my beard and shaving and tryina look nice.

Went to the Volunteer park for a walk, and took several rounds of it. There was an alternate-rock band, a scooby-doo-like music kind, and it was decent, nowhere as good as Kalimba for sure.

Had cheese and bread, and bread and bruschetta for dinner, and cleaned up the kitchen real good, hadn't cleaned it since N's arrival. 

Wrote a great deal of amount in the evening, almost got caught up in it's entirety which is great because I write this 8 days later, after the Boston trip.

I'd be going to Boston the following day and had to prepare for it.

The proud Irish

It is not a stereotype,
but a culture,
I am told,
if they actually
do the things
they are known for,
In a somewhat
related note
let me tell you this
nobody,
and I mean nobody
can keep up
with the Irish
and their drinking
of beers,
of all types.
Yiiikes.

Circumstances and self, a wild poem

 Your Self is 'it', because it doesn't know any better
And when it knows, it might be something else,
And do I want that something else?
Do I know what your self wants to be?
Do you? Does anybody? That's what I'm afraid of:
The self becoming its own self
And the unpredictability,
of what the self turns out to be.

We are all victims
of our original
circumstances
after
all.
And when circumstances change,
when we get more agency
To change the self we are
to move towards the self we want to be
The possibilities are endless
And the results, unpredictable.
How do i know which self you will choose.
How do i know the self are now and the self you will become
Are compatible?

Grow up man

Dictated to google recorder, and heavily edited.

Grow up, man!
I want to say,
It's time to be a fucking man
We're not boys, no more
And we've got responsibilities
Things to do worlds to conquer
Lives to live...
I want to say,
What the hell are you doing?
Do you even know where this is going?
Are you in control of your own self? What has changed since you were 18? Are you still the boy that I knew from way back?
I really want to ask.
But i can't
because i know the answer.
People have not grown up.
They're just. Young boys.
They were always
And will be maybe.

What the fucking fuck, man.
Like, weren't we supposed to grow up, all of us?
And how that was such a big deal.
And how much effort and pain and suffering, we put into growing up.
Like, what the hell were you doing then?
What did you get out of all the pain and suffering?

What did you get out of all of that?
And where do you want to go next?
Because it sounds like where you want to be at
Is a medicated heaven
Where you don't have to deal with the realities of your existence
Where other people don't exist.
And you can survive forever in your dream reality
And i want to say, Grew up, man
You're a mature fucking adult
You've been fortunate to be where you're at right now and you've got the tools
To deal with your troubles like a goddamn adult
Where are you? Where the fuck are you?

And what the fuck are you doing, man?
Like what the fuck? Got to grow up, dude, let's grow up, man
I want to say,
But it's not gonna matter.
They're not gonna change the boys. They'll always be.
The Boys.
You know. Chilling.
Relaxing.
Getting blazed beyond the reality.
Six in an apartment.
Living the bachelor life... But, until when?
When does reality come in knocking?
Or has it already? And they told it to fuck off because they're not ready?
Because the world outside has changed.
It's just them, that hasn't.

And i wish i really, really wish. I could talk them into living the reality of their existence.