k

K garya
k
K garne
aba
Kataa jane
k khaane
Kaaile aune
kasari lekhne
k padhne
k soongne
k doobney
k herne
kata udhne
kasai ladney
macha samatney?
fuul odney?
k bhaneko?
k khana
kallae bhanya
kaile
kunbelaa
aba?
Kaile ta
K bhayo?
Kalle bhanya?
aba?
so korny
mouthwash
myao myao biralo
storm ayo
jaado bho
testai bhayo
gadyang gudung
bassa
aba?
k?
k.
yay

30 things

1.  Eggs
   
   
2. 'fetch'
   
   
3. a global cabal of evil people very well-coordinated and competent but nobody can detect them but a bunch of losers who don't have anything better to do
   
   
4. leprechauns
   
   
5. expensive weddings
   
   
6. pomelos, yum yum yum
   
   
7. 'some son of a bitch came here and messed it up' situation
   
   
8. white backgrounds
   
   
9. aftershave
   
   
10. cruises
    
    
11. the other kind of cruises
    
    
12. that nostalgia you get for things you never experienced
    
    
13. bone-chilling winters
    
    
14. horses, for some reason
    
    
15. the latin word for gold
    
    
16. car reselling companies
    
    
17. ceo's who will say literally anything to take their payday to the wazooo
    
    
18. cute animals?
    
    
19. mittens
    
    
20. marathon
    
    
21. people getting annoyed for no good reason and with no warning
    
    
22. horsemeat
    
    
23. standup comedy
    
    
24. the one awesome ring of power
    
    
25. self check-ins
    
    
26. four-headed gods
    
    
27. crazy hijinks done sober
    
    
28. being shit on by others
    
    
29. out-of-fashion mustaches
    
    
30. 'beep beep'
    

Plans ahead

Going to Nepal yeah, that's what's happening.

In two days, yep.

For a month, yes sir.

Missed the most exciting wedding that was about to happen, yippidy doodah.

But still have weddings of my cousin, close friends, and acquaintances ahead.

Lots of time in a hotel. Hanging out with new friends and old. Hanging with the fam. Hanging with our old a levels gang who will be all back together after eleven years. Except two of them will have partners now, both of who are already close part of the gang in several ways.

And then possibly do comedy.

And write novels.

And try to meet new people.

Get caught up with family because things aren't so nie, yaano?

Try to go on a hiking trip, dunno if that's gonna work though.

Try to meet SS and the rest of the Boston gang, hopefully they're going to be free hen I'm in Boston.

Figuring computer stuff out, cleaning and getting stuff in order, Kizuki ramen with boys, meeting some boys on way back, hang with the gang till very late [Tue 30]

 Spent the first two hours of the day fixing the stupid broken computer, I don't understand what's up with it, the password won't work for the first five times, but if I do it the seventh or eighth time after restart it works but it's not consistent. I was sure this was it, and afrid I'd have to order a work laptop, except I wouldn't be around and it'd suck. But like whatever.

Since I'd be leaving for some time, I got my stuff in order, talked to people, made arrangements. fter work I watched lots of tv and wrote a lot, because that's what I do, still unsure about where the future lay though.

In the evening went to dinner t the Kizuki Ramen with the boys. Had a veggie Ramen with tofu and eggs, it was alright. They added 18% tip automatically, and then wanted me to add like 7-15% on top of hat, it's insane, when is it ever gonna end, it's insane. Also met two guys from my college, cool dudes, we talkd a bit about location etcetera. Also the fact that how everybody talks about FANG and how much money everybody is making and wants to make kinda' bums me out, like a lot lot lot. It's so annoying.

Anyway the three of us, Sk, Aks and I came back home, on the way right in front of Rhino Room we met two guys who'd just moved from CapHill to Belltown. Since Sk is moving to this neighborhood too we talked a bit about that.

Came home, watched tv, got high, drank tea, talked farewell with the boys, and it was already 3.15 in the morning Eastern time. Sent the boys again, took an antihistamine, and forced myself to go to bed, in the living room, because sleeping in bedroom is for noobs, sometimes it's great to sleep in the common room.

First day back, trouble getting started, last of the leftovers, burrito and eggs with leftovers, hau hau shopping, drop by at BC's, serious decision, lifechanging plans [Mon 29]

 First day back from a long luxurious vacation, I got enough sleep but the stupid laptop took forever to setup. I was fairly certain the laptop was done for, and worried that I'd need to get it ordered and all of that, but it turned out fine.

For lunch I fried the leftover rice, got some egg, and then made a burrito out of the whole thing. The rice and eggs was a brilliant combo.

After work I walked to Hau Hau, spent an hour shopping, solid fifty bucks or so. On the way back dropped by BC and gifted her boba mix. Came back, and thought a bunch. Talked to SB (dc), N, PL, and AKS on the phone. Called home. Decided that maybe it was time for a sudden decision, serious decision.

Bought a bunch of tickets. Called AKS again. Got stuff ordered from Amazon. Couldn't eat or write, or sleep properly, so I smoked up a bit and went to sleep. Except I got too hungry and got muncies and made a ridiculous snack with peanut butter, honey banana and hot sauce inside tortilla. A dessert burrito, if you may. It was alright.

Serious decisions were made, and the consequences will be felt for months and years, possibly for the rest of one's life.

324 rules for winners, a summary

17. Never eat alone.

33. Always claim the fart, even if it's not yours. Always.

212. Any woman with the name Emma will just break your heart and you know it.

244. If you don't have time for a full shower, a quick rub-and-tug followed by the roller on your neck and armpit.

251. A thick large pillow is an acceptable replacement for a partner.

259. An old, dried, ginger is a perfect spice to add to your food.

263. If you didn't know the rules, you're not as liable for the punishment, nobody told you.

280. "Ate too many beans and am farting all over the place" is a fine excuse, to skip religious ceremonies to work meetings.

288. It wasn't avocado, but you knew that already dintcha, you spice-lover?

324. Invite people over for dinner. 

Sleeping in the living room has its own charm

 I live in a one-bedroom apartment, which means I have a nice little bedroom, a decently sized living room, separate kitchen and sizeable toilet. I bring this up not to brag but to explain that I do have a bedroom I can sleep comfortably in.

And yesterday I didn't take advantage of it. I wasn't even watching tv and got lazy. I was just too bored of sleeping in the same old bed day after day after day, so I thought, Hmm I should just sleep in the living room, not even watch tv, just for fun. And that's what I did.

Because, like why not, right? What's wrong with sleeping on a couple of cushions and pretend you're camping or idk just on a sleepover. It's great to change things up a bit, and that's my very boring way of doing it.

The eggheads got themselves into a crisis

The eggheads didn't know what to do.

They had been taught to flee in danger, prowl in case of overwhelming power and negotiate when nothing else worked. What they had know clue on how to deal with was upon being proposed romantically by somebody.

It happened.

So uhh you guys what what uh where this is what are the rules, the chief egghead asked his council. Silence. Nervous coughing. A loud yawn from somebody in the front.

Soo errr what is it they want from us, a brave soul from the back shouted without rising up.

They're saying they want to take us out on a date, as a group, and we can choose whoever we want to go out with from them.

Ohh where are they taking us out, somebody else chirped.

It is, hmm, I didn't ask, I didn't ask because I was too confused as to what was happening, so I didn't ask. It was strange.

We should go, shouted somebody from the back.

Yeaayyy, girls, we're gonna get our turn already, said somebody else.

Girls, girls girls girls, the chant began!

NO, no, we must evaluate this, calculate the pros and cons of this interaction, this could be a trap!

Boooo, the crowd began chanting. Booooo! We. Want. Girls. We Wat. Girls! They shouted.

We must make this decision with full consideration of all the variables, we can't just...make a rash decision out of our instincts, the head of the eggheads droned on!

All you have to do is trust and climb the rocketship

When everybody is here we can show them all the things you know, how things work, how it'd be when everybody joins in. It's like a family thing, they'll understand right, because if one of us does well, so will everyone else, like a rising ship raises all other ships. We are here to help everybody it should be clear to them no? Or do you think they'll take it negatively with everything else happening, it's pretty awful.

How can people be so ridiculous, it's insane they're outright reject all the good ideas. Or do you think they're being ignorant knowingly because they hate us? Do you think  all those random strangers hate us, hate everybody basically, anybody who's doing well which is why they can't stand us? Makes sense right because nothing else doe, why they would talk and post all that crap we've been hearing. It's like they're a cult, a cult of...poverty, they're not going to go anywhere, and they don't want anybody doing better than themselves either! Nobody can manage to be so awful I thought and yet everyday I'm proven wrong.

Imagine if everybody joined us. Getting rich, being able to buy that second car, or even the third car, imagine that. A second house  third house how do you go about nnot wanting that, peace prosperity for everybody!

All you have to do is climb, and believe, the ladder of success and progress and new technology! Modernize, flow with the world, accept the freedom it provides and the wealth of riches it brings. It's an incredible opportunity for them, it's not hard work. Don't even need all the other bullshit! Progress! This is how everybody gets rch people if they went with us and agreed!

I guess I'm the sort of guy who casually gifts on #givingTuesday

I have been donating to my college for a couple of years and it's no big deal but after spending a hella effing tonne of money more recently on various things, a whole lotta monies maaan I'm gonna go broke so soon at this rate, more expenses than income, I decided to donate to a good cause anyway. And it's alright, I don't mind. The student hardship fund is a good cause, I've been in a position to take advantage of such a fund, so I'm happy to be passing on the good deed forward. The only spiffy situation is where I may have given half of the average donation made this year, but I imagine that's meaningless, I bet the media n donation was way closer to mine, it's just some high-flying goobers are throwing hella lotta monies to the private university I went to. But as I have said in the past, if I were a billionaire, I'd pass on hundreds of millions to the place, no concerns at all.

so happy hashtag givingTuesday.

jeeez how am i gonna come with a laugh routine outta nowhere myaaan.

And then things come round and round, what is life even

Six or seven months ago I wrote like an effing long list of things I was excited about and looking forward to for the rest of the year. It didn't work out because of gc issues, because I moved West, because of a bunch of external factors that made it impossible for me to align reality and my plans or the year.

So anyway I'm in a situation to relive most of my aspirations, plans that I made earlier this year. Such as catching up with a tonne of people in Kathmandu, attending a tonne of weddings of near and dear ones (besides Shri, whose wedding I'm very pissed at pissed but that's one we'll have to live with) and potentially -- and I'm very afraid of the possibilities here and don't want to own up to anything at all because it's scary and opening myself up to criticism from everybody is terrible -- doing amateur night at the comedy club, a stand up routine I mean, a set, that lasts ten or fifteen minutes. I don't have content, much like here, and there's no plan basically. I'll come up with something, it'll be bad but I won't be dead. Like how it's in this blog.

So it's interesting and fun no,how what I thought was all over is back in the game, and if I'd always worked towards my aspirations, never giving up on them, working on the comedy routine etcetera, I'd been hella prepared for it at this point.

The point I'm trying to make is, I should never ever ever give up on my dreams, I should even if delusional, keep at it, always imagining I'm going to be better, there's always something better that's going to happen with a project or plan or dream. Just goat it, fighting and struggling and trudging, running in the marathon, always improving my timing, because the point is not to be the best at everything all the time, it's to be constantly working harder and improving yourself, and presenting a better version of yourself to the world.

The trouble with writing and how to fix the whole situation

 Okay so yeah I haven't done the writing thing too well this year. The problem has been that I've been unable to enforce hard deadlines and timeboxing writing, and discipline is hard to come by when your days don't have a structure. So it's only been inward looking, time pass bottom of the barrel posts that don't go anywhere, the sort of thing that makes me feel not so great about my writing.

This is relevant at this exact moment because as I've been alluding to in the laast several days, I'll be traveling a bit in the foreseeable future (more on that in the next post). And if history is anything to go by, I ain't gonna be doing too well writing-wise.

SO here's the plan, if I'm feeling lazy, remember the crazy awesome feeling I get when I write, when I'm feeling unmotivated, go to a cafe and just write, find a good workspace, and separate a working space that i'm going to be working off of. That's the plan on how I'm not going to let this month be a repeat of last Jan/Fen (2020), when not much was written.

I don't know what the quality of the writing is going to be, it could be amazing, earth-shattering, novel quality, or it could go down from there. For I know there's always more way to go down.

Anyway, hopefully exciting times are ahead man, I don't want to be in the 'distracting himself with reddit and hackernews and that shit, maaan I so want to be productive and social and outgoing and keep myself busy no matter what, spending quality time with friends family lovers and general acquaintances. So want to be there.

I want to write today's journal entry right now, but I literally cannot

 So I'm really really trying to set this writing thing right, but there's too much happening, too many thoughts racing, concerns arising, and excitement rearing its head that I literally cannot process anything properly. I want to write today's journal entry right now, on time, when things are so fresh in my mind, but my body is almost pathologically rejecting, it's quite extreme, hard to deal with, tricky, a big fat problem we got here baub.

And what is there to do, guess I could meditate and get my breathe in control, normalize blood pressure, let things go and flow along with the wind, so to speak, but wouldn't that just waste my time, it's time to sleep okay, not time to chillax and do hey mon, hey mon like the tourists in jamaica, I dunno, really hope things work out, it's easy to get excited af but harder to rein in your emotions and stuff.

Like, whatever, man.

Trader joe's sizes are actually really good, if you don't need the 'authentic' stuff

 So I bought tahini and harissa from Trader Joe's for the first time yesterday.

Traditionally I was rather unsupportive of the concept of buying ethnic spices from the chain because they're overpriced, not as good as the 'real' ones, and not a great experience overall.

Then I bought barissa and tahini from the legit stores, and barely used a quarter before I had to throw them away.

Would I rather buy less-than-authentic stuff, pay maybe bit more per volume, or buy the great stuff for more money, but for far less per volume, and barely use a quarter of that? It's the classic costco conundrum, and in this particular case the answer for me is very clear. I want to spend less money, be less wasteful, and have the pleasure of actually finishing something.

 Wonder if that says anything at all about my attitude towards life.

Context matters for philosophy

 This is not supposed to be a poem but there's not much to write, and I introduced it originally as a poem, so here goes nothing.

So I asked
If we seek, we can't find,
How do we know when we've found?
The question raised by Siddartha
In Herman Hesse's book
Of his namesake.

Now I know the answer,
For Siddartha, of the book
Is no real philosopher,
He is a character, a fictional one
whose philosophy is not
That of the Buddha
In any case,
He is a follower
Of the Tao school of buddhism
Much like western stoics
Who question searching and seeking
And holding tight
To the world.

That answers my question,
For the Taos,
Have more answers than they have questions,
For they never bother with asking
The right ones
Match the answers,
TO whatever you may
They say,
Without explaining
Where that goes.

Answers are great
42 is the best one,
But an answer without the proper question,
Is worse than an oar, forever without a boat.
I seek to be a boatman,
Answers are important,
But the elucidating questions are even more.

And that's how I discover,
Context matters
For Philosophy.

This is about you

And when all
Is silent on the Northern front,
Why does the bugle play
And why do the flags wave
Are we all just,
Stupid fucking leaves
Floating down the river
Or is there any
Boatman...er person,
Amongst us
Rowing themself to safety
And stability and progress
And behind whom we may
Take cover and drive
It won't be our journey, no
But we won't be leaves, pushed
Around, we will be
Leaves who can choose
The boat to follow.

Then I ask,
Why are we,
Not boats, I mean
Why am I not
Leading, driving, rowing
Towards this bank
And the next
I may not know the destination
But I do know my up from down
My North from South
The West from East.

Allow me
To be your boat,
The lovely leaf of you
Let's get to the bank
Hand, in hand.

Why the EFFING shittt did I do that

So anyway I made a very expensive and impulsive decision that maybe was fine in retrospect, but I don't know and now I'm thinking, what is it that came over me that made me take that sudden decision, out of literally nowhere with no persuading or convincing or anything like that. Like nobody told me anything ever, I just thought, stupidly, you know what, I don't know.

Pause. For an hour, when I walked all across my apartment, thinking.

Now it makes a lot more sense. I called AKS and talked to him, and he said when I was not sober I'd told him that this was a real possibility and I liked doing this a lot, like playing with the deadlines, and that he shouldn't be surprised if I made such a decision. Which means I guess this was stalking the subconcious, and came to the surface just recently, which is like fine, whatever.

Wild things happen, potentially poor decisions are made without much thought or consideration

 It is to be seen if the decisions are as bad or awful as one fears, but one thing is for certain, wild things keep happening in one's life when one is not thinking straight, and one should be more careful and mindful about making plans. But then it can also be said that if one were to follow the 'live in the moment' mantra, such cautiousness would be extraordinarily unnecessary and often a limiting factor in helping one figure things out, limiting one's options with everything.

It is obvious that the consequences of instantly-made decisions have long tails and are often not clear. The last time I made such a decision, it worked out well but it pushed me into the plateau of stability right when it was absolutely not needed. This specific wild act of taking charge and doing things will hopefully not fuck me over entirely.

Fingers crossed.

Resting, IASIP binging, leftotver lunch, TJ's trip, writing, last day of holidays [Sun 28]

 I write this on the evening of this very day, the last day of my 9-day vacation and I hate to say this but oh dear, where did the days go because they just flew by.

Because I got home at 5am, I didn't feel guilty sleeping until noon. After which I cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed the living room, took care of the plants, maan I need to get anti-gnat medication soon. Watched a lot of IASIP in the background, even as I worked and showered.

For lunch I warmed up the rest of the mapo tofu, potatoes, kimchi and brown rice. The mapo tofu is done with, but there's still potatoes left. I made that stuff last for four or five meals, so very much got the value for my money, so very proud of that.

In the evening got the energy to go to Trader Joe's where a very friendly cashier may have been trying to flirt with me but I wasn't feeling it, low on energy, considering tomorrow's work day.

After getting back put things in place and started writing, which I'm doing until right now, 15 to eleven, which is very very late for a work day, I just needed to get caught up. There's three more planned posts that I should probably not do and instead try to sleep instead.

That's it, hopefully I'll be writing these journal posts in a more timely fashion!

Leftovers with brown rice, lots of tea, writing, IASIP binge, philosophizing, post-hol blues, family hang, pizza dinner, latenight longnight at Sk's, carshare back, very late to bed [Sat 27]

In the morning had the strangest dream about me teaching whales and hammerhead sharks (!) human philosophy, after humans had mastered inter-species communication.

Lunch was mapo-tofu, potatoes, and kimchi fried together, with brown rice. I don't mind brown rice at all if what one's eating with it is good and has strong flavor.

Had teas all day long, because I wanted to get in the habit of being ready for work. Also wrote a bunch in here.

Watched It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, several seasons probably.

Didn't feel great about having to return back to work too early.

After spending a really long time getting dressed, and in fear I'd lost my passport, headed out to SK's place. Where he was hanging out with the AS's family. Chilled and hung out with them for a couple of hours, I got pizzas from Bella Tutti, I've given them real bad reviews here in the past but actually this time around the food was decent, except nobody else liked it. So strange.

Realized the hangout was much larger when Sb came, and then a bunch of the folks from the Seattle gang, and it was a regular night hang. Didn't drink, smoked very little, had as much fun as can be had. The cool wind against my face and body as I dance to chill music as friends talk around fire at night on the 41st floor of a friend's building is quite an experience, wouldn't want to miss it.

After people left around 2.30, the three of us boys talked until maybe 4, when Sk went to bed, AK and I hung around for a bit longer, we took the carshare, he dropped me off on his way, I didn't sleep immediately, but eventually, didn't brush before going to sleep because didn't feel like it despite having drunk a lot of sweet stuff before.

Leftover rice and kimchi lunch, long walk to arboretum and back, addicted to Hulu stuff [Fri 26]

For lunch I reheated the leftover from Sichuanese Cuisine with some kimchi and it was yum.

In the afternoon I went for a long walk around town, to Arboretum and back, and it felt really good. Listened to a bunch of Off Menu podcasts too.

Watched Hulu stuff non-stop, mostly What We do In the Shadows, Bob's burger, etcetera.

Also read up on Siddartha and Herman Hess and finding and seeking and all of that, will write a quite summary of what's up with that in one of the following posts.

Sichusanese cuisine, hang with Sb and a very low-key Thanksgiving [Thu 25]

 In the morning Sb came over, we chilled for a bit and decided to get lunch at Sichuanese Cuisine which if you search the archives is by far the most reasonable family oriented restaurant in this town, a dish of ten bucks can last you three meals if you cook your own rice, I hope more family restaurants like them survived here.

In anycase, we walked over to SC and got an order of mapo tofu, beef soup for Sb, potatoes and green onion pancakes. Yum yum yum, so much leftover, but mostly for me, and as I write this three days later I'm still eating those, it's a privilege to be able to consume all of that stuff.

We got home, smoked a bunch, watched Hangama the movie which reminded me I should really either/or write a movie, create a podcast, and watched a bunch of british comedy bits from youtube, I introduced him to james acaster. Listened to some podcasts etcetera, AS asked me if I wanted to come but I was quite tired from the night before so I passed, and went to sleep watching tv yet again, which was quite fun.

Sandwich and curry brunch, writing at the library, I get hulu membership, picked up and party with AKS's family, fam chill, Flowers bar, Cha cha's, high and drunk with AKS at home [Wed 24]

 Had peanut-butter sandwich for breakfast, rice and japanese chocolate curry for dinner.

Oh forgot to mention, I invited friend BC a few days ago in one of those 'empty' days, I didn't take any pics of it which is why there's no memory or 'evidence' of it, but it happened because I remember now. That is why I should be taking photos of everything, they're a jog to the memory, and these are more like imprints of those photos more permanently, so I can remember and distinguish my days more clearly.

Went to the library, more reading and writing, the writing may have gotten intense in this case if I remember it right, lots of listening to podcasts too. Discovered that there was really cheap Hulu membership offer out there, 12 bucks for a year so I got it, and installed it in my tv later in the day.

After library I chilled at home watching the fancy new app for a bit until AKS picked me up and we hung out with his fam, had dinner, had sweet rice pancakes and just teased each other. Played a bit of cards too. Then his older brother dropped us at a bar in UW called Flowers where we waited for 30 minutes to get into a stupid student bar. They closed at 12, so we took the train, came down to CapHill and chilled at Cha Cha's until they closed too.

Then we got to my home, drank more (actually we didn't, I'm mad I had to throw out two very expensive bottles of beer that I'd bought which we opened but never drank), and smoked and got out of our minds really, AKS is annoyed at me now because he feels I'm being too much of an open an emotional person, gotta watch that.

Improvised bready lunch, library trip, hella writing, walk to North Seattle, amazing Vietnamese bowl dinner, train back, tv and sleep [Tue 23]

 For lunch I made honeybutter, something I discovered in the Midwest, and then a bowl of hummus, and had them with a couple of slices of bread, using the dip method. yum, yum, yum.

Went to the library, read a bunch of books and explored generally, returned overdue book, wrote hella lotta posts over here.

From library I went to North Seattle finally crossing the bridge that I'd try to walk over a few weeks ago, but it was closed as it had been locked in the 'open' position. It was open now so I went to UW area, AKS and fam wasn't around so I just sat at a vietnamese bistro called Sizzle and Crunch and had an incredibly filling dinner for 14 bucks. It should have been cheaper I know but everything's so very pricey these days and it could have been two solid meals if I hadn't been so intent on pushing it down my gullet.

Took the train back home because it was far too late.

Felt asleep in the living room watching tv, something I hadn't done in a long time, I gotta do that more often.

Block walk, improvised curry rice with kimchi, talking to friends and family on the phone, peanut butter sammy dinner [Mon 22]

Finally left the house, walked around the block. Had curry rice with kimchi for lunch. Called cousins in the east coast and friends so good stuff happened there. Peanut butter sandwich for dinner. Lots of movies and friends. It's holiday, vacation time, I didn't want to do much, okay!?!

Another rest and recovery day [Sun 21]

There's nothing to write about on this day, except I had rice and bread and curry. Possibly fruit too. Didn't go on walks, watched a tonne of tv all day long, and thought through things, and recovered emotionally too, this weekend was a lot of work people. No walks or anything, I have no GPS or photographic memory of this day, and it bothers be ugh.

Rest day at home [Sat 20]

 Slept, ate leftovers from the chocolate curry from the day before, recovered, drank lots of water and watched friends on tv. Lots and lots of recovery happened. That is all, not much else to write about, didn't go out on my regular walks because too tired and dehydrated and not feeling so great about myself. I guess that's something, because of Monkey Loft and just being a doofus there, I wasn't feeling so good about myself.

Last day before holidays, amazing breakfast sandwich, Friends binge, fruity dinner, innovative japanese curry and second dinner, Monkey loft, home hang [Fri 19]

 This was the last day of work before a 9-day vacation, which has ended right as I write this, it's the Sunday before the beginning of the post-vacay workweek. I've written about the vacation over multiple posts, it was alright. Anyway, back to the scheduled posts.

So because this was the last day, I was super motivated for work, and got a lot done, felt so very good.

For breakfast I had kimchi, potato patties and mayo between slices of bread, tasted so good, man I've so good at improvising with food.

After work went on a total binge of Friends, missed out on going out or anything because I was watching so much tv. Not that it was a big bother, I was FREE I WAS FREE, it was fun. Lots of holiday episodes of the series.

In the afternoon I had banana, papaya, and oranges for dinner. With yogurt. Thought that was going to be it for dinner. And then I got hungry again, so I used up all the remaining peas, chocolate and japanese curry tabs, plus the potatoes, and made a massive batch of japanese curry which I'll be talking for the several upcoming posts. Had it with rice. yum yum yum.

In the evening watched "central intelligence" the movie, it was alright, tried to pregame, didn't do so well, met of with AKS in the train station, went to downtown on the train, walked all the way to MonkeyLoft to watch BD. BD and his partner played for like 2 hours, we danced a lot, I was lost and abandoned, they threw me out at 3.30, after which we took the rideshare home, talked a bunch and went to sleep. It was alright. Lots of 'rest' days upcoming, alas.

Future stuff

what is there
up ahead the future
for us,
or you and me
and the rest of us
everybody involved
who is it making
things go slow
then oh my god
what the hell
is happening
why are we
like taking it
s o
v e r y
s. l . o . w. w.
what
the
hell
is
the
holdup there
why are we
not
rushing into
this
like stupid fools
uncaring unbothered unconcerned
about consequences
full on
into our
destiny?
it will happen
lover, you know
and so do I
must we
still play
these games?

I suck at clubbing

This is gonna be a short one, because there's not much to say, the title is a great summary of everything there is to say. When I'm sober I'm not having enough fun, when I'm not sober the fun I'm having is not remembered, and also it's not like I'm a fun person to be around when not-sober, so it's not great. Heads I lose, tails you win, this is not a good situation for me.

And yet I go, week after week after week, not getting anything in return, pretty situation thing all things considered. And wasting the entirety of the next day, always, like who even enjoys this, with them expensive drinks and uninspiring music and loud speakers and really not all that great vibe, I'm calling this, things gotta change man.

Seeking and finding: a poem

Am I seeking,
Something
Hoping to get
Exactly what I think
I need
Or am I
Looking
TO find
What I have
And who has me
And make do
Of what there is,
What must I find
To stop the search
Or is the search
A lie
For the act
Of finding
Never ends,
Because I'm not
Seeking anything
That fits my requirement,
Just something
That seems to fit
For what I need
And move on
Until what is next
TO be found
Comes along?
What's the point,
Or is asking the question
Besides the point
because you already
Got it wrong?

Well that went by reall quick, didn't it?

 Nine days of vacation and I'm on my eighth day with little to show and not much in the way of 'relaxation' and recovery. It's not an ideal state to be in truth be told, like I made plans and dared and aspired to write book, walk everywhere and just freakin' kill iiit with how productive I could get, but it's not how things worked out. National November writing month went by real hard, so far away from the target, and ahh what to say this was a pretty good situation restwise and maybe I got a little wise too with light and shit but that was it. I'm actually ready to work, it's not going to be a chore anymore, the work situation, and I'll just get on my ass and start working.

And oh I'm a loser at clubs I've discovered, more on that later.

Maaan I've watchd Hangama so many times, I should make a podcast out of it

 So there's this Hindi movie Hangama that I've watched at least a dozen times, at least, three dozen possibly, and it's a pretty funny movie, I love it. And it's a problematic one, there's a lot to uhh unpack and explain and discuss and make fun of.

The other day Sb and I got high and watched the movie, and I was giggling my head off and providing live commentary on it. And then I realized, I could talk for at least ten hours, legit, on it, take it as a starting point to talk other topics. Which made me realize, is it possible this could be the intersection of all my interests: potential for podcasting, writing, talking about movies and analysis, and getting high. I could do it. A few eps on the treatment of women, a few on class matters, a few on the treatment of masculinity, a few on relationships, a ew on what this says about South Asian culture, a  few on other things, so many potentials there. I gotta do it man, I'm getting myself excited as I write this.

Obvious fact: ads suck

With the new Hulu membership I got, the cheapest of the tiers, I've discovered something I'd forgotten for a long time. Which is, ads suck, they suck suck suck suck. So bad.

Hulu ads suck specially hard. I've watched the same fking ad for Amazing jobs a million times, and there's facebook ads sometimes, absolutely despise those, and there's no way to ignore them because you can't do it on Hulu. I've realized that when people say 'ads are cancer' they're actually not exaggerating, things you don't want to listen to and watch, ones you never signed up for, they're foisted upon you for the privilege of seeing their tv show. I know ad-supported tv and content is a thing, but these ads that don't have connection to reality, they're just randomly dumped down upon us are nonsense. This is awful. 

And then there's Youtube, which has ads on tv too unless you pay to play. The good part is they're not as incessant and repetitive a Hulu ads, and you can skip them most times. The shitty part is youtube gets sneaky with them ads and if you're not skippin them enough, they'll feed your horlong-ads, basically propaganda and lies nobody else will watch because you're stupid enough to not know how to skip ads. It's so. awful.

Even installed this app called Blokada and put on a tonne of TNS ad settings to get rid of the ads, but none of that has worked. It's really shit. Unblockable shit.

Watching tv shows I wouldn't have

 Yeah so like I said in the previous post, I have been watching a lot of tv lately. A lot lot lot. ll of it that I wouldn't otherwise have watched.

Some shows I've been watching that I quite like: It's always sunny, Bob's burgers, and others. Okay I can't name everything, literally everything I'm watching alright?

The Waiting for Mo episode of IASIP was particularly good. The gang is paying laser tag, Dennis wants to win and win and win for winning's sake, but the rest of the gang is having fun, way to much fun playing, even though they're not winning, and Dennis is mad about that because he insists the point is not having fun it's winning. The gang disagrees, he insists the idea is to win and win and win until the end when you have so much fun because of all the winning. He also...doesn't know...what 'the end' is because it's lasertag or is he talking about life?

I've talked about 'living in the moment quite a bit in the past', pardon the eyeroll and sometimes it's hard to do that you know, you want to seek something (more on an upcoming post) and predict how things are going to be and plan and just work hard and suffer and be miserable all the time, until maybe one day it's going to be so good? But that's not the point is it, the idea is to just live and enjoy the ride while you're waiting for something to happen?

This was about to be something completely different.

Got cheap af hulu, I'm addicted to tv now,

 For Black Friday -- which is a stupid idea, even for the crazy consumerist society we live in, and shouldn't be encouraged, like at all -- I bought a Hulu membership. Ninety-nine cents for a month, for a year. It's an amazing deal and I took it despite having zero interest in the subscription service. So yeah now I have a year's worth of very cheap membership for the tv app.

So anyway now I'm watching a lot of tv. Before I had only two channels on the tv, one of them showed only impractical jokers, so it wasn't a great way to pass time, and I'd be doing other stuff, I don't know what but TV wasn't in my consciousness. Two weeks ago the tv hadn't even been activated so it wasn't in existence at all. And now I have an unlimited choice in the tv shows I want to watch.

And maan I've been doing so much watching now. Lots of bob's burgers, what we do, it's always sunny, even random tv shows. All the time, in the background, as i write. Sometimes I'm inspired -- I'm going to talk about waiting for mo episode of it's always sunny in a different episode -- sometimes I laugh out loud but it's mostly pretty mediocre, truth be told. I wasn't missing out a lot, really.

But now that it's here, I can't seem to let it go, all the time it's on in my apartment and I'm watching something or other. Gotta get rid of it. I might cancel the subscription. Or just like live with it, if I can write and do productive things while it plays in the background. Because what else is there to do, and if this makes me want to spend less time on my phone and stupid blue and orange websites, it's a win for everybody.

They're not fruitflies

The difference between fruitflies and gnats is that fruitflies grow and feed in trash and fruits and sweet things, and gnats breed and live and chill out on indoor plants and their soils. They prefer slightly moist soil, as you might get during winter months when the relative humidity is high and the temperatures low so you don't need to water for long stretches. Since the indoor environment is obviously warm enough for these nasty critters they thrive and reproduce and go all out with funtimes.

That's what's happening to me. It's not that I'm keeping my place dirty or unkempt, it's that my plants are getting more in number and the bugs are feasting upon the nutritious yummy plant and their growing substrate. I'm hella mad, gotta take care of it soon, but for right now I've set traps and sent hundreds of those bastards to death. Soon enough I'll get this thing called Mosquito Bits which is a larvacide that's gonna kill em all in their pre-bug form.

The good news is since they're all reproducing on soil, it'll be a matter of a few day till they're completely done. Kill the living bug with the traps, and stop the breeding cycle with the bit.

What is you

What is the method
To your madness
Where does it all
Bundle together,
What does the flower
Of the bud
That is you
Look like
What river
Will you cross
What mountains
Will you summit
What monsters
Do you fight
What dragons
Do you murder,
Or are you
In the
pro-dragon side of things
I am a fool,
Like anybody needs to be told
Unable to comprehend
Untangling the simple
Rope of you
As I tie myself
Into a tough knot
Y
I
K
E
S
I know.

Bready, cheddy and ready for beddy - 8

Experimental fiction piece.

Bring me a little tray of eight different goddamn type of sauces, all of them from south asia so I can dip everything good at tasty in it, nobody dares stop me, I'm on a rampage for great Indian food!

The customers would always complain about how much froth there was but I didn't realize they were complaining, thought it was a compliment and always thanked them for it. It was only after many months, and numerous complaints to my manager I imagine, that I discovered I'd been shortchanging a lot of people, giving them more than half of their cups in foamed coffee.

The problem with a lot of carby foods is, you try four things, and it's nighty night, you can't do anything. You gotta take it easy with those, so you can go through the twelve-fourteen courses with a breeze, you shouldn't be sweating by your third course, and besides all that sweating is bad for spray tan that you've put on your skin. It's magic, it's just erected, and looks amazing, unless you overdo it, or like mess it up, like that orange buffoon who embarrasses us all who get spray tans.

Maybe instead of water I'll have mac n cheese though, extra cheesy and super hot please! It's a new business idea everyone, get on this train! What if we made a tap that had mac n cheese come out of it, super yummy hot mac n cheese! And another tap that dispenses heinz tomato soup, yum yum yum!

What other things you want in your taps? Milkshake taps, banana pudding taps, coffee taps, but that's the normal right. Five Guys have coffee milkshake which is the best of all the worlds, amazing, just mindblowing.

Bready, cheddy and ready for beddy - 7

Experimental fiction piece.

There's so many South Asians in London, way more than in New York which seems to me to be a lot more...cosmopolitan city, but there's great joy in enjoying the Indian and Pakistani and Bangladeshi culture and the entire cultural experience, you know?

And oh there's going to be something happening in Long Beach, yeah yeah the one in Cali that we might go to, so you all folks should come, it's going to be an experience, never been there but I'm told fun things about the place hahah!

Horrible to drag your family to this whole situation, but they're your family you know, it's fun and that's how you connect, by doing stupid things. The roast potatoes are really good, they're sliced a bit too small and there's on soft bits, only the crispy parts!

Six year old nephew, who's turned a vegetarian, lots of respect for him. He's got a lot of...conviction of his beliefs.

Pasta is the king of food for a lot of people, and some people consider mac n cheese to be the best of pastas. You can have it as a side dish, you can have it as an appetizer, you can have it as the main dish and it works. The cheese is stringy, it's crispy on top, and it just slushes when you bite in. If other people put other things in mac n cheese, I just say no, mac n cheese is just mac AND cheese, that's it, I'm a purist.

Bready, cheddy and ready for beddy - 6

Experimental fiction piece.

Getting charcoal filtered water might not be a bad idea, but be careful with ingesting charcoal -- not that it has negative effects necessarily, but it tends to absorb the nutrition in your stomach, including the medications you might have recently taken.

Mom makes Melange with eggplants, with white wine something. Egg white and courgette, that's another dish that she makes. They go amazingly well with roast chicken that my mom makes. You don't even have to give me the chicken, I don't mind doing just the sides, give me those, give me roast potatoes and I can abandon the evil alien chicken right away! Aubergine is the king of the table now!

Be careful though, you've got to blow on your food before you eat it, you don't want to burn your mouth with the greatest food you've ever had! You need to hold it like you're holding a newborn. Imagine George Clooney looks at you and says, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to kiss you, that's how you need to feel with the food in front of you.

I told you about Roast Chicken right, we'd start on Sunday I don't know how we'd make it last so long, but we'd take it until Thursdays! She cooked it seven different ways. The point is, Roast Chicken is event eating! I didn't care about the parts, I'd eat everything. I do like the wings, but it doesn't matter, all of Roast chicken is amazing chicken. SO much rock salt, you need to put in to roast it, that it's crackling, that's what gives the chicken a crisp. The chicken needs to sound like an angry cat when it's cooking.

Bready, cheddy and ready for beddy - 5

Experimental fiction piece.

Be careful with the sparkling drinks, like yes the sweet soda but even seltzer, it's bad for your teeth, it burns through your enamel and you don't grow it back!

The Sunday Roast was a tradition in our house, that our mother made, a whole chicken roasted wholly. But I don't want to cause additional environmental damage, so can we make it a tasty evil alien chicken, from another planet so I don't feel guilty about eating it? Because it deserved to die!

You know there's this restaurant called cafe gratitude in LA, it's a fun place, it's a laugh. You gotta go there and say 'i'm grateful for' so and so, and order for it. And then the names of their orders are really strange. And then they ask you the question of the day, and you really have to think about it, such as, what's your thought for the day. Great gluten-free desserts, so good. Alicia Silverstone smiled at me when I was there, in Cafe Gratitude, really made my day.

A gentleman never tells, though.

I propose a tuna melt is the best thing in the whole damn world. Smoke will come out of your ears! Cheese on toast is as good as it gets, i'd been told when I was fifteen. That's when I discovered the magic of adding tuna to the mix.

Toast the bread, but only hardening it, not burning it. You want the bread to be pretty soft. In a separate bowl, you're adding tuna in olive oil, mayo, lots of lemon juice, and tabasco. Such a delicious hodpoge of mess. Just slather it in a mess over the bread. I was fourteen and in America. I was weeping, asked my mom, is this real? A tuna melt has all the wisdom and joy and gravitas of cheese on toast. The cheese doesn't have to be hot, but it does have to be bubbling.

Bready, cheddy and ready for beddy - 4

Experimental fiction piece.

Fortunately the Americans among us knew this app -- apparently very popular in America -- that you can use to split of balances with your mates, which we did, even before we settled with restaurant.

Americans call it Whole foods, not Whale foods, but you can never count on them to be consistent, but yeah we have more of those nice stores opening up around here in the South and it's wonderful, and great look into the American mindset in a way we all like and respect.

I regret everything I've said already.

It's just so hard being gluten intolerant despite you know, all the progress we've made. It's good that my friend calls me gluutey cutey as well as his wife, because if he called just me, it'd be a little weird, though of course it's a misnomer because of course I don't do glootey, so it's the opposite of the nickname I should have.

The cafe in Brixtonville, the burnt toast cafe, a whole bunch of us went there. The lady there recognized us, and she was so excited to have us there! They've got toasters, all the bread you can have, jams, butter, marmite, anything you want to have, they've got it there. For eight pounds, you can eat all the bread and butter and jam and marmite you ever want. It's a little boy's dream. You can cook it as well as you can.

The best pudding is...a...cheesecake. Cheesecake, non-baked, ratio 50-50 to a buttery base and cream cheese. I like a pan, two teaspoons of it, and I'm done. No toppings, I don't care. I hate it with a small base, a large gloopy cheesecake and disgusting topping. The base needs to come up to at least half. I'm alright with everything as long as it's been meeting the 50% ratio.

Bready, cheddy and ready for beddy - 3

Experimental fiction piece.

Neither of us liked the the bathroom.

Is it arrogant to say that?

Rice is great though, no, I don't know anybody ever who doesn't like rice, it's so filling at goes with everything. And with those curries and other stews, it's wonderful, what a gift to humanity it is. Potatoes or tomatoes or like, everything, just so good.

It goes with a lot of sides, it's the perfect base to go if you're a fan of a lot of sides.

So my mom and I have and siblings have come up with this thing where we take responsibility of other people like farting on burping. Anytime anybody farts or burps near me, I'm like, oops sorry everyone, confuses the heck outta everyone.

Am I allowed....I like a paapad with a sheen, I don't want a hard, seeded bread, what I really would want is...a toaster on my restaurant table, a toaster, and some super soft bread. The reason I want the toaster on my table is that I want to put butter on toast the moment, the exact moment it comes out of the toaster. Hot and saucy, you can barely hold it, and putting butter down on it, yumm. That's the real deal.

It's difficult to nap after a properr can of 7up, but a diet 7up doesn't mess up with anything.

Bready, cheddy and ready for beddy - 2

Experimental fiction piece.

There was a bit of drama, we were hungry and tired, and there was a lot of expectation on the delivery.

There was a really good curry house in London, but it closed down. We'd go at Christmas there after all the eating, because it's the best antidote for Christmas food. Anyway, George Clooney showed up at the place one of those years, apparently and he was really nice about it. They don't really care if he was there or not, they treat everybody like a normal person!

We'll have our roast, and play around with the cats, we've got all sorts of cat games, such like feeding them stuff and tickling them and tend them as we watch tv. If you want the cat to sit on you, ya gotta cover them with blankets. Eventually they'll get sick of it.

Would you rather drink with somebody wett wett mouth and slobbering with water, or somebody parched and dry, like Mr. Burns?! The tongue is not a sponge, okay, I did biology. It's just the act of glug glugg glugging of the water that makes me lose my erection, alright? Why can you not have water in other forms, I don't care for the water course, I'm nice about it, just bring out the real food.

Margarita is the best drink, though I cannot handle a lot of it. Though my favourite drink of all time is Diet 7Up, drink of the gods. Glides down like it's a slipstream! My tummy is tumbling around with it, ringading ding. Margarita on the rocks, the best goddamn drink, a night out with the girls, and you're in heaven. A margarita has a promise of a filthy night, and the possibility that anything might happen. And a Diet 7up says, refreshed, but not really! Which is what I like! I cannot like without diet 7up!

Bready, cheddy and ready for beddy - 1

Experimental fiction piece.

The food was lovely but we could have gone anywhere else and we wouldn't have been disappointed.

The problem is, it was going to be paapad, it was, it most definitely was, but it didn't turn out to be because I was interested in doing something else. Saag paneer is good, no, it's fantastic, paneer is great, spinach is great, you can't go wrong with it!

I heard a rumor you'd gone rumor, and I was like, why did I not know of that, because the British comedy mafia informed me, and not you, but then yeah yeah apparently just for a bit and not for good, yeah it wasn't like I was offended or anything, just confused haah.

I understand the water cycle, I would rather not get the gross kind of water, it's not that I dislike water, it's not ridiculous. I don't like the outdoors, okay? When people get warm or thirsty, they're either doing something tiring, or they're outdoors. Neither of which I like, alright? I don't like to leave my bed, I never get myself to the place where I might be thirsty? Glug glug glug, and the water comes out of people's noses, it's disgusting. It sounds like something hipsters do. My parents don't drink water, I don't know if I've ever seen them drinking water.

I love mac n cheese but I'd marry a potato. Potato is the king of kings. In any form, not just in mash. You can roast em, mash em, do anything with it. Jacket, buttered, fondant, bashed up potatoes with fried onions, night night! Potatoes, very very garlicky, so great, even better the day after. Christmas day you wake up, smelling up the potatoes and garlic, yum, I'd put my face into this. I'm not mad for potatoes. On every slice yum yum yum. Why does the house smell so good?! What's happening!? Everyone's confused, until they see the dish in front of them!

Ten top ten lists I gotta write about, but am too lazy to

1. Ten things you knew for sure were true but you just found our weren't
   
   
2. Ten tv shows you thought were so sick when you watched them, but can't stand them anymore
   
   
3. Ten celebrities who were widely respected in the 90's but turned out to be super creeps
   
   
4. Ten things we miss from the nineties
   
   
5. Ten topics you are not allowed to talk about with Pope (number eight will shock you!)
   
   
6. Ten times you could have been smarter and braver than Harry goddamn Potter
   
   
7. Ten catchy songs your innocent mind didn't appreciate the horniness of
   
   
8. Ten social media influencers who turned out to be duds (and three who didn't!)
   
   
9. Ten fish you don't want to eat anymore because you'd be disturbed how they are really
   
   
10. Ten local issues you weren't paying attention to because you were too distracted by national and international politics

This guy ain't getting his water, for sure

...ohh interesting, so like blessed every five days is pretty good, what's the religions that have been doing the blessing for the water I mean, super interesting man.

Yes, mssr, that eez what was on the following sentence. In any case, we get holy people for the catholics, the protestants, muslims, jews, hindus, sikhs and buddhists, you know that covers almost ninety percent of all the global population, possibly higher. So we can say for sure that our water is blessed for almost everybody. Apologies messrs but I have to tend to other tables as well, I'll be back to take your full order, what is your choice of water at this point?

Oh right, right, sorry sorry I was too distracted by my stupid cellphone, yeah can I get the blessed water please, no chemicals and very spiritual, I'm not a spiritual person but that sounds cool. And so I don't waste your time much, can you also get me the two most popular appetizers on the menu, I'll be looking at the main order later, while I'm enjoying your appetivos, thanks man, I'm just about done with this stupid game.

Very well, sir, the server said, departing instantly.

I need to get out of this goddamn phone, the scenery's gotta be insane and the food, how did I ever find this place, so affordable yet so...fancy, three kinds of waters, an annoyed frenchman server, over the lake, with great reviews, I must recommend this place to everybody forever, this is such an amazing find, and here I am still in my phone, unable to see the beauty in front of me, losing myself in the inner world, blind to the reality around, I must get out.

Sir, sir, are you alright? Do you need EMT? Yo, maan, can you hear me, you doing alright buddy? You look a bit weird man, your eyes are lookin' kinda' freaky bro, you should see a doctor it's not a natural color for the eyes.

The man didn't know where he was. He was playing the game on his phone. He was on his bed. How did he get to the...was it a lake? In Switzerland, was it? Nice restaurant? With three kinds of water and an annoying server? Where was that? What did it matter anyway, not like he was paying attention. Who were these people looking at him scared, this was not a nice fancy restaurant he remembered going to, not at all. Was this...America? How had he gotten here, who the fuck was he, and what the fuck was happening? He was on the phone, playing some game, had his life passed him by?

Just bring me the damn water man

Tap water please, he told the server, his eyes unpeeled from the cell-phone.

Sir, the server said in a slightly french accent, we offer three different kinds of water on tap, all of is gratis, which one would you prefer.

Hnnnng, hnnng, just a moment,  he said, unable to take himself off from the addictive game he found himself playing, aware and annoyed that he'd eventually gave to disengage. Three kinds of water hmmm, can you tell me what my options are with them?

We have one of natural mineral water from the mountains, that we get off of our reservoir. Then it is the normal city water supplied by the town which we are told comes from the same source as ours, but the city has added certain...hmmm...additives, to make it disinfected, for certain individuals who are unable to stomach the bounty of the natural untreated water, it is a better option.

Ohh right right, so natural spring water and treated water, what's the third water, I'm interested now, he said, he'd have to eventually let go of the phone, this was getting boring, any restaurant that offered three different kinds of tap water (three!) at the extremely affordable price range was bound to have interesting choice of entrees.

Our third tapped water option is, the server said with a hint of impatience in his voice, the special blessed water that is all natural but 'as been treated with the blessings of religious leaders of seven different religiouns, I'm told that it is quite popular among the more spiritually inclined. It is natural and spiritually treated, though it doesn't have the chemical treatment provided by the city.

Oh, oh interesting, never heard of that, so sort of like holy water huhh, except it's like blessed water I guess because I imagine for holy water you have to get it from certain rivers and certain times and it's not at all possible, definitely not possible for this price point I imagine, hahahah. So you're saying it's blessed by seven different kinds of religious people, I find that super interesting sorry to not give you my full attention but this has been going on for some time, i promise I'll get back to you when I'm done with it. Can you talk to me about how often the blessing happens and what kind of blessing is done to the water.

If sir is so interested, the man said. You are correct in assuming this is blessed water and not holy water. We get blessings in here for every tank, it lasts about two weeks in slower weeks and perhaps five days in high season.

Nothing going wrong at all

He wasn't going to trip, not again, not after what happened last year. It wasn't entirely their mistake of course, he was partly responsible for not paying attention to where he was headed, but really a large unmarked whole smack middle of the sidewalk was not something he would have expected in the neighborhood. It made no damn sense, why would they not cover it? At least he got them to put forward a formal apology, not that it counted for much but still. Something to hold on to. Thank god for good insurance.

He didn't want to be back, not that he was traumatized or anything. It was unpleasant reminder of the accident but not deep in his psyche or anything. Not something he was into, if you knew what that meant. And this particular street had never been his favourite anyway, not enough trees and way way too many college students who don't put their trash cans back in, litter about everywhere and ugh that disgusting smell of piss percolating in the air. Fizzy piss, for some reason that's what it reminded him of. As if he would know what fizzy piss felt like. Hah, he snorted at the thought.

A hundred feet in front of him lay the house he needed to be in. Different from the place he had been to last year, not as nice, not as old, and a little...strange, truth be told. Those craggly wires hanging on top, tree branches right out of a horror movie mansion and a vague sense of dread when you looked at it. Strange. But not as bad as hurting your shoulder, almost killing yourself. It's just a stupid house, he told himself, five minutes in, ten minutes out, it won't be a big deal. It's nothing. Nobody's going to harm me.

He looked at the pavement in front of him with great care, confirming there was nothing out of place in there. No unruly low-hanging branches, no overgrown shrub, uprisen slabs, and most certainly no holes anywhere. This would be a non event, something he'd never think about again. What a fool he'd consider himself for worrying so much, just for some random house.

In front of the house, finally, nothing in his way. He looked above, the sky was clear, the house looked way less threatening now that he was so close. Nothing could go wrong. This was a simple job. He was on.

Just then a murder of crows flew over him and he got shat on.

Total waste of those two bears, total waste of vacation

To those two bears, says Robert california,
I guess I gotta toast it to my vacation,
Of which so little remains,
Because I've frittered it all,
All of it gone,
Frittered away,
Forever, gone,
Doing nothing,
Emptiness and sleep
And lazing around
Watching the dumbest episodes
OF friends
And the big bang theory
Dear lords
Save me from
What I have gotten myself into.

Snippet from Extreme: why some people thrive at the limits

 Psychological descriptions of wisdom often refer to the ability to cope well with ambiguity and uncertainty -- a crucial ability in extreme environments, as we have seen. Knowledge and cognitive skills are necessary ingredients of wisdom but they are not sufficient. You can be intelligent and know a lot without being wise. Age and experience are also associated with wisdom but again they're not sufficient. Wisdom does not grow automatically with age and it remains a relatively rare attribute even among those with decades of experience.

Despite its popular portrayal as an almost mystical quality, research suggests that wisdom is learned. More specifically, it is the way in which people reflect on and learn lessons from experiences, especially challenging, unsual or even traumatic experiences that determines their performance on the main dimensions of wisdom. It appears that the path to wisdom lies in learning the right experiences from hard experiences.

Some random snippets from "Life with the Afterlife" non-fiction book

 "
Personally, I've seen spirits present in both ways, I think John's theory that spirits evolve makes total sense -- but as I've investigated over the years, I've seen indications that they can appear in all different ages and forms.
"

"
The thing is, and I will keep saying this until I'm a ghost myself, THere is no right answer when it comes to the paranormal. There is no definitive guide which parts are right, and which parts are wrong, and which things we're calling ghosts are really part of the animal world, or which parts of life on Earth are not from this planet at all. I've read theories before that Bigfoot is the ghost of a Neanderthal, and that Loch Ness Monster is the ghost of a dinosaur.

Maybe that sounds crazy to you, but really, who's to say for sure those theories are wrong?

"

"
I've heard a lot of theories about hauntings that sound to me like they could be alien experiences, or sound like they have elements of other phenomena associated with them. This is why I don't believe there are strict lines between disciplines. I think the world is more connected than we know -- and because of that, I don't think you can believe in one and completely discount the other. There are so many things that are strikingly similar. If you have a mind that's open enough to believe in ghosts, why would you not believe in something like a cryptid or the idea of UFOs? To me, aliens are so much more plausible than ghosts. Even though I believe in them and I study them, if I were going to pick one thing that absolutely existed, I would definitely choose life on another planet coming to see us.

"

Meet the flintstones, a poem

Flintstones.
Oh the Flintstones,
Go meet them
In the city of Bedrock
Where they live.
You've got Fred,
Who's a working class man
Of the fifties America
He works in a stone mine
Rides a dinosaur
And runs his feet on his car.
There's wilma, he's wife,
She's fine, she enjoys some good wine
And betty her friend, who also works from home
And Barney Rubble, her boo,
Who's got it empty, nothing in there it seems, none.
Watch the gang get into adventures
And the wild hijinks
Nothing matters in the end though
Because it's the fifties.
Friendly cops, guaranteed jobs
Cheap houses and lasting appliances
They might be stone-age
But their livelihoods are not.

Lament of the podcaster

Please like and subscribe,
And turn on the notification,
And don't forget to give us a review,
Five stars if you will
Wherever you get your pods
Because it's only your support
That keeps us up,
Without you
We'll never get on the top
Oh and by the way
Also vote for us
In this competition or that
In the first round
And then the second
And then the third,
Until a good place has been found
We might also be live
With a show
So get a ticket, go go go!
Come hang, buy merch and listen to us talk
In person, and make the pod experience
A full-on wholesome.

Some poetry about nothing in particular

Sandwiches for you, and some for me too, it's a pity though, that they cannot be at the same time, my boo boo boo.

Flying away, far and out, one jump at a time, figuring out the route. It is all confusion, and madness, I don't understand. You of course, know exactly what's the plan. One imagines.

And then I get tired, nod right off. Unable to talk, or give a heads up. Just be gone, I wanna tell, don't wanna here the ring of the bell.

Less is more, I've found, and that's how these things go, round and round and round. On, and on, and off and on and off and what's up now, who even knows. Except you. One hopes.

It's me, I keep saying, you insist otherwise. This is some nonsense, you gotta do better things. Chop chop chop, head off now, be back when the gloomy days are gone. When the sun is out, and the days are bright, we'll figure out what's wrong and what's right.

Oh right, yet another new-record milestone, most productive year count-wise

Last year I ended at 1268 pots for the year, and I'm already at 1270 by the end of this post without even reaching December. Which means this is an extraordinarily productive year, a year that I didn't do so great on daily-habits and discipline but definitely got round forcing myself to perform and right, which is slightly close to 'doing things the right way'. All the posts this year were half-assed, but half-assing thing is a lot better than ignoring them and underperforming so hurrah, things are looking on the up and up.

Hurray, hurray, this is going to go well.

On Bob's burger: Bob's burger is actually funny, hah

 Because I got the tv, with real channels and really oen channel (TBS) that's got comedy runs all day-night long, it's on all the time in my room. And that's what I've been watching for the last two hours. Yanno, it's actually pretty good, a modern The Simpsons, if you may, with Archer and Kristin Schaal, it's funny, timely and less dysfunctional and unrealistic and anachronistic than the oldie show. Doesn't really have too many laugh-out-loud situation, but the setup's great, the storylines are interesting without getting too deep into the weeds with the emotions, and it' something you don't get addicted to, you can leave whenever you wanna because you know the Bob family is gonna be alright, just up to another of their hijinks, you know?

I wouldn't go out of the way to watch it, but it's a pleasant show to be around when it's playing.

Fin.

Who's the annoying one now?

Why would one
Choose
TO be
A collateral damage
Of somebody's fight,
Against themselves?
And there lies,
The crux of the matter,
Not this guy,
So fly, fly,
You little guy,
Like a bird
A very conflicted one,
Unclear uncertain
Anxious and afraid
And let me out
OF those situations,
Because
This bird
Is free now,
Hurray hurray hurray.

Oops,
Am I right?

It was a test, why didn't you tell me?

Yeah, she's cool
Even though you don't like her,
You respect her,
Like I do,
And we've talked
And discussed
The matters
That were teased about
And yeah, why not
Smart, hardworking funny smart
And most importantly
A person
One can live with
Aka tolerate,
It would be
Not a terrible idea
To spend decent time
With somebody
You don't disagree with
No
Oh wait
You meant,
It was a test, and you didn't mean
What you said, really
Oops, my bad,
Stop being stupid.
I fail all the tests.

Peanut butter honey lazy breakfast, tv overload, library, walkabout, the gym, using roasted veggies and potatoes for greatest wrap ever [Thu 18]

 Breakfast was peanut butter and honey. Boring annoying whatever. Had fruits for lunch, because the breakfast was so filling.

Watched a hella lotta friends after work, because you know I got a tv now with channels and everything like an adult or whatever, no big deal, oh please.

Went to the library, returned a bunch of books because they were way past the deadline, one was at least. Walked around town, went to SB's waited for a long time though it wasn't a total waste because there was Mean girls the musical on in the theater next to his apartment and it was fun seeing the crowds waiting for the show.

Back home, heated up the final round of the potato veggies, took out the brussels sprouts from the day before, made them into a giant burrito and yum yum yum, it was really good, and so healthy too, owhh maaan. Tried to make myself write but couldn't because so lazy etc, so just went to sleep at 10.30-11. At least the sleep was sound.

Alu-tarkari brunch, so much teas, productive work, night at the AS's place, funtimes [Wed 17]

 For lunch I warmed the leftover potatoes I cooked last week, and two rotis fro TJ's and had the regular Nepali meal. Good stuff.

Real productive at work, had many many cups of teas with L-theanine because my caffeine intolerance is taken care of with the substance. Feel like a superman now, though coffee doesn't raise my mood or spirits or energy level like it does for most people.

After work I watched a tonne of tv, wrote a little bit too, probably, and then cleaned up, got on the train and went to AS's place, went to UW on the train, where the two A brothers picked me up. They drove home and we spent the next three hours having so much fun, eating seven different kinds of Nepali kinds, took two rounds of food. A beer and some Japanese sake, such good taste. Played a couple of rounds of ktty, and then they started playing marriage and we were jut talking, the two boys I didn't know dropped me home, slept quite early thankfully because early morning the following day.

Gross brunch, gloomy day, long nap, kick in the metaphorical butt, uplifting walk to volunteer park and south, fun podcast, [Tue 16]

For brunch I used the leftover noodles with eggs, potatoes and added spicy sauces, found that concoction of all the leftovers real good.

Anyway I napped for a bunch, woke up tired and gloomy and not really that good about the future and stuff. Head hurt so bad. So I went on a walk, so good, felt fresh, listened to off menu podcast during the walk, all the old episodes too, and maaan taking a nice walk when you're feeling rgumpy does lift up your mood so goddamn much, great times were had during the walk. Went all the way up to the north of volunteer park, came down all the way close to home, and then walked down south because the podcast was not over and I wanted to be out and not feel gloomy anymore. By the time I was back, it felt so fresh, I forgot I was feeling gloomy entirely. Had a bunch of the mango sorbet for dinner, light on calories, sweet, and makes you feel so indulgent, without actually being bad for your body. yum yum yum.

Clubs I've been to lately

1. The Q
   
   
2.  Hula Hula
   
   
3. Rhino Room
   
   
4. Monkey Loft
   
   
5. Kremework
   
   
6. La Rumba
   
   
7. Neumos
   

Holiday and travel plans ahead

Want to put out an update on the upcoming holiday plans and what not because I have been relatively stable in the new place for the past many months.

So starting right now I have 9 days of holidays total, four weekend days over two weekend days, two thanksgiving holidays I get from work, and I took three days off from work, adding up to a total of nine. And like I may have mentioned earlier, there's no clear plans on what to do during the break, I'm hoping to hang with Nk nd her family, and spend time with AKS's family, there was also talk of hanging out with people that appears to have gotten lost in people's muddled thoughts, and obviously the 'regular' Seattle gang are probably going to be doing something, not sure if I might join with them. During the course of the day though I do want to write a lot, lot lot lot lot, come down with a novel, lots of l-theanine and coffee and tea and just work through the words, twenty thousand words a day is not really impossible, as long as those words are real trash and I don't bring out my inner editor, you guys know how it's like over here hanh hanh hanh.

Which will still leave me with 8 holidays this year I absolutely burn out before December ends, which is a LOT of days to get rid of over the course of a month yeah, but bleh, I'll be traveling a lot in the month so it'll be taken care of. The idea is to go to Philly first and hang with NG and co there for a week or two, before going to DC staying at SB's place with AKS who'll come there too, for a week or two before going to Boston to spend Christmas and new year's with JD and the rest of the folks, probably gonna come back to town after the holidays.

And that's it, that's my travel plans!

Mfking fruitflies have invaded my lush interior jungle and I'm hella mad

Maaaan I don't know where these fuckin fruitflies came in from, my trash is well hidden and clean and most importantly fruitfly-free. My fruits are all in the fridge (now), safe from the attack of those disgusting creaturoids. and I'm not messy otherwise, I swear the apartment is quite neat and clean and not at all most or gross or smelly. So where the hellll are they coming from I don't understand.

What IS there to understand however is that they seem to have made a home near my plants, basically chillin in the high-moisture environment protected by the fact that I'm not going to attack them with chemical insecticides and weapons of insect destruction because I don't want to be hurting my plants. But like they're flyin' all over the apartment, right up to my nose bothering me when I'm pooping and peeing and it's really annoying. And obviously I'm killing like a good number of them as they're dummm' af but that's all there is to it, I want to go to their breeding spot and get rid of them at the source, but I can't figure out where they're at. It. Is. Getting. Outta' Hand.

So this afternoon I put in a cup full of sugar-water and nice-smelling vinegar and dish detergent so they drown from the surface tension whatever, and I caught a few dumb-looking ones and the children. I'm worried though that the serious breeding females are out there, on the hunt for horny males to knock them up and lay millions of eggs and infest the whole goddamn apartment.

Gotta get in control of this situation real quick or else they're gonna get the better of me, not the best situation here buds, lemme tell ya.

Democracy and posession by deities

...As noted, oracular possession has been on the increase in South Asia. Gellner attributes this increase in Nepal since about 1950 to democratization (prajātantra), which has emboldened a large number of people, especially women, to establish themselves as regular mediums. This has become a new and viable wage-earning opportunity for women in certain oppressively patriarchal rural areas of Nepal—not a trivial factor in the general empowerment offered by possession. Thus, as with New Age channeling, the proliferation of possession in Nepal and elsewhere in South Asia is a populist artifact of democratization. In this way, democracy has done well its job of leveling inequalities: It has been a mechanism for shrinking the gap
between laity and deity in the West and between the laity and the priestly elite in South Asia.

Nevertheless, in spite of similar dynamics of cultural legitimization and forces of modernity at work in the West and in other less-privileged regions of the world, the personal empowerment experienced by
New Age trance channelers displays a considerably different texture from that experienced by women and others of lower social rank in developing societies whose possession is a temporary expression of social or political dominance in a general climate of oppression...

From
The self possessed
Deity and Spirit Possession in
South Asian Literature and Civilization

Watching tv like it's a thing, and how come nobody feels guilty about it?

 So I finally connected my tv, got some channels (semi-legally with IPTV but nobody needs to be talking about that), and use the remote and everything, so this is now a normal situation with a person who has a tv, exciting times.

Problem is though, I've been watching friends non-stop, as long as they have it on TBS because it's just there, I'm too lazy to leave the house when it's raining and the show is so goddamn -- not comforting no, definitely not great, maybe annoying, yeah lets say that -- annoying I can't leave. So for hours and hours I watch friends and documentaries and other shit on tv, like regular people!

Which made me realize something. How is it that you don't feel like you're wasting your life and time away when you're watching tv or doing other passive work, but when you're using the internet or generally chillin' out, it feels like such a waste, like you don't now what is up, and you're just a purposeless goon destined to end up as a mediocre loser unable to get anywhere you wanted to be, unloved and uncared for dying alone and friendless abandoned, discovered as your body lays rotting and maggot-infested in a sad pathetic apartment complex.

Anywhooo. Yeah so weird, right? It just numbs your mind, makes you forget how much you're lagging behind, how much more you need to accomplish in life. Yadda yadda yadda. Let's cut it short.

Weddings I'm missing out on over the course of the next two months

 I don't get invited to weddings much, but I was invited to like six weddings for December and Jan (and the next week in November). Alas I can't go because such is life, and alas I can't write in detail because I'm a lazy mofo in rush and I'm hungry, I need to go to AK's place right now, after finishing this I gotta shower and chill and rush to the train station. So here's a list of weddings I'm missing.

1. Sh's wedding, the wedding I was the most excited about in real life and in this blog for several months, because SO MANY DAYS at the cool resort, but I ain't gonna go nomo' because ugh.
   
   
2. Sb&Pk getting married, double invitation there, this should count as two different weddings actually, since I got two invitations. Ugh. At least I was there for the engagement and bachelor's party.
   
   
3. IB's wedding, big deal, everybody's spending time in cool nice expensive places thanks to the groom's family, but I ain't gonna be there...so hoh hoh hoh.
   
   
4. Kp's brother's wedding. Invited but not present, what do
   .
5. Sm's wedding, got the formal invitation in the email earlier today, and I can't go because of how the stupid life turned out, this sucks man. What are we gonna do now, ow ow ow.
   

Some poetry or such bullshit about silence

It not
That
You
Didn't speak,
I wasn't
Listening,
Now,
Hurry up
With the silence
So I may
Ignore
Harder, harder
Let us both
Writhe
In ecstasy
Of this
Deafening
Silence.

20 words, just cos'

1.  Deserve
   
   
2. Disappointment
   
   
3. Privilege
   
   
4. Destiny
   
   
5. Evaluation
   
   
6. Enthusiasm
   
   
7. Enervate
   
   
8. Engagement
   
   
9. Anxiety
   
   
10. Universe
    
    
11. Gods
    
    
12. Demons
    
    
13. Confusion
    
    
14. Conscience
    
    
15. Dreams
    
    
16. Goats
    
    
17. School
    
    
18. Kindergarten
    
    
19. Penumbra
    
    
20. Shadow
    

Holidays sales-a-palooza

CAT: That's right, we're doing this for the first time folks, all the money we're gonna collect today goes to cancer patients, so donate freely!

DOG: And remember, for every dollar you donate to the cat-and-dog-medical-fund, our benefactors will match a dollar in donation, effectively doubling the value of your donation. You give us five hundred dollars for the betterment of dog-and-cat-kind, and we receive a thousand dollars to put in the hard work and effort to make our feline and canine-kind healthier and safer, protecting your future and insuring we all get to live longer, healthier lives!

CAT: It doesn't end there folks, if you buy our abb blaster tummy rollup exercise machine, which you would otherwise do anyway because the holidays are coming and oh you know you're going to be indulging around this time of the year, and need to be fit for the beach and you know going out, so you're gonna be working out anyway, why waste all that money paying to the gym renting their equipment when for half that amount you could use the equipment and keep them forever, not to mention retain good resale value, so yeah if you buy our exercise machines, one cent out of every dollar of the purchase value goes to the fund, which means not only will you be donating your money, you'll also be empowering those folks who work with us, making them feel useful and entrepreneurial, telling the you're not doing a charity, it'sa business and you believe in the quality of their products!

Things that might turn out to be the secret behind black holes

 I was watching the PBS Spacetime video on blackholes (and if they're fuzzy) and now youtube's showing me the "Spark" video on the history of blackholes. And I reallly need to get a lot of words out in a short amount of time. Which means...dun dun dun, you got it, I'm going to be writing about blackholes. lots of bullshit and uninteresting crap.

So here's the ten things that might turn out to be the secret behind black holes:

1. Time wormholes, you get into them, you can travel to the past, future, whatever, just like that, magic!
   
   
2. Space wormholes, you get into one blackhole, you come out of another way way wayyyy further away in the universe, essentially crossing spacetime, but not really time that much because if you went back, you'd get back to where you started from, like magically.
   
   
3. Your mom's butt.
   
   
4. The end of the universe.
   
   
5. Gods!
   
   
6. Hell, demons, bad things.
   
   
7. A very dense concentration of very dense people.
   
   
8. Mathematical anomaly.
   
   
9. The place where all those annoying mfking fruitflies come from.
   
   
10. Snakessss.
    

Fruits are freaking fun

 Because I've been trying to play catchup with a lot of things not necessarily related to this blog, I'm running behind with posting here. Which I've learned to not bother myself too much with, but one's gotta live by one's rules, and just ignoring things when they become inconvenient is not the right way to go about your passions etcetera. So instead I'm doing what I'm so freaking good at, half-assing and just putting down whatever bullshit will come inside my noggin. Don't mind me, this is business as usual.

After what feels like months(!) I got some sweet sweet fruits, oranges, apples and bananas, and man it feels so good to be eating fruit again. When you're eating fruits regularly it doesn't feel like much because they feel like 'cheat food'...taste amazing, don't need to be cooked, hella nutritious, and easy on the tummy. But when it's been a while since you had fruity goods to nomnom on you realize your body misses the vitams and proteins, and yeah it's really that great, the cheat fruit, it'd be great to get out of the bummer of food involving carbs and proteins, they add color and flavor to otherwise boring meals.

Vitamins and minerals, here I come!

Some more on off-menu pod

 Off menu podcast with acaster and ed is a good one, I've talked about it in the past on several occasions. I was feeling a bit gloomy yesterday, feeling unproductive, useless and undirected. So I went on a nice little walk to Volunteer park and the neighborhood around there, and then back home, and listened to the pod all the way. I was smiling cheek to cheek throughout the walk, and after I got back, and forgot that I had been feeling grumpy through the course of the day. They never fail to entertain me, make me feel good about the world. It's not laugh-out-loud, generally, but pretty goshdarned good. Got around to listening to Tom Allen's interview, after first listening to Ghostbuster's director, whom the boys had interviewed a couple of months before the pandemic began, on their trip to the US, in LA. Different times, it's so weird now. But things are on the up and up, apparently everybody's going on tours now. Exciting times are ahead.

The apartment is mine again, hurrah

 Finally got around to clearing out the stuff in the kitchen, the living room and my bedroom. Cleared out all the gross cardboard boxes I'd had lying around for my makeshift 'bedroom' during my stay in the living room, got rid of the 'tv stand' cardboard box that had the tv not running because of issues. Instead I put it on the laptop stand I bought from Ross the other day, which means the apartment looks like a real place, the posters and decorations are decent, the plans are in the window section, well-watered and ready for the sun, and my carpet is right on the middle of the room, leaving the corner space for plants and uhh water features that I need to put work on, but now it feels closer than ever. And the mes in kitchen, all the random cups and mugs around are well-hidden, so everything looks neat and trim. It feels like the apartment is mine and mine again, ready to be decorated, ready for the light of a brand new day.

So now I've connected the tv, got two different scented candle/diffuser going, and watch the tv as I type this sitting on my sweet sweet low-table. The only bummer is my laptop table is gone, so I need to look down a couple of inches from the ideal situation bleh as tradeoffs go, this is a great one.

Thanksgiving plans and other nonsense I don't wanna think about

To put it short, I took three days off of work during the Thanksgiving week, and now with the four weekend days, plus the two work holidays combined, I'm off by myself for nine days next week. Can't go to East Coast because I don't want any more disruptions in the vague sort of timetable situation I've gotten around to creating for myself over the course of the last two weeks. But mostly cos' nobody's around and free. To summarise: I have no thanksgiving plans and a goddamn big chunk of holiday with which I know not what to do. Could go to Dallas, could go to portland and see NK's family, could spend time with AS clan, could just do my own thing which is obviously a very bad idea and not something to be recommended.

Maan, this is gonna be a wild time. If I were a more organized soul, a person with motivation and energy and the drive to create and make and be inspired and inspire yadda yadda yadda, I'd simply go to the library for the majority of those days, except maybe the main two days when eventually something good is bound to happen. And I've been known to bang out 10k+ words a day, so with seven days at hand I could easily, so very easily get to a nice 90k+ 'novel' of any kind, awful as it's gonna be. It would be a damn shame, that's what it'd be for sure because I have no clue what'd be coming out of me, but if there was any sort of interest in doing 'Nanowrimo' etc, which I've been angling at for the last decade...almost, at this point, this would be the right time to do it. Not just complete it, or half-ass it, over accomplish the situation, outdo everything I've done in the past.

But like, who am I kidding.

Maybe I'll surprise myself though. Good things can, and have been known to, happen.

Productive workday, insane pie creation lunch, midday nap, walk to downtown, shopping, early gymming, fruity snacks, shin dinner, late bed [Mon 15]

 I write this at 10.15 of the same day, I gotta finish this, and one more, and brush before heading for bed, it's not ideal because I delayed and dallied in writing, but that's life, when one procrastinates, the person suffering is oneself. At least I'll be only 12 posts behind schedule, which is not awful, can do that tomorrow, feel like tis' gonna be a productive day also.

Today was a productive workday, got up for the 8.30 meeting which I discovered wasn't actually there. Lots of good meeting and productive work done. For lunch I created this monstrosity with two TJ's rotis on the side, and bunch of the potatoes from the other day, and cheese on the inside. Sort of like papri-chat pie, you know? And because it was all a bit too rich and creamy, I added the super sour kefir as a sauce on top. And you know what, it was pretty goddamn good if shamefully rich, I'm a little ashamed I'll admit.

Napped after work because the sun that had come out for a moment was gone and I hadn't had a proper night's sleep. It lasted almost two hours, so shameful. Walked to downtown, to target to get my double-charge reversed, which they did not, checked around H-mart, nothing good, so went to Ross and bought myself a (hopefully) rainproof boot an a laptop stand that you can carry around. It's cute though less useful than I imagined. Still...it's ten bucks, so not a big loss.

From Ross I was gonna walk back when Sk texted, we made gym plans, went over to his place, gymmed for the regular time (a bit less because it wasn't planned). Got back home, wasted an hour or two watching taskmaster and reading nonsensical sites that are just junkfood for the mind and time. Made shin ramyun while I wrote, as I do right now, shin ramyum with egg on my side. Gonna finish this (the ramen as well as the writing), will brush, and call it a night, it's a good day's work done.

Daylong nap, fries for dinner, TJ's trip, munchies and latenight snack, late to bed, vitamins supplement [Sun 14]

 Because I didn't sleep during the night, I slept through the course of the day. It was not restful peaceful sleep, but it was something.

In the evening I got fries at the nearby burger-and-fries joint, and ate it outside at the park near me, while it rained outside. Don't know if it was sad or pathetic or just alright, but I didn't mind, it was goodtimes.

Because I needed to get my 10k steps in and there was not much else to do, and the stamina to write hadn't come back yet, I went to TJ's bought tonnes of fruits, vitamin supplements, and dairy-adjacent products, namely yogurt and fauxmilk.

Decided that I was done, needed to sleep not too late, and smoked a few puffs. Bad choice. I got confusingly anxious, and got the munchies too, got up late in the night, had a few pieces of fruit including the goddamn orange which needed to be cut, and the remainder of the fries that hadn't been eaten. Pathetic really, but it was my own bad decision playing out. Also had a couple of tablets of the vitamin b, c and magnesium supplements.

In the end I went to bed pretty late because i didn't get my stuff in order. And smoked too late at night. Sad.

Massive tarkari making, roti-tarkari brunch, wasted walk to portage bay, wet walk back, decadent potato-egg spicy sandwich, boys night out, comet chachas kremwork funtimes [Sat 13]

 Because I guess I hadn't taken a massive cooking project in a while, and my relationship with potatoes was become detached by the day, I made a massive batch of potato-chickpeas-green-peas-onion dish that's going to last me the entire week. It's fucking amazing, and probably healthy too, I feel a little guilty eating it because of all the potato in it but goddamit I know potatoes are pretty much a complete meal by themselves, alright? I love love love fucking potatoes, and eggs (relevant later), and it's a travesty I hadn't had them for so frigging long until recently because the people I've been hanging out with and eating with don't work with them as much as I do. Potatoes are kings, and I'm their servant, at best. Anyway, I spent like a couple of hours making the potato curry while I wrote on the side, not well enough clearly because still running late. Anyway, I had the potato curry with two rotis from TJ's.

Listened to RHlSTP and off menu podcast, as I walked over to portage bay, with the intention of crossing the canal to North Seattle and on to the AS boys. It was not to be, as the stupid bridge there was stuck in the 'open' position and it took them a couple of days to bring it back to the regular situation.

For dinner I whipped up two scrambled eggs, reheated the morning potatoes, dumped a bunch of spicy chilli sauce, and had the most nourishing, rewarding, amazing sandwich. Ahhh to be a food innovator such as myself, it's a joy, no joke. Maybe a little bit of a joke, though.

Aks was going to be coming to get pregaming, so went to QFC, got some unexpectedly expensive porter, had 2 each with him and we went our way. First it was Comet where we took the second floor, somebody clearly very drunk and out of good senses came to hang and talk, I scared them away I don't think they meant to hang and talk, then we got bored and went to cha cha's where we were having a better time but they closed it so early at 1.30, then we went to Kremwork. Sk who was supposed to join us never did, that traitor.

We got to kremework for free, for some reason I don't fully comprehend but I won't overthink it, danced for a bit, until they too were gonna be closing closer to three in the morning. Found BpD and S who's his friend, drove over to a friend R of their, nice house, great bathroom, afterpartied there for an hour-and-half, after which we drove over to BpD's place, where we spent the next five hours just chilling and talking and afterpartying. S made a new friend, Bd's roommate, the one I hadn't met, is scary, and I can hang for far longer without too many substances than people give me credit for.

We got into a shared taxi service, and left there at 7.30 in the morning. I got home, checked everything was in order, and tried going to sleep. My smartwatch tells me over the course of the day, I 'napped' for 9 hours, but not very restfully. I buy that. It was a sad rainy pathetic day, so no loss there.

Complete breakfast sandwich, catching up on sleep, at Bc's place, failed and foiled latenight plans, chill night out [Fri 12]

 Made the amazing complete breakfast sandwich with hasbrowns and avocado and eggs and cheese and sausage and spicy sauce from the day before and had it again. yum, so good.

Slept for some hours of the day because I didn't get good sleep the night before.

In the evening went over to Bc's place after dinner. We chilled, had her pumpkin pie which she'd promised me the weekend before, and finished, pretty much the last season of Kim's convenience. Planned to hang out with the boys, but they were knackered. Made some plans with Tz but he forgot to reply, didn't go to hula and went to sleep at 11.30 at night, which was pretty decent, not complaining here because I've had tiring days lately.

The best most amazing sandwich ever, gym, hang at Sk's, happy hour at Sam's, fries, rainwalk back, goodsleep [Thu 11]

 For brunch I made potentially the most ridiculous amazing awesome sandwich ever, without pickles and tomatoes. Two well-toasted slices of bread.Two pieces of flat hashbrowns from trader joe's. One large vegetarian sausage, cut into small slices. Half an avocado. two fried eggs. a healthy drizzle of the spicy sauce. nice cheese melting due to the heat of the eggs and hashbrowns. Yum. Yum, yum.

Napped after work, for some reason, don't remember why I was so sleepy. I've been taking lotsa naps recently after work, probably because it's too dark and rainy to go out.

Went to the gym, did some real hardcore workouts, as usual.

Walked over to Sk's, chilled and played with M the doggo for about an hour, changed. Then we walked over to Sam's bar, I got the chai cider which was pretty great, didn't realize the tannin would cut the sweetness so goddamn well. The rest of the Seattle gang showed up, AK was there too, talked with everybody, had another drink and walked back home in the rain because I had a 5.30 meeting the next morning. I may have taken the bus halfway through though, lets not brag too much because walking in the rain in the dark late at night sucks so much.

What 'techies go home' means, or how to be a xenophobic racist young liberal person without getting in trouble

 I see a lot of 'techies go home' stickers in Seattle. They're meant to be from this edgy ultra-liberal young hipsters who don't like how their city is being 'sold out' but it's pretty clear it's actually from privileged rich (white) assholes who don't like the fact that people of South Asian and East Asian origin have 'invaded' their dear homeland and have made it their home as well and are doing much better than they ever did, even though they own all the property and political power still. We understand what is unsaid, assholes, the dogwhistle is not silent enough.

Britney is free, finally

 Britney is free, finally. Hurray, hurray.

Leftover roti-tarkari, afternoon nap, walk beyond volunteer park, Cheese-onion-Cc sammich dinner, failure to write [Wed 10]

 For brunch I heated up the papri chat leftover from the night before, and two TJ's rotis and had them together. Yum. Yummers. Really great choice, amazing, should go about doing it again.

Napped for a couple of hours after work because I couldn't make myself go out, at all. Also, because I've been getting so lazy at work I decided that if I'm  not done with my work-work at my work hours, I'm not writing in the work journal because I can't be rewarded. SO either my complete life has to be left to collapse or I gotta get my shit together, get motivated and start writing. There's nothing in between.

In the evening I went on a walk, listening to a bunch of podcasts including 20k hertz and off menu, walked beyond the volunteer park and back. As (youngest) called me about insurance things, gave him some solid advice.

In the evening I decided to use the remaining cheese-onion-mayo mix in bread, but it wasn't enough so I put cream cheese on another slice and had that for dinner. Got too busy talking to international friends, getting caught up after a long time, so didn't write in the evening. Slept around 10.40, not exactly early. Didn't get enough sleep.

Hash-cheese-egg-sausage sandwich, proper gymming, bombay bites dinner, latenight hangout with Sb [Tue 9]

 For breakfast I made a sandwich with hasbrowns, cheese, egg, sausage and sandwich and it was yummy. So freaking filling too. Yes I know it's just a sandwich and it's boring, whatever, but it made me feel good.

Wrote a bunch after work, walked a bit but couldn't that much since it was sunny but also raining super hard, I'm quite a bit miffed about this rain situation, if only it started raining lighter like it was supposed to in Seattle I'd be a happy chicken.

Went gymming at Sb's place, solid workout. Didn't feel like cooking, asked him if he wanted to get anything, so we came all the way near my place to Bombay Bites, which is an Indian cafe I've seen a bazillion times walking by but we'd never gone in. We ordered a lot lot lot of food, and got very close to finishing everything. We had leftovers of papri chat, that I brought back home in the paper plate itself without the takeout container or anything, due to concerns for the environment.

Sb had latenight shift so he wanted to hang, we chilled at my place, talked for a couple of hours, had some kava and chilled, just talking about family, friends, getting caught over my Nashville trip, the dallas trip and his weekends.

He left towards the end of the night, and I slept at 10.30, localtime, still not too late because I'd finally turned into an adult and learned the importance of going to bed on time.