So anyway I made a very expensive and impulsive decision that maybe was fine in retrospect, but I don't know and now I'm thinking, what is it that came over me that made me take that sudden decision, out of literally nowhere with no persuading or convincing or anything like that. Like nobody told me anything ever, I just thought, stupidly, you know what, I don't know.
Pause. For an hour, when I walked all across my apartment, thinking.
Now it makes a lot more sense. I called AKS and talked to him, and he said when I was not sober I'd told him that this was a real possibility and I liked doing this a lot, like playing with the deadlines, and that he shouldn't be surprised if I made such a decision. Which means I guess this was stalking the subconcious, and came to the surface just recently, which is like fine, whatever.
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