CAT: That's right, we're doing this for the first time folks, all the money we're gonna collect today goes to cancer patients, so donate freely!
DOG: And remember, for every dollar you donate to the cat-and-dog-medical-fund, our benefactors will match a dollar in donation, effectively doubling the value of your donation. You give us five hundred dollars for the betterment of dog-and-cat-kind, and we receive a thousand dollars to put in the hard work and effort to make our feline and canine-kind healthier and safer, protecting your future and insuring we all get to live longer, healthier lives!
CAT: It doesn't end there folks, if you buy our abb blaster tummy rollup exercise machine, which you would otherwise do anyway because the holidays are coming and oh you know you're going to be indulging around this time of the year, and need to be fit for the beach and you know going out, so you're gonna be working out anyway, why waste all that money paying to the gym renting their equipment when for half that amount you could use the equipment and keep them forever, not to mention retain good resale value, so yeah if you buy our exercise machines, one cent out of every dollar of the purchase value goes to the fund, which means not only will you be donating your money, you'll also be empowering those folks who work with us, making them feel useful and entrepreneurial, telling the you're not doing a charity, it'sa business and you believe in the quality of their products!
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