Five reasons to leave your house

Times are tough we know. You don't want to infect your roommates because it would be embarrassing if you were the one who got the whole goddamn household sick for a week maybe even a month. Then there's the friends and family thing. And the general guidance. But masks are a thing six feet distancing with all of that you should be reasonably good. But why you'll ask I can order in the groceries I can order in takeouts there's videochat to talk to friends family and other loved ones I'm never ever getting out of the house again. You're wrong there! There are sO many good reasons to get out of the house, here's five of them.

1. Cute people. If you've been holed up in your apartment for three/six months and seen other people only on video chats or on tv you forget that there are attractive people out there and in general people are quite cute actually? It's pleasant to look at other people makes you warm inside makes you smile and giddy for no good reasons. They are strangers who you'll never see again and you still feel so good. That's the power of cute people! This is true whether you are single or occupied. Cute is cute it's got nothin' to do with the status of your relationships.
   
   
2. Jacked people. We've all gained a pound or two or eight since lockdowns started early march. There's fewer things to do it's tiring to be as physically active and the whole world seems just so gloomy. You'd assume it'd be the save for everyone that everyone looks like a potbellied slob like you are but you'd be so wrong! This is a little related to the first point but also different: you begin realizing once you go outside that the world has not ended there are fit ripped healthy people running about chilling around having fun and you realize hmm maybe I should start doing my pushups again it's been a while. What a great way to get inspired!
   
   
3. Shits. Once you're hold up inside your place for months and months you forget what other people are like. You know in the general sense from the news and social media but it gets vague and rather technical. By going outside you get to experience the real world with your own eyes ears and noses! And your feet, as you step on a large piece of dogturd that some asshole didn't bother to pick up. Ahhh humanity. Ahh dogs. Ahh dogshit! This is nature and it welcomes you to the real world!
   
   
4. Obnoxiously loud vehicles. This may not be true of all of us specially those who are city slickers that live in lower floors in cities. But the rest of us have significantly cut down our commutes if not eliminated it entirely. We don't hear too many loud noises or the sound of traffic. We've forgotten what the annoying roar of a large truck whose owner is most definitely compensating sounds like, the rather unpleasant sounds of those skinny mfking bikes that a gang of not very jacked bikers seems to make from their bikes on a regular basis, the honk of a bus or a car as you sit on a streetside restaurant. Well now you can hear them all, the sounds of humanity. Welcome back to the modern society!
   
   
5. Asshole drivers. Who can ignore our favourite species, the asshole driver who'll honk at you for no reason yell at you not leave an inch of space even when it's your right of way not yield for pedestrians and bikers and just create hell in general for everyone surrounding them. We missed you assholes, but now we're going to be going out in our safe bubbles relatively speaking just to appreciate you again and to make up on all the torture you would have put us through all these months!