Seven signs you might be a Slytherin

1. You have horns on your head, your eyes are read, and there's something that's coming out of your tailbone that you think could be a tail with a tiny pointy triangle at the end.
   
2. Your kitchen-utensil of choice is a trident, but like, the evil kind.
   
3. You can talk to snakes. And by talk, we're not talking about gossiping about how everyone's a traitor or gossiping about who's been sleeping or slithering around with whom and who laid how many eggs and what a ho that amanda is slithering with cobras and anacondas etcetera, but like, evil stuff. Attack this guy! Eat him!
   
4. You won the 'likeliest superhero movie villain' vote in your high school.
   
5. You lack proper nose structure, and have two tiny slits on the flat area where the nose should have been, also your face is white as a flour.
   
6. You own a big house, your family owns a lot of slaves, your daddy's got connections at the ministry, he threatens the headmaster of your school often, and you've got your own bodyguards of other students at school.
   
7. You like cold, dark places, and prefer all your classes be in basements, lairs, dungeons, etcetera.