Seven nice things you'll have to start worrying about in 2020

1. Flowers. Fart-smelling flowers. The flowers smell like farts, not that they can act all grossed out when they hear fart sounds even though they don't smell it because it was just a noise from the leather couch, okay? Jeez, why won't they let it go?!?
   
2. Trees. Poisonous trees who'll try to kill you. They'll pretend they like you and all, talk nicely in front of you but they secretly hate you and want you dead. They're not above hiring an assassin to take you out either, so watch out! Sneaky buggers, them.
   
3. Cute animals. Have you even seen their teeth, their mouth? Them sharp teeth, they're designed to piece the skin and devour one's innards. The mouths are designed, through millions of years of trials and errors to suck out the victim's blood until it dies in agony.
   
4. Air. Air is great. We breathe it, when we feel like shit we breathe more of it and it makes us feel better. But what IF air was POISON! And just inhaling it would endanger your life? That could happen, with acid rain and other evil airborne thingies.
   
5. Water. We all love water. We drink it, we piss and perspire it, we even drench ourselves in it to get cleaned up. We also ride on various crafts over it for entertainment purposes, and use it to torture each other. But think about water MONSTERS! Godzilla! Shark-Whales! So Scary!
   
6. Weed. Weed is nice. Not for everyone. Some people get too paranoid, some don't even get high and some find it just too boring. It can be overwhelming at times too. But considering the shitty things that are happening in the world right now, I bet something really bad is going to happen with weed too so watch out.
   
7. Watermelon. Gosh I love watermelon. It's like water but like, solid. Great way to hydrate and get in some electrolytes. So sweet, so read. Thank gods for watermelon. Nothing's ever gonna go bad with them, just kidding. Keep eating!