Half assing the half-assing

This has been difficult, to catch up. I'm not bothering to half-ass anymore, it's half-hearted attempt to halfass at this point, which is fine, whatever. The fiction pieces have gone or are on endangered list because I don't set proper time and deadline for myself anymore. Again, fine whatever. It hurts a little but this is not the worst that has happened, or could happen.

The original intention, hope rather was to have productive times here in Philly. And generally they have been. Just that I've been unable to direct the productivity in the right direction. General laziness prevails, blocking me from doing anything productive. The brain creaks to a halt refuses to do anything worth doing.

The brain rarely ever wants to do anything useful. It wants to chill and have fun, the cognitive load of a modern day life is taxing enough. Reasonably so. The brain needs to be trained to do a new task, you can't throw it into a metaphorical swimming pool and get it swimming, that's not how brains work. That's not how swimming works either, but tell that to the swimming instructor in the swimming complex that did it when I was in RBS in the fourth grade, the pool wasn't metaphorical at all then. I digress.

Training, how do you get into a regimen for your brain so you can get it working towards a useful task. Fixed times, repetition repetition repetition and don't miss it. Follow the rules. Follow them religiously follow them as if your life depends on them. And maybe it does, for what is life if not following the rules you internalized as a wee little toddler. Getting up early is difficult and mostly pointless as research in recent times suggests but it's something to get started with. Get up early, spend an hour writing, go on a morning walk, to the park and back shower, work out for twenty minutes and get ready for the day. Yabba dabba doo. We're sixty percent there already.

Or are we? Is it just the discipline that matters, our grit and 'lets do it' attitude, or is there something before that? I've talked about this before, how there's more than self-determination to discipline. Your physical needs to be above a base threshold. It's not just about eating and sleeping right either, they're important but not sufficient. Your nutrition intake needs to be right too. That's a big problem. There's a big deficiency of two vits in most people, Vit D and B12.

Haven't taken my vitamins in the last week, since DC really. Not that taking them makes me a more motivated person automatically. It makes it easier to be better, it needs less of an 'innate drive', the push is easy. A friend inside you who helps you become better.

Here's the plan then. It's only 11.15 right now. If I can do this and at least four more posts for today, I can get my schedule in order, sleep on time and get up on time. Take vitamins early, go on a long walk, workout, write and feel good.

Once you get going, it's easier to get going. It's hard, but you have to get going, it gets easier. You have to go for it.