Serious talk: lets get serious about the job situation

 It is not considered to be in good form to use the same word twice in a sentence: getting serious about the job situation, seriously. But this is something that's been bothering me a lot lately and I need to write it down as an acknowledgement of how things aren't going as they should be, and admission that I'm going to put in more effort and try to extract better happiness out of everything.

But there's covid too, I want to interject, and remote working, and I'm having trouble with those, I want to say to defend myself even before putting forth the original argument and yeah it's true, both of those points but I'll get back to them in a bit. For right now I want to talk about the actual problem.

And the real issue is this: i cannot for the love of all the deities around be able to concentrate much in the daily routine and what is required of me at my job, and do it in a timely manner without bothering anybody or causing harm in any manner to any of the parties involved. It's not like it's a new job either, I've been at it for a long time, but I can't put my head in front of the screen and do the things that I'm told to do. It's possible my body is rejecting the position I'm at and is requiring of me to find a different work function within the same company and aiming towards that.

Because trust me, I do very much want personal growth, I want to help people, want to be helpful to coworkers and our customers, want to be the sort of person who gets shit done, to whom people come up to for help and guidance on technical things. Unfortunately due to the situation I find myself in that's not happening it seems like, not clear but perhaps I should be more interested in slightly unrelated things? I do want to make a horizontal job change, but it's unclear that it'll be the solution to my issues.

And of course, with the remote working situation, I don't have any friends or social company, and that's most definitely not helping as I'm a socially oriented individual. A shy extrovert if I may. So now there's no 'regular' motivation to do it for your fellow fighters either.

It's a tough cookie to bite and I'm trying to find ways around it to improve and excel without causing any damage to everybody involved.