Words [Wednesday 23]

Posting late this evening because I was not feeling it, and almost didn't write. Felt like writing because...it's become a habit now, and I wouldn't have been able to sleep otherwise. I realize now I can't feel 'bad', just delayed, which is a great thing. Just wish I'd gone to bed earlier.

Working backwards this evening because my daily format has gotten boring lately.

Roommate SM just got back from school at 12.30 am, must have been a long day for him, I saw him on the restroom door and it didn't feel polite to ask. Before that, I was reading up a bit, again King's On Writing. Did 15 pushups today instead of the full 50 because giving my body a rest today. Talked to roommate PK and friend ND before that. ND is a fun person, and really gives me the respect I feel I don't deserve, considering what an accomplished lawyer she is. And we agree on all the major points about approach to life, so our conversations involve mostly nodding heads vigorously in agreement to the other's points. Could lead to neckache someday.

Before that I wrote the previous post, which I know was half-hearted, but I was not feeling it, so that's all I got for this evening. Ate dinner, which was my beans salad. I know it's embarrassing to eat 3 days old beans, but whatever, it was full of proteins and so healthy, tasted pretty good. We still have our loaf from yesterday, half of it hasn't been eaten. Need to work towards finishing that soon.

Before that had several deep conversations with roommate BB. We talked about my interest in people generally due to occasions precipitated by recent events n the household. I told him I didn't know anyone and wasn't going anywhere, but in better terms so he wouldn't feel like my therapist. We discussed my theory of cosmic equivalence, which I believe is the first time I've brought it to anyone outside this blog. It's not a mind blowing concept or anything, just a tool for people to use to have a clarity in their thoughts, and I believe it's useful.

Before that, I was in Harvard Square doing the writing group prompted writing for two hours. Went there in 89 and the red line, and walked back home from davis on my way back. Got 2500 words written most of which was egoist rambling but words are better than no words regardless of the quality of the words. I did get some good writing there too besides those, so I'm not too shy about that. Before that, I basically rested for an hour after work in my bed, caught up on the youtubes and had a quick pre-dinner snack of goat cheese and the bread baked yesterday.

Came back from work a little later than I've been getting back recently because the bus waited forever in Sullivan and the traffic near there was pretty bad. If this is how it's going to be all winter, this is going to be a bleak affair. At least I was able to get seated on a newer Green Line train after work, straight to the North Station after a long time. Since it was such a privilege to sit down, I got the writing on coconuts done there. I'm thinking of making commute writing a part of my daily routine, but I'm not sure how I'll handle the topics. It wasn't the strongest, that piece, in terms of length and honest content.

Work was pretty reasonable, with a few ups and downs but generally fine. Productive in some ways, unproductive in others (I had to do a repeat because of misunderstanding some requirements which I didn't know because I'd never worked on those projects). Had a basic oatmeal lunch, which was not at all as filling as I imagined it would be, which is probably why I was in a bad mood for the second half of the day. Had a very good 1-on-1 with the manager which I'm happy about.

Pre-lunch work was good, did some solid work done, even though I got to work 20/25 minutes later than I usually do. The reason was that I decided to take the bus 95 because it was raining and the next 101 wasn't scheduled for the next 20 minutes. Unfortunately I ended up getting on 95 way after 101 showed up near home and 95 takes longer to get to the station to begin with so I lost a lot there. The bus fiasco happened because I was late to leave home. I got up on time, but decided to go back to sleep in the morning because I'd waken up at 5am and hadn't gone back because of sleep cycle or whatever, so at least I caught up a bit on the sleep. Then my morning post was longer than I expected it to be, so I was very late to leave.

The morning dream was strange and weird, and probably one of the reasons I got up too early and couldn't go back to sleep. I don't remember what it was, but it was quite awkward -- so much so that I found it irritating that I might have to watch it again. Really, my body should be showing me medium interesting things in the morning, so I don't want to sleep for too long, or get up too early because it's awful. I need to train for that.

Realized that writing is like training for a marathon, or a game, and regardless of the quality of writing, as long as you're writing, you're working out. I'm on my way. My form may be bad, but I'm still going somewhere. The question of form arises only among athletes. I'm not one of those people anymore writing-wise who are out of shape, so I'm thankful for that.

A few hours ago PLNG called saying they'd watch the movie Parasite and were weirded out and confused by it. It turns out I may have raised their expectations too much. And SB apparently read the plot and decided he wouldn't like it. Such a loss. They should have all gone in blank with no expectations. Anyway, it's a good movie, and if other people can't appreciate it, whatever. It's not like an art movie or anything, just a commercially popular movie, a pretty good one at that. They're saying it might win the best movie overall in the oscars. I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

It's really late now, and this post somehow got bloated way beyond my expectations. I should change up the format more often so if anyone's reading it (and I know people are hoh hoh hoh), they don't go insane. Goodnight.