8 possible outcomes of negotiations. You WONT BELIEVE the FIFTH

There's a misunderstanding that the paper industry is a glamorous one. It's not true, it's like every other office job. During the course of work at an office, you have to negotiate with various counter-parties, internal and external. Here are all the possible outcomes of such negotiations.

1. Lose-lose: You both lose. Neither of you gets any close to what you wanted.
2. Win-lose: One party wins, the other loses. The loser gets mad and flips the table.
3. Compromise: Both parties meet in the middle, there's lots of give and take. Neither gets everything they wanted, but neither party comes off dissatisfied.
4. Win-win: Both parties gain from the negotiations. Maybe they don't get exactly what they want, but they're all better off and pretty satisfied with the outcomes, though not necessarily equally so.
5. Win-win-win: It's like win-win, but the facilitator wins too. It's a win-win-win outcome.
6. Fuck-kill-marry: The counterparties have to play the game with each other about all the common acquaintances they know. The side that comes up with the best one wins.
7. Rock-paper-scissor: This is more magical realism than anything else. The two parties and the facilitator are turned into rock, paper and scissor by some magical entity that's just so fucking tired of all the bullshit happening.
8. Dance, dance, revolution: The negotiating side take a break, a disco break. They start dancing. Get all pumped up. And revolt against the bullshit unfair unjust evil system. Viva la revolucion, etc!