5 absolutely nonsensical things because I need to fill in the words and running out of ideas

1. A large tub, full of warm butter, where men dip their uhh private parts, as a way to rejuvenate their virility and masculinity. It's gotta have a long an interesting mythology and history behind it, something involving the gods and how they decided to bless then humans with more children but only if they dipped their balls into a vat of cowmilk butter, and how all the great historical generals who had been thus unable to make children had been blessed with a dozen children after visiting the place.
   
   
2. Three cars, one red, the other blue, the third one brown. Driving on the highway between Colorado and Nevada, by each other's side. The trick is to have a propane gas and a pan going on the hood of one of the cars (as they drive), and cook bacon on the pan, while your guests -- seated on the hoods of other cars, strapped tightly to the frame on metal chairs, wait patiently for their food. The onlookers cheer "USA, USA, USA"
   
   
3. A hungry bear who opens a suburban trash to search for food, but discovers discarded papers and photos that prove the infidelity of the man in the house. The bear uses that information to blackmail the person concerned, who happens to be a multi-millionaire and the CEO of a company about to go public to get himself dozens of pounds of fresh fish every day, without putting any extra work besides the regular blackmailing. The CEO doesn't mind much because it's a tax writeoff -- he passes it off as animal welfare donation etcetera.
   
   
4. The city of Seattle on a Wednesday afternoon, nothing's happening, the streets are quiet besides the regular hordes of homeless people ambling about, and then there's a loud shrilling noise, bright red light, people look up and they see a strange saucer-shaped object that's obviously so very clearly piloted by a hairy cryptid who goes by the name of Sasquatch.
   
   
5.  A strange man, of Italian origin in Boston, who finds himself under extremely confusing circumstances at an extended family get-together. The Boston dive bar the family's hosting the annual event wants folks to clear up in two hours, and he just wishes it would come a lot quicker because somehow the conversation about private parts has come up. And they're talking about dipping their dicks into  butter or some shit, he's really freaked out and just wants to leave, he can't cope.