I might have to grow the fuck up

 Ugh, terrible, but true.

K bhanne yaar, I'm stressed out, for the first time ever I'm evaluating my life options, future plans and what I want to do where I want to live, and the sort of people I'd want to be spending time with. And how. It's all serious business.

The last ten years have been chill, easy, by comparison. I've been in the same greater metropolitan area, stumbled from one place to other, but still around the same general region. I live in the same neighborhood I lived ten years ago, in similar living circumstances, with generally the same friends. Roommates have changed, I've gotten two degrees and have grown up emotionally and as a human being, but I haven't had to make tough choices and tradeoffs, haven't really had to struggle.

That era of privilege might be coming to an end and I'm not looking forward to it.

Though I'll be gladly dealing with it, embracing the future and all the baggage it brings, and dealing with it like a champ.

First things first. I might be moving twice over the course of the next eight months, to great expense and social disruption. May not find myself a good crowd in the places I'm moving to. The work situation -- will be staying in the same job -- might not be stable. What about friends, and groups and the things I do. Will I have to start playing football, will I have to make friends with the sort of people whose company I don't enjoy, do things that make me feel tired and super unproductive? Or will this all be a revelation, am I just afraid to go beyond my comfort zone?

Second: driving. I will have to learn driving no matter what very soon. And get a driving license. Will I get a car as well while I go through all of that? Who knows, personally I'd rather really not because of the hassle and the cost involved, compared to the very little use I'm going to make of it. Maybe I'll rent cars in between. There are multiple possibilities.

Third, the different moves. I plan on moving to a new place, until November, when the idea is to go on a mini vacation, to Japan and Nepal, and back to the US, Boston perhaps, at which point things will be back to normal-ish, will need to find a new place to live at that point. And then what, after the gc situation works out? I need to move again to a different place, where and when that's both unclear, but I need to start thinking or at least considering at this point, because every decent place will be in consideration.

Fourth, people. What are the sort of people I want to spend time with, and how do I want to spend time with them? Not just in terms of partner, but also friends, hobbies, and parties, and other passions. My life was in stasis. Things are changing. I need to rise up to the game.