7 Signs you're actually a ghost

1. No white sheets for you, because people walk into you all the time since you blend in.
2. People throw small things, toy basketball, toy football, oranges, apples, fifteen points for your head, seven for the rest of your body.
3. All your mirrors are broken.
4. Cats and dogs go crazy when they see you, and no one believes you when you tell them it's because they're racist pets.
5. You think people would get pissed and disheartened when you boo them but it scares the shit outta' them for some reason.
6.  Cold dark nights in old large creaky houses turn you on, particularly if the house is next to a graveyard. Spoookie.
7. The feeling of emptiness, the persistent sense of impending doom and destruction, but for some reason you don't fear death, just disappearing and disintegrating into nothingness.