Living in the moment

 At the party yesterday -- gonna be writing about that in detail soon don't worry about it -- I was getting a little anxious about the living situation later this year. It's been discussed to death in these pages before so it won't be brought up. I was forced to come to terms with the fact that I will be having major life-event disruptions after the end of my current least and have absolutely no plans to deal with that. The living situation will need to drastically change, the social situation will have to adapt quickly to massive upheavals. The gist of the thing is this: the group of people I've been hanging out with for the last ten years but mostly the past fifteen is all disbanding and in September I'll be left all by myself, picking up pieces.

Not that this will be the end of everything, mind. Roommate BB will still be around and so will a few other friends, but the old gang who we had great fun with will be gone. And we didn't even get to spend time together over the last year, which is...such a big loss. Ahh to imagine what great times we might have had. Actually no, that wouldn't have happened. If there'd been no COVID then Sbk would have left last year around this time, other folks would have gone according to their moving plans, and this disruption would have arrived a year too early. My new Boston friends might have been around but it's unclear even if that would have been true. No, this is the way of the world, nothing is constant, and I was setting up myself for failure by getting comfortable with the current living situation more than the situation allowed me.

This is what I told everybody in the party last night, that I was a little bit anxious since everybody was doing something new and different away from Boston and it felt like I was going to be a stranger in my own town.

To which PD (of Brookline) told me to live in the moment. Don't happen what happens after the month, it's not in your control, you don't know how people will react to your actions. Just to it and be prepared to accept the consequences, instead of killing yourself over at the possibilities. And so did AS. She's somebody I've never talked about before here because she's from the before-times, she left to go to grad school and find a new life, loved it in her new land and then discovered that this area actually gives more flexibility so she's back now. Not in Boston exactly but close enough.

So here's the deal now. 

I'm not going to be worrying about where I'll be living for the next lease term. I'll take the minimum steps to find a roommate and a good place but nothing beyond that. If things work out, that's fine, if not I'll pack my belongings into two luggage bags and a couple of backpacks, move them into a friend's basement, and skidaddle to live with family for two months. It's an option I've already considered. If my work doesn't allow it, no matter, I'll mix and match between crashing at people's places and airbnb etcetera.

Or i'll be a homeless person living in tents. PD suggested I choose the bridges in Brookline because at least the neighborhood's nice, and I agree.