Addicted

Hi everybody. I'm ...the owner person of this blog... and I'm an information addict.

That means I'm addicted to news, or information of any kind, that's mostly not relevant to my job or other interests, as long as that information can help me distract from important problem and stressful issues in my life. Often the problem I'm avoiding is something caused by my lack of attention and focus because of my information addiction, and I further consume it to ease the pain away. Some people eat to relieve their stress, others will workout or shop or drink, or have sex. I consume information in vast undesirable qualities, every moment of my day perusing random pieces of information I get great dopamine rush consuming but which otherwise adds very little to no value in my life otherwise. I'm not learning anything, not enjoying anything, and this piece of information will never ever ever come useful to me under any circumstances at any point in my life. And yet I want it. Because it's a welcome distraction from reality.

This has always been the case, this information addiction, since my youth, but I was able to channel it at a younger age towards a more productive direction. I read scientific magazines and novels and all of that during study hours, while somehow getting my homework done under tight schedule, and they helped me with my reading skills and a general awareness of the world around me. I was reading not because I was into certain writers or universes or something in particular, I just needed to ingest more and more information and during those years when the internet was not available in the place I was at, the library and the books within it were the easiest sources of information I could get my hands on.

Now that I'm older and hopefully wise, I don't read as much because it's too much effort in terms of acquiring the satisfying junk food of information. I can satiate my inner desire for information in much cheaper, physically lighter means. Just click buttons here and there, and done! So easy! So satisfying. Yet...so destructive.

I have not yet fully succumbed to its results. There have been times when I have been successful in redirecting my desire for information towards other media such as podcasts and interesting scientific videos. And on other occasions, by completely blocking the websites that I often use to distract myself, I've removed this 'univese' from my thoughtspace, thereby allowing me to consider other things in life to distract myself with. And they work great because they somehow always end up interacting with the matter at hand, which is that how other people interact with your failure or successes, and how many times you end up choosing the right number are. These aren't exactly rolls of die, but sufficiently random events that it would take a very large processing power to figure it out. That equivalency proof they barely teach you in the class because they hope these conversations don't end up coming to the city for the issues it has.... I'm not even there yet.