Dogs (and other pets) should get jobs

This is a 'controversial' opinion, yes maybe even unpopular but being the great rebel that I'm breaking all the rules and ignoring the kabboshes etcetera, I'm just going to say this and I don't care if I get cancelled or people call me names or if all my standup are pulled out from the venues, don't just care anymore!

Anyway.

How did we get pets? Like dogs or cats or cows goats etcetera? Because they worked for us. Dogs protected us from wild animals, kept the cattle safe, herded sheep, pulled sleds, and gave us company in time of loneliness. Cats chased out mice and other vermin etcetera. So they were bringing us way more value than they ever took.

Oh how things have changed.

Housedogs these days just chill out in their corners, they'll half-assedly bark or woof if they see some threat around, and thieves can easily bypass the doggie defense system with snacks for them animals. Owning dogs is hella expensive, with the shots and medications and toys and expenses for doggy hotels and what not. Flying with them is difficult. They're taking way more from our lives than they give back to us.

Ohh, you might say, but they give us company, that's gotta count for something. Suure, suure. So does your roommate, and yet you don't give them free housing, buy them food and take them to the doctor's do you? It doesn't mean you hate your roommates, it's just that they've got their lives and you've got theirs, and you've reached a mutual understanding to live together and share company and costs. Off they go for their jobs every day, come back and chill with you, cook food together and watch tv, clean up the place, maybe even organize nice parties where hopefully cute women will be invited.

This trend needs to change.

Here's what we need to be doing: we need to get our household pets to be more productive. And why not? Great brave dogs out there are finding drug smugglers, saving people from fire, protecting flocks, helping blind people find way, giving comfort to old folks, and just adding value to the society. And they're doing that as a job. Police and army dogs have legitimate ranks in their services, and get promoted based on the level of contribution they make. That means that it IS possible for dogs to be cute and cuddly as well as useful to the society at large.

Let's not be cruel here, that's not what we're getting at.

All I'm suggesting is that we should have our dogs get jobs, maybe just a few short hours every day, where they go sniff out some criminals or help out old folks, or like train for swimming rescue missions, whatever. That way they'll me mentally and physically stimulated, get to hang out with their friends -- they are pack animals after all -- and come back to spend quality time with us. And since the work days aren't going to be too long, they're not too tired and stressed out to hang out with their humans. The other extra benefit to this is that they won't get lonely when their people are out to work, and won't need to be bored out their minds with the slackers at the day-kennel.

That's my proposal.

Think about it!