I'm basically full-time on the computer now, either for this freaking blog, or for the website. I'm not always working, it's mostly trying to avoid work, but the 6-post a day situation which was instituted last year because of extraordinary circumstances...has become untenable. I can't rest. I dnn't have the time to breathe. Even do my website work, there's no mental space, no opening. No time for relaxation. My kitchen is a bit of a mess because every day for 3 hours I have to be working on the website and this blog if I'm to get anywhere near my plans. Add 1.5 hours of walking, and 1 hour of eating, and basically 1 hour of youtubing (important!), where's my freedom yo! It's sleepy time just like that. No chance to go to the coffee shop to draw, no space for projects, no time for the public library, no nothing. Just barfing out words because I need to make a habit out of it.
It's a habit, I'm good at it now, it's done. I need to move to the next stage, which is to be good at writing. It's scary, yeah, everyone is scared to improve. But fear is the muscle-ache of mind in these situations: it means your mind is training to deal with a new situation. To not try new things and go back to old patterns is to surrender to the soreness and get back to not working out. Nuh uh. That ain't gonna work.
Fewer posts from now on here. Four a day. Maybe. Probably. I can do that. It'll take me an hour, maybe a little less. No more stressing out about 'omg what do I write in my blog'. That's all bullshit.
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