Frequently asked questions about our Heavenly King who has started looking purple these days

 Q: Well...First of all, why does our King look purple?

A: As we are all aware, his majesty, the representative of heaven on our lands, the mightiest warrior of them all, savior of the people, protector of the geese, Victor of the battle of Pond Shi'laa, has gotten a bit of a color on his cheeks as of late. On his entire body to be quite honest, from the hair to the toes, and there's no denying it. As the commoners may or may not be aware, Kings and Queens, representatives of heaven are build differently than us common human beings, some kings look orange, some green etcetera, and his Majesty looks purple under current position because of the blessings of the heavens. He has willed it that he been seen differently from the common populace, and the heavens have granted him his desires. It's possible he might look darker shades in the future, and other colors, we can't be sure, whatever goes in his majesty's mind, happens, according to the blessings of the gods.

 

Q: Well what about the numbing stench and the large pustules that are squirting thick brown tarlike substance, from what we have been told?

A: There are various rumors and misleading pieces of information going around that we wish to dispute. The King is as healthy and spry as he has ever been and there is absolutely no reason, not a thing to worry about and be concerned with. The great council would much appreciate if the citizens kept their wit and suspicions and conspiracies to themselves. The nation is as powerful and glorious as ever, as we have frequently stated in the past many weeks.

Having said that, yes, we too are aware of the various fragrances emanating from his Majesty's body and the new kinds of bodily nectar his Majesty, in his infinite wisdom and grace, has granted the earthly realm for its betterment and well-being. By the advice of those in Heaven, the ancestors, and other wise sages, fairies and as such, his Majesty has decided that the wellbeing of not just the state but the entire realm can be improved by the correct application of what is being emanated. Therefore, the council of ministers in collaboration of the Royal Council of Chemists, and the royal medicine council, are collecting those precious materials so we may be able to make correct use out of those gifts of gods to us mortals. Any suggestions that this may be something else, or even unintentional is ludicrous, and does not warrant even an acknowledgement!