Over last weekend, talked to friends N, P, and many others about what's happening with their lives, where they want to be, and how they could get there. There's also many people who are in relationships they don't necessary want to be in, which is why they're talking actively to parties outside, with the intention of changing uhh... partner affiliation, so to speak, shall the right set of circumstances arise.
People are confused. They don't know what they want, but they do know they want to get more serious with people soon, they don't know how to evaluate their options, and they don't know who to rule out and who not to. Some have the problem of being overwhelmed by the possibilities, some have more limited options and are still as confused on what moves to make.
I have the most applicable, accurate, and useful advice for people in all such circumstances. You've already seen it in the title, but here it goes again Move Fast, and Break Hearts.
It's exactly what it means. You don't have an infinite time to make your choices. You're not in your teens or early twenties anymore. There's interest from your potential partners, and in you, to eventually take things serious. But you don't want to commit, they don't want to make a fool out of themselves, there's so many better things happening, the world is in a terrible place right now, yadda yadda yadda, not a good time to make a decision. You allow the world to stop you from making any decision. If you choose to not make a decision, you're choosing to take the default option, which under these circumstances might not be what you want exactly.
The solution is to take a page out of the software management playbook, the saying there is 'break fast and break things', and eventually fix them. The idea is to focus on delivery, and mend things as you reach out there. Beat your competition to the market, so to speak, and gain audience share. In our case though, it's about being decisive. Ask someone out, go on dates with them, make sure they understand clearly you're interested in them. Give them your full interest and attention, and see how things go. Two months, four months, six months. Are they still happy? Are you still happy? If not, break the thing. Break their heart, break your heart, move on. Ask someone else out. Why not? You're not any worse-off than you'd otherwise be.
This also means that you'll quite often ask out people who're not interested even though you're quite very much. "I should have given them more time, " you'll thing, or blame me for rushing you into making a fool out of yourself. No. It's about moving fast and breaking hearts, and in this case it's your own heart you're breaking. It didn't work out, nothing to cry about, move on, talk to someone else. If it woulda' worked out, maybe there's something in store for your futures, otherwise you'll end up with a person who likes you already. Don't be desperate, be picky but decisive.
Move fast, and break hearts, and keep at it. Don't be afraid, don't back down. Be considerate, kind, and gentle. Don't be mean. Not to others, and not to yourself. And keep trying. It's right over there, within easy reach, you have to stretch your hands.
All the best!
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