One's boyfriend

This is a character portrait thing for my Appointments & Disappointments series, this is One's boyfriend, don't worry if you don't know who they are.

I was three. I saw the mountains, so blue, so cool, so shiny. I was hooked, hooked that memorable morning from the hills, the clouds beneath us. I knew that day I wanted to work in a field that would take me near them, always and forever.

I was proud My country's beauty stood way above anything Singapore had to offer. Nothing could compare to the aura of the mountains, the cool air, the feeling of being above the clouds. My family was enchanted, I was not. The malls, the people, everything there. I saw the buldings, the parks, the attractions. Our family went on a trip, our first...and last it turned out...in many years, to Singapore. I was five.

I was nine, my father got sick all the time, he had some sort of breathing problem. One day when we were playing cards during tihar he said he had trouble breathing, we took him to the hospital. He was at the hospital on and off for the next several months, until one day he quietly passed away with all of us around. My mom didn't even cry, her tears had dried out. My sisters didn't want to talk about it or our dad ever again, they stopped paying attention to their studies after that.

I was thirteen. My mom sad my oldest sister had eloped away. With some taxi driver or someone, she said, I don't even care who she says I'm not going to take care of the child. We didn't hear from the for two years, until her husband tried contacting us. They had moved to Australia apparently, and she was working as a nanny and he was working in the shops. She said she was happy. Mother told her they had to come home to get married properly if they wanted to be accepted. And they did.

I cried a little bit back home.I took the taxi home, abandoning my friend. I didn't want hookups, I wanted a respectable relationship, where people talked and joked, not some random person. I didn't want things to happen like that, I didn't want an illegitimate affair. But it didn't feel right. I had recently learned to masturbate. It was exhilerating, my mind shut down, my chest began to hurt. I got talking to this girl, and somehow we were kissing. I got drunk. Everyone was drinking, I did too. There were many other boys and girls from the school he went to, rich boys and girls, who didn't have to follow the rules like us normal people did. They had a waterfall inside the house, in their living room, with a glass wall, there were small fish in the pond where the water fell. Their house was fancier than anything else I had ever seen before, even in hindi movies. Dude was very rich, very very rich, richer than anyone I knew then. I went to a friend's friend house, his parents had gone out of the country for a few days. I was fifteen.

I was seventeen, and knew what I wanted to do...become a tourist guide. I was ready to go on tours and do trainings. I got involved in an intercollege debating competition because they said i needed to improve my English, and speaking it, practicing it, and talking to other people who spoke it would help me with it. I participated in a couple of events despite not winning anything. But a girl caught my eye, I wanted to talk to her, wanted to know her more, be around her all the time. Was I in love?