It's 5.40 in the evening of the next day. I tried, I tried so very hard to get up early in the morning, and force myself to write. Shit happened, didn't work out. Details below.
I slept really well, too well, got up at 8.30 in the morning rushed to work. Fortunately it was a hackathon day, so no harm no loss. Meeting with the director, nothing new came off of it, no more people getting fired so that was a relief.
Was really busy with the hackathon stuff. Had fruits, chocolate and nuts instead of lunch, because no proper time to eat. With my eap counselor we discussed mindfulness and meditation. We've been honing on my problem, which is that of anxiety management. You need a certain amount of 'emotional arousal' or anxiety to work, but too much of it and you stop being productive, or burn out in the the long term. I fear the burnout and the loss of productivity, so I don't get any stressed at all, so my productivity is down in the dumps. He suggested I start looking into those practices, and I've found this resource, the link to which is on the bottom right of this page, guided meditation and body scan audio. Will work on those.
Work ended late because my manager wanted me to come up with creative names for projects etcetera and I did. So much fun was had. Made a 'pre-dinner' meal that turned out to be a full dinner: grits, mushrooms, kimchi, salt soy sauce. Missed green onions thoroughly because not joking that would have totally elevated the level. I'm learning more about the fundamentals of cooking and eating by trying these simple boring meals, playing around with different carbs/protein/veggies combos.
Listened to the Andy Richter podcast, and then the Scrubs rewatch podcast, as I went on my walk. Old walk, to assembly, then cross the bridge, from Aldi to Wegmans and back. Stopped at Wegmans, bought two pounds of sugar, got back home.
Made very concentrated small batches of tea, and a thick sugar syrup. It's really fun adding water to sugar instead of the other way round, and seeing how much you need to add to get the solution to be transparent. The consistency is so interesting! Roommate BB was watching the office, loved listening to it through the room. Roommate PK had gone over to ND's.
Made a large batch of very concentrated and sweet kombucha. This time was different from others because I threw away all the pellicles and filled the containers right up the top. It's gonna be zoppity in two weeks.
Made like a quarter of a cup too much for my containers. Drank it.
Started writing, after resting a bunch. Was so inspired to write, felt really motivated. Realized it was the tea, considered drinking more in the long term. Went to bed at 11.15, slept in half an hour.
In an hour got up, felt real hot, threw away all the clothes I was wearing because something didn't feel right. Used the restroom. Tried to sleep again. Couldn't. The damn three sips of tea. If I can get my dosage right, and the timing just on point I could really elevate my productivity writing I feel like.
Slept at 1.30-2 again, which meant I wasn't going to get up early or I'd feel like shit. I gotta remind myself, if I'm not getting quality sleep in the morning I'll feel like shit either way, so it's better to just get up and do healthy things like working out and walking instead of forcing to go back to sleep.
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