General meditation updates because clearly this is a no-effort november

It's been two weeks since I started doing meditations regularly, and maybe a bit under a month since I started doing it on-and-off. I wish I could say it's helped me become an awesome incredibly focus, well disciplined, smart hardworking charming hunk of a man who the ladies, and the gents and everybody else really, pine after desperately but that wouldn't be a hundred percent accurate. I ain't no hunk.

So it's helped me de-stress lately, though I'm generally not too stressed out as a matter of existence, so it's unclear where we're at with that. One thing that's improved must definitely that I've felt is at least in the meditations themselves I can feel myself getting more aware, more comfortable with not getting distracted and maintaining the sharp laser of focus. The instructions in the app tell you to use that focus in other aspects of life too, the point of meditation is to help you become a more directed and doing person in life generally, I'm trying to avoid using the word 'productive' so hard right now. Haven't gotten there yet, but I think I'm on the right path. At least during the duration of the meditation I feel calm and even happy. It's only 20 minutes every day, but the instructors say that it's not about how long you do it every day, but that you make it a practice that you do every day continuously without any compromise. Make it a part of life like brushing and making bed, or drinking water. Doing it for 5 minutes every day is better than doing it for an hour a week and then forgetting they say. Makes sense to me.

Speaking of which, I've read and learned a lot about the book Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. It's the foundational work on 'flow' and 'focus' and how it's related to meditation and mindfulness. Unsure if I'd want to actually read it, but sounds cool. I bring this up because they talk about how long it takes an action to become a habit. The old saying about 21 days and it's a habit is apparently not very accurate, it could take as long as seven months, and the mean/median generally is around 66 days. Which means I'm not even a quarter of the way through. No matter I'll work my way there.

What I'm worried about is if meditation goes the way of my writing. I've been writing regularly, as a matter of habit, recently but now I seem to find it difficult to write as 'fun', it's become too compartmentalized. I should set more hours for 'free thinking and writing', in the morning specially. I'm always going for those 'four posts', five-hundred words, fifteen minutes, an hour of writing at a time, and it's beginning to feel counterproductive. It's great that I'm writing as a matter of habit and I don't absolutely hate this, but is it hindering my opening up about writing more extensively and as a matter of passion, I'm wondering. Or is it just the structure I've created, the requirement of a certain number of posts per day, of a certain kind that's created this strange incentive for me to not be too into writing writing.

What if mediation becomes mechanical as a practice, and I forget the true spirit of it. They say every time you start a practice, be like a child, with no expectation. Don't set yourself for excitement or disappointments, whatever happens will be new and exciting. Easier said than done, though something to ponder upon.