Instructions for a drinking party, Kyosai style

Inspiration from this illustration. 

Here is some more context to an image, in addition the poster talks about the epic fart battles that Kyosai also illustrates.

Don't get too drunk and cry in front of an attractive topless woman. Truth be told, don't do anything in front of any topless women when you're drunk. You're drunk and not thinking straight, you don't know if she is trustworthy or not. For all you know she could be a fish-woman and this could be a ruse to get you to open your secrets to them. She could use it to blackmail you in the future, or worse just eat you whole. And you won't even know it.

This should be obvious and we don't have to be telling you this, but history tells us otherwise. Avoid keeping your sword near you during or after a drinking party. Understand that weapons and drinks don't go together. A drunk person is remarkably easy to provoke, you don't want to end up discovering the next morning that you attacked and potentially eliminated your close allies and friends and only because they were talking to your girlfriend who was only asking them how their family was doing.

Don't take your top and dance like a wild banshee in front of everybody no matter how much you feel like it. That will only make you look like a fool even if you believe in the moment that you are the best dancer in the room. The alchohol also causes fundamental changes to your appearance so people who don't know you in real life could mistake it for a demonic dance and make an attack upon you. This is also a good reason to ban all sorts of weapons at your parties really, from friends as well as foes.

Be extra careful with your belongings. It doesn't matter if you're the organizer or if you're going to somebody else's place, your belongings are likely to be more vulnerable when you're out of your mind and thus much simpler to steal. To avoid this, do not take any expensive ideams or bags of yours to the party, hide your belongings under strict lock and key features, make sure not to let any people you've not seen before be privy to your secret combinations.

Do not try to fish for compliments, or people with sandals on the end of a fishing rod. It's unlikely to work as they will eventually discover the other pair and blackmail you into giving them the corresponding pair, with the threat of destroying the one in their possession. It never works out in your favor.

Do not try stealing tankards of mead and sake from the store, the owner is bound to eventually catch you and brand you as a thief. There are easier and cheaper alternatives to acquiring booze.