One's lament

This is a poem from the point-of-view of the protagonist of Appointments & Disappointments.

Ohhhh how I wish
The world all around me
Was the world
That I thought
It would be.

Ohhh how I wishhh.

I am just a girl, just a young young girl
They say, you've not seen, you've not lived
You don't understand the complexities, ever
The world is great, and oh so bright
Go forth, go ahead and prepare for the grand fiiiighhhht.
Ohh how I know, how I know, that I'm set for the fight
It ain't right, the world I live in, it aint right
Oh so dark, and gloomy, and ohh so sad
For a girl, that's like me, it's only ever bad
Not a hope, not a glimmer, not a ray of shine of Sun
I am just a little girl in my little world trying to have some fun.

And yettt.
And yett and yet and yet.
I can't, even in my little hole, live the life I wish to be
The tiny things, that happen to everybody else the fun things in life
They just don't come to me, oh how sad, they won't just come to me
My twin, she's a bore, if only I may say so, a part of my heart that she is
Still a bore, she doen't care, she doesn't see the world for all its evils
She doesn't care, she doesn't fight, and yet the things work out so right
What I want and what I fight for, she gets for freee, without so much as a fight
She doesn't she doesn't fight, she just gets it, with not a hint of her willlll.
A piece of my heart, a piece of my moon, she is, she is all I got
Yet I crave, yet I envy, all that she has though she has never foughttt.
My life, oh my sad little life, the struggle that it is
Is all hers if she cares it to be, but she won't fight, she just doesn't careee
I am the twin, I am the sadsack, I am the little girl who does not understand
The one, the one, the hero of the story, oh what. a sad.sack. of a hero, my story ain't so grannddd

I am just a little girl, who just wants to have her fun
Yet the world conspires against me, the universe sends me on the run
A boy that I found, finally for what I want, and I want and I so so so want
That I may forever be a sadsack, a loser a complainer that's such a major haunt
And ohhh so it may come true, it could very well me my life
For what I may do, for what I may care, I can't seem to get this one thing right
To make love to my boy, my man, the person I have seen, to make love if only by the
darkness of the night
That's my story, that's my tale
Having sex with someone I care, that's my major major fail
I ain't a loser, I ain't a scrub
Yet why fail, why oh why must I fail, at that which is nary a tug?

They laugh, they point, I know they do it at me,
I know, I know for sure, though it is true I can't see.
Such a loser they whisper, right as I go out of sight
Why oh why, our meetings, our affairs, can they never go so right?

I am just a little girl, who complains a bit too much
It is true no, there ain't a lot else going wrong, not as such,
But the heart is small, and ego is owhh so fragile
Why must the universe test me, my desperation goes longer than the nile.
I ain't evil, I ain't shit, then why for that one thing I want why do I suck?
Can't the universe just get it over with, and let me have a grand first fuck?