Eggplant: one underrated vegetable, so many possibilities
Cut eggplants into thin round slices, let soak in salt water for several hours. Lightly coat with rice flour and deep fry in hot oil. For dipping sauce make a soy-sauce-and-garlic concoction. Yum.
Cut eggplants into bite-sized chunks, cover with corn flower, fry. Make a sauce out of rice flour, salt and a little sugar, cook it for a while. Cook mushroom and green veggies, drop the eggplants into the mixture. Season with favourite cooked spices and seasame oil. Yum.
Boil a big bucket worth of water, add three pounds of salt. Drop in all the eggplants you can buy for ten bucks at a cheap market like the haymarket, go late in the evening on Saturday and offer to buy in bulk so you get bigger discounts than their already reduced prices. Drop them into the boiling vat of salt-water, and turn using a big laddle like a witches brew. Seven times clockwise, thirty six clockwise, and then drop in the hair of a cat, foot of a toad and a leaf of the redwood oak that is at least two hundred years old, though the older the plant is the better results you get. Wait until the mixture turns green and starts bubbling, and then dump in three eggs, of any animal you wish to use the hex upon. Wait for thirty six hours, never letting the water dry, and extract the eggs. Dry them in the sun for seven days, turn it into a powder, and feed it to a pregnant female goat. After the goat gives birth to kids, let them grow to be mature adults, and shear off their horns and the males' semen. Powder the horn and dry the semen, mix them both into mild water until they make a good syrup, add sugar if you must and feed it to the target of your spell. Within sixty hours of ingesting it they will start following your every wish or your money back.
Now this one's a little more complicted than your everyday recipe. Dry a couple of hundred eggplants, and drop into a vat of boiling water, creating a nice big mush. Drop in some solid glue made of animal hooves. Spread out the mixture over a large area and let the sun dry it out over many days until you get a large sheet of sticky leather-like substance. Using any threat of your choice, sew the sheet together to make a balloon, bigger the better, and fill it with cow farts. Don't ask me where you're going to source that, figure that out for yourselves dumdums. Balance two of those balloons on a superfine titanium scale until the bar is exactly parallel to the surface, then let it go. The contraption should fly or at least take a very long time to fall down. Now if you could somehow connect it to engines and seats and other modern devices, it should make a goddamn good airplane no? The rest of the tasks to get there are left as an exercise for the reader.
Some obvious and some not-so-obvious uses of Eggplant
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