Six things that are believed about meditation that I for godssake hope are true

I've been meditating decently regularly these days. It's not been easy, and I'm not good at it. It's so very easy to get distracted by the thousand million other things to think about, look at, pay attention to or generally have fun with. But I'm trying. FOcusing on one single thing so I can channel that lesson into focusing on the task at hand throughout the day. That's my only goal to improve my focus and mindfulness. But people claim a bunch of cool things can happen if you're an advanced medicant. Here's 12 other things people say will happen that I really hope are true because wouldn't life be so much better then? Here we go.

1. There's a bright light behind your head, sort of like a Sun, but it could also be a plate depending on who's drawing your portrait. Or perhaps it's attached to your head, like a cap that you get to wear if you're advanced enough of a mendicant. It'd be sick, every place you go to you'll brighten it up, and freak the heck out of everybody else. Think job interviews where the other contenders will just give up because of that glow, or actor castings. It'd be one heck of a power move.
   
   
   
2. You can float up in the air. Not too much, like superman or all those heroes but enough that people can tell you're not touching the ground, when you're deep in your meditative trance. You could eventually get your engineering friends to rig up various contraptions where you could use this ability for mobility purposes, or even towards generating energy. Specially if this was powered by secret undiscovered energy source, you'd become a mystical power source all by yourself. You'd never have to connect to the electrical grid again, you'd be off-grid always!
   
   
3. Fame and name. This is not something you should be angling for, it should be the last thing you should be looking at really, but if you are good enough, people come to your for advice and to listen to your sermons. They write about you, turn those letters into religious texts and Boom! you could turn into a minor or even a major deity within a single lifetime. Wouldn't that be quite something!?
   
   
4. You get followers. As Creed Bratton says, you have way more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader. Having followers is fun, they can do your bidding, get you out of tight spots. They're basically your posse except they work for you for free and no matter what you do they're not going to be disillusioned by you. You wouldn't get this sort of support even if you paid for it!
   
   
5. You get to ascend. This is optional, it may or may not happen. But if it does, you like rise up from this realm into the heavens and get to chill with other great MVP's like Buddha and Christ and Sai Baba. It'd be rad, like joining a band with your favourite musician and performing with them, except you suddenly know how to play music.
   
   
6. You get books and religions after you. It's unclear why it would be beneficial for you personally, but sounds like a good idea. If you're a great enough mendicant and your name and fame is widespread enough you get your entry into the holy books and eventually there will be a religion or at least a minor sect whose purpose will be to worship you. Ain't that something now?