A colorful past, a drab future

 They call me the stupidest of the three friends. When they see me they act like they know me and love and respect me and everything. Coach what a wonderful life you've lived they tell me. But I know the truth, after I leave they speak of the adventures of my youth and how I didn't have anything to contribute. It's great, they say, it worked out for him, this...this gig, yannow, and least he's decent in this. Otherwise...you know...his wife, she's a sure minister in the coming years, the first muggle even, they're saying she's going to bring about big big changes, with other magical creatures and what not. And hee...he. You know he's got a great family too. Father was in the muggles office, one of the best, the most honest and hardworking the ministry has had in a long while, his mother brought up eight of the brood, such hardworking lovely woman. His older brothers have all gone to do great stuff, younger sister is an international star, yea yea...yup that's her, she's quite the name by herself, most don't even know who her husband is.

That's what they say. A disappointment to my family. The lowest achieving among my friends. The dotard.

Can you blame me then, if I've got to distract myself with...mead...in the evenings? Drinking's not good for your physical self, specially when you've got a job like mine, I know that alright of course I know that my players have to go through the test every week to make sure they've not been slagging off. Keep to your best health I tell them, you never know when danger might strike. You're preparing not just for a tourney, not a match, but for your whole life. This is a workout for your being, I tell them. And they look at me with awe. My players they do respect me that I'm proud of. They hold me to the highest of regards because I expect so much out of them, I give them such respect. You need to have respect for somebody, what I don't have for myself the players get that.

Every evening after the wife has gone to bed -- she goes early for she wakes at 4 which is even earlier than mother does -- I take the bottle I've strategically hidden around the house and go at it. Look at the old photos, newspaper clippings, the articles and profiles they've done on me. Every one of them, every goddamn one, has the longest piece on what my wife does, what my best friend does, what my family is....my achievements seem to be on the byside even when the whole goddamn article is supposed to be about me. Talk about me and what I've done I want to shout at them how does my wife play into this my bestfriend is not the one training the players, my sister the international diva has her own life don't drag her into my achievements, but no I do none of that. I explain to them patiently with a large stupid grin taped to my face that I'm indeed very proud of the people I've got around me, what a goddamn honor it is to be in the company of such great men and women etcetera etcetera.

My heart swells up when the few times of the year we go back to the school and I see the kids and their achievements, and reminisce about our own. We lived such great exciting lives, our intellect and courage tested at every moment but we never gave up. We were tested by fire...dragonfire, quite literally and we came out stronger and wiser than ever. Perhaps I hold myself to standards too high, there's no comparing myself to those days. We were young and foolish, we could take the weight of the world on our shoulders without so much as a peep. I couldn't do that again, never. Too much worrying, I've got other hobbies and interests, dealing with bad people and constantly fighting evil is not something I want to eb doing again. My friend, he's got the mentality to do that, he has to keep fighting or he collapses in. Sometimes when the wives are away we get drunk and cry to each other. He says he has to live on the edge or he stop functioning like a normal wizard, turns into a puddle of laziness and tears. I pat him on the back, tell him something similar but even then I'm too ashamed to admit my true failings. I'll cry, but for different reasons.

I am Ronald goddamn Weasley.