Eight times my cookiing has failed me miserably

1. This thanksgiving, when I forgot that putting par-boiled potatoes inside a big pie would mean the potatoes in the middle wouldn't cook well because of heat transfer, which is why despite blitzing the goddamn thing for almost two hours at insane temps, the inside of the pie still has crunchy taters.
   
   
2. That one time during covid when I tried to make soft yummy bready pretzels, but ended up with hard crispy pretzels instead, and had to eat it for the next to weeks.
   
   
3. That one time when my millet pancakes turned out to be millet porridge ish, and I had to force it down my throat because how else would I learn?
   
   
4. That one time when I added really sour bamboo shoots to an already very sour vegetable in Boston, and had to keep eating it for days and oh I was so miserable at the whole situation.
   
   
5. That one time in Boston when I tried making an eggplant dip, but didn't realize you were supposed to peel the eggplants first, and ended up with this really disgusting item that even I couldn't eat anymore.
   
   
6. That one time almost two years ago when I cooked rice, I think it was but it was so so wrong because the texture was that like of meat, and it was chunky, and I really really wanted to finish it but couldn't because my body would literally reject it. Had to waste it against my wishes.
   
   
7. When I was younger, in my early teens, I made several massive omlets with raw noodles in them, precooked ones, but still. Didn't work out. Terrible idea.
   
   
8. When I thought tripe was another name for honeycomb, and tried using it as a source of sweetness...uhhhhhh.