The hot block of lead in my tummy is not great

 The above with little to no added comment. I'm not digging this emotion and vibe, the complete loss of control as the vehicle that is presumably my life takes series of strange intense turns one after other. To become vulnerable is to hand over the reigns away from one's hand, and be open to be driven possibly into a ditch by an unknown driver. Got nothing against ditch-driving, an experience of such nature every so often can be decent. But when there is even a slight possibility the new driver could be adversarial, if there's even a figment of chance, then shit's rough. One finds oneself under such un-ideal situation. If there is even a hint then that the cart is headed to a minor cliff, things get so much more tricky. By a hundred times. All one can do is wait, and pray.

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