Fifteen reasons to absolutely avoid doing any sort of physical exercise

1. You don't want to look too good, people will think you're a show-off. You want that? How awful would that be!
   
   
2. Eww putting effort into improving your health and physical appearance. That's like working hard to...become...a good person! If you were really healthy, you wouldn't work out at all! That's what REAL health looks like!
   
   
3. If you are too jacked and muscled know, it'll hurt your bones in the old age. Or so I've been reliably informed by a friend who is medicine-adjacent who's never worked out a day in his life.
   
   
4. Working out creates lots of sweat. If your body meant to lose lots of sweat, it would just do it all by itself, without being forced to! It's a precious fluid that gives the body internal strength, and shouldn't be wasted...much like sperm.
   
   
5. Working out makes you strong. You know who else is strong? That's right, fascists! Do you wanna be one of them!?
   
   
6. Besides, it's all a propaganda by Big Exercise Machine and Big Health to spend money on crap nobody needs anyway. Healthy people don't worry about health, that's how you become healthy. By not worrying.
   
   
7. If your health is better now, it'll surely go down at some point, and it'll be a great cause of worry which is awful for blood pressure. It's just setting yourself up for disappointment.
   
   
8. Your joints and muscles aren't meant to be worked out so hard! That's why they hurt. People who work out get old quicker and become immobile early in life because their bodies had to tolerate so much stress.
   
   
9. It's hard work!
   
   
10. Working out makes you hungry, and you eat more. Which gives you more calories, and makes you gain weight! It's the quickest way to getting heart attacks, besides eating a lot and NOT doing workouts.
    
    
11. You stink after a workout, nobody likes a stinky boi.
    
    
12. Throughout history, only poor people have had to do strenuous physical workouts. Ergo, if you're doing strenuous physical workout, you'll be seen as a poor person.
    
    
13. Dad-bod is en vogue. Working out doesn't make you look as good as you think.
    
    
14. I've heard women say they don't like guys who are too jacked up. So it's a good idea to workout only if you are interested in men.\
    
    
15. It's not a fun activity, why would anybody do it!