10 Things to not tell people when they tell you about their father's passing

1. I hope this is not related to the lightbulb was it that he got stuck in his....thing...the one you mentioned the last time we talked?
   
   
2. Again? Didn't you take like a three week vacation last year because he died then? Did he come back from the dead or what.
   
   
3. Did YOU shoot him, because you need to be careful with those pointy things man almost took my damn eyes out the other day, don't don't don't go about pointing them at me again noww!
   
   
4. Wait I thought you didn't know who your father was and that any man over the age of twenty seven and under seventy-five could have been your father, you said the other day?
   
   
5. Oh man, does that mean you can't come with us to get custard?
   
   
6. ...so what? Thousands of people die in this town every day. His death is less than one percent of one percent of one percent of one percent of deaths happening right now, in the big picture it's absolutely nothing. You're not crying for all the hundreds of thousands millions of people dying everyday are you? YOU HYPOCRITE LIBERAL TARD! Snowflake! Grow up, you freakin' hypocrite open you eyes up and see the reality.
   
   
7. Did you really have to tell me that just as I was about to cum?
   
   
8. So is he like your father father as in husband of your mother, progenitor of your genes, grandparent to your child-to-be, or was he like one of those sex daddies people have these days? Whaaat?
   
   
9. Talk of catastrophe! This is the worst, I'm so sorry! You lost your father, I lost my comb that I swear I put it on my dresser. Can things get any worse!
   
   
10. OOoohhh when's the funeral, I'm excited for a nice buffet, I'm dying for a good well-catered funeral party!