Thirteen signs the date may not be going as well as you think

1. Are her lips and teeth...supposed to be...dripping with....blood? Is that blood? She did have the steak extra rare, you've never seen anyone else do that and the way she went right at it like a primal creature was quite odd, but maybe that's how everyone does this?
   
   
2. In the fourty-five minutes that you've seen her, two of her close relatives have gotten into serious accidents under totally different circumstances, her brother's boyfriend has broken up with him and seeking the sister's help, their parents are considering getting a divorce and her pet snake's dead.
   
   
3. Speaking of pets...The more she talks, the more interesting and dangerous her pets seem to get. All seem to have a history of attacking her former partners too. You don't completely buy that two of her exes had to be taken in take-out boxes, but there's got to be something behind that?
   
   
4. Everytime you try to talk about something stupid hoping not to be overheard, the entire restaurant goes quiet. Almost as if...
   
   
5. She's gone to the rest room for the seventh time in twenty minutes. Apparently it takes women a very long time to do the short stuff too.
   
   
6. She keeps bringing up her dad who she hasn't talked to in years who is in prison for a triple homicide, all of her former partners. You don't understand why she keeps stressing he escapes prison once he finds out she's dating, to kill her boyfriends.
   
   
7. She has a long shiny sharp-looking sword by her side and the way she's looking at the handle is making you a bit uncomfortable.
   
   
8. She claims she has seven children and thirteen cats, despite living in a studio apartment in the big city. Also it's not physically possible to have twelve men father the seven children like she claims.
   
   
9. You've asked her if she's got stomach-flu and your date says she doesn't but you don't understand why she retches every time you try to talk.
   
   
10. Some men jumped in through the roof and took her away on a chopper, her parting words to you were 'i had a good time with you, I'll call you'
    
    
11. She claims she is a very sexual creature but from what you can make out of it, her entire repertoire consists of sucking on her fingers. She looks like a hungry dog trying to chew its skin out.
    
    
12. She said 'it's not you it's me' twenty minutes into the conversation.
    
    
13. She's referred to you as Bobby for the tenth time in five minutes. It's very much not your name. Also she winks when she calls your name.