The eight alternative careers of the great Mr. KP Oli

1. Historian.
   
   He knows exactly how people lived back in the day. They didn't have cellphones and the internet like you do now, he says, they had to walk everywhere they wanted to go. And how come everyone believes people were marrying people from hundreds of miles away huh, they were literally only marrying their neighbors and their neighbors. He speaks the truth about history.
   
2. Educator.
   
   Buddha didn't complete the tenth grade either, Mr. Oli says. Just like me. You can't go asking what his standardized tests were like because he didn't take them since he was so smart. Just like me, he doesn't say though he really wants to. Mr. Oli's commitment towards holistic education and personal spiritual growth is admirable.
   
3. Doctor.
   
   Eat this. Eat that. Doctors don't know shit. This is what pregnant women should it. Children should not eat that. The elderly would do well if they did that. And so on and on and on. Mr. Oli's talks are full of nuggets of medical advice, so we can only assume he was a great Baidhya in a past life.
   
4. Engineer.
   
   Who says a boat can't sail that way, Mr. Oli'd been known to say, looking at a whitewater fall. He can engineer means of transportation considered barely possible by lesser minds at universities and research institutions. They couldn't have build the bridge across the ocean, so they must have instead taken boats, joined them up one with other, he'll probably say soon enough. We have learned so much!
   
5. Epidemiologist.
   
   He doesn't think he knows it better than the experts. He knows he is an expert, so there is no doubt no confusion on how the current crisis can be averted. If only everyone listened to him!
   
6. Comedian.
   
   This is quite obvious but it's clear that he really really wanted to become a standup comedian at some point, failed at that, failed upwards to become a Prime Minister, and hasn't lost the dream of making people laugh. Which is why he will stay whatever the fuck will come into his mind at that very moment during a press consideration, without so much as a tiny consideration about what the impact or consequence of his words might be. Genius! Much like Larry David!
   
7. Religious scholar.
   
   His apparent knowledge of the books, and the confidence with which he presents them to his crowds make it clear that he's the leading expert in whatever belief system and mythology he's talking about. It may be that his version of the story doesn't match with literally anything known to man, but that's just because he is so far ahead of the curve, he is making the curve. Everyone else is just too scared to contradict him.
   
8. A good political leader.
   
   He is shit at it, a laughing stock, but maybe if he'd chosen a different career path he could have become a comedian who tried his hand at politics and turned out to be pretty well-liked.