A weird af shittin' night hellyeah

Prompt: You've had a rough day at work. You head home and go straight to bed, mumbling, "I wish I'd wake up tomorrow and be anyone but me," before dozing off. When you wake up in the morning, your dream has come true, as you quickly realize that you are not you—you are someone else that you know! Excited to live the day in that person's shoes, you set off, only to find a day in the life of that person isn't as easy as you imagined.

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Ah shiiit!

Shoulda' known better than to tempt fate.

Listen, it was a hard night alright, I had drunk a fair amount after what...it was...eons...since I had really drank...and my body's not like what it used to be, zero tolerance I ahve, some days I'm tripping on two tallboys and i'm wondering have the beers gotten really stronger these days, or is somebody trying to roofie me or something because this shit ain't right, this ain't ain't right, something must be so wrong because there's no goddamn chance in helll I'd be down and out in two tallboys then somebody tells me that's how it be, that's what age does to ya', i'm like fuuuck this ain't good, this wasn't supposed to happen to me, I'm the heaht and sauwl of the paahtea I'm so fuched ain't ai, that's when the realization came, you know, that these things were not fo me, I was turnin' into an oldtimer. Sure, I did a little bit of the...other stuff..  you know, you get my gist, but they're not the same and they really fuck you ova, you look at your face you've aged like a mothafukin' decade in two days of partyin' so I tell myself that booze is the only way to go, none O' that synthetic shit yeah. But now it's seeming like the booze too, it ain't my friend anymore looks like. Fuck. Fuuuck meee.

So anyways, I wakes up and looks at myself, last night such a toughie you're not gonna believe me, it wasnnt just the oldboys tallboys I mean, I got into a little bit of fight with my lady, not a big deal we fight all the time and make up too, and boyoboy the sex is so good sometimes I'm wonderin' if I'm just setting of those fights to get her 'n the mood, ya know if you know, and that was rough then a coupla' tough guys out in street tryina mess with me, I didn't get physical with them, I was like fuckuyou and they pushhed me around now if I were any younger you know how it woulda' turned out, three fuckin' dead bodies right there on the street, but I was old and tired so my girl dragged me away even though we was fightin' that's how your bitties be when yer older, they take care o' you even when yer fightin', sleeping on the couch and the floor was tough and I tought yannow I'm gonna get me some ole' pot to help me sleep, which made it all worse, which is maddde madd not possible at awhhl but ahhh fuckme oldage this is what happen I felt worse and Itell myself I fuckin' hate what's happenin' to me, I wish I'd wake up tomorrow and be anybody but me, literlly have me be anyone but this guy, and the next thing I know, I'm deep asleep don't remember a thing.

So when I wake up this mornin', thinkin' I'm gonna ask for fawhgivness with the lady and listen there laddies you younguns you make a mistake you apologize you don't make a mistake, you say sorry, you find her fuckin' somebody else, you take her home and it's you who's gotta say sorry alright cos' that's how it works, if you want your girl to be wid you, you ain't talking shit to her in private...maybe a little in public but in private she's the fuckin' queen of your life, she's the goddess, you give her what she wants and I know my babe want some apology which I was gonna give, and she was gunna be alright and we make up, sex that's where it's at. All things forgiven and forgotten and you live to see another day. Nobody's none the wiser, amirite?

Well, not in this case, it seems like if you know where I'm gettin' at, of course yannow where I'm heading at cos I told YA okay, I literally put it down in these many words in these pages what it was gonna be, and now you're bitchin right all sayin' hey you're just buildin' up the story and not giving us the real deal, the meat the potatoes you know where the real stuff at, give it to me old man, yer sayin' and you know I'm not into that buddy, not into that anymore, if I was a younger man, and very..uhh how shall I say...not...in avail of other opportunities, I mighta' taken a shot at it, you know you gotta keep your mind open, can't be like 'em hicks, but no mo' okay, not fo' me I 've got my lady the apple of mine, and she's gonna take me places I know that. Well so the story right right, the meatpotato, well here's the deal, some fuckin' weirdo godassshit or whoever there's outthere maybe some sorta' alien or sumein' heard me alright and I wake as somone else. It was weird as shit, so strange, I ain't gonna lie. Algith, maybe I'll tellya a lil' more just cos' yer beggin for it so bad.