Review of the movie Kajillionaire: Skip the trailer and reviews, watch the movie

The movies that have blown my mind, made me feel feels, and really stayed in my head years after I've stopped actively thinking about them have been ones I go in blind to watch. No trailers, no reviews, no comments, nothing. Just watch the movie. This is one of them. If you ever intend on watching the movie, and I suggest you do so, very much, stop reading this at this point. Go to netflix, or whatever service may be hosting it, because it's online somewhere in one of them paid services, and just watch it. Go for it, no shame. The rest of the review can wait.

Let the real review begin now.

I'm not one to hope for female nudity in movies. I recently watched a movie called Tokyo Fiancée, where there was ample nudity of the lead character, a charming woman I'm sure, but I was not into it. I felt a bit offended truth be told, for the movie strutting about her young naked body when the story most certainly did not demand it. Unless it wanted to show how fragile, young and pathetic she was, a child basically, and that the viewer should feel bad about sexualizing the character. In which case a single nude scene would have done, it was the nudity that made me think less of the movie less. Once they'd made their point, they didn't need to hammer on it. It's a lazy cliched trope, as if there's not enough female nudity to see out there. I'm a firm believer in the strategic use of nudity and sex scenes to make a point.

And owh dear. If any movie ever needed a female nude scene, top-only, then it was this. I told 'em, my friends when we watching this the other day, and I'm repeating here: a single nude scene, breasts pressing against breasts, the look of passion and absolute thirst for one another in the characters' eyes would have elevated this movie to another level. An almost-perfect dish that's lacking a certain something, just a touch less salt that the perfect amount.

That comes from a place of love and adoration for the movie. Gina Rodriguez, who is the titular character in Jane the Virgin, I shall refer to as thus, is an amazing performer. With an unbelievable body. The show had made me look at her in a...maternal light, but this movie shows, even as she is older than me by almost a decade, she would be fine playing characters much younger than myself. She has the charisma, the eyes, and the body to pull it off. And yes, the other actors are really great, they play their messed-up characters with near perfection, but ooh Jane the Virgin, how we misjudged you!

The story is what one could call an American version of Parasite: a family of conmen that's broken apart due to circumstances. There's no deaths, it's not a thriller like Parasite, nothing to stressful. It's billed as a dark comedy, as you might expect from a family of conmen who have to learn some lesson or another. But it's a lot more then that. It's about who we are as people, and if it's the nature that shapes us more, or nature. At it's very core, it's an attempt at asking the age-old question: are we really, all things considered, just like our parents, or can we break the chains of destiny and nature and nurture, to live our lives as our 'true authentic selves', whatever that might mean? Are we just a collection of social culture memes, shaped by our families and upbringing, or are we balls of hopes and desires, and individual freedom and can we seek those despite the circumstances. Are we people, or are we agents of the larger society?

The film has a definite take on that, one I agree with, maybe not for everybody, but the movie is worth a watch regardless, even if you disagree with what the thesis appears to be. Or perhaps you could look at it as a subversion of the point it seems to be making, that the future is uncertain and unknowable, and a small battle does not a war win. Perhaps we are just pathetic wet balls of organic matter floating around, and we revert to our original condition, given every opportunity. We don't know, the movie doesn't answer that. But for the question itself, you must watch it.

I read elsewhere that the kiss at the end of the movie, spoilers OOPS, was the most powerful in cinema in recent memory, and I will agree to that. Never before have I wanted two characters to end up together, to do something, show a sign of affection, and to kiss, just kiss and keep kissing, dear gods because that just brightens up the whole goddamn world.

One could argue this movie is mostly about cults, and deprogramming ourselves, and how our families are mini-cults in themselves with own rituals and practices and weird quirks, and it would be true, sorta, but that's tangential to me. This movie for me was about love, and how unselfish and carefree it can be, and how one ultimately decides one's fate, despite the Universe.

Really, watch this one.

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