Kitchen conversations at the Lucknavi girl's place

Fiction, obvs

She didn't want to have a ceremony. They were afraid I might abandon her if there was no social validation and proof of the wedding. I explained to him that's not how things worked in America, if she was coming with me, we'd have proof of marriage, and she'd be my partner legally in the country. Which meant, I reminded him, that she would have the rightful claim to fifty percent of all my wealth.

But oh yeah, she interjected, you also have fifty percent on MY wealth how about that, maybe we should write a prenup like the hollywood celebrities so we're for sure certain you're not doing it for the money, trying to bag a rich girl so you can dump her after getting all her moolah and using that to have fun with the white chicks yaahhh.

Huuhh, that hadn't occurred to me yet, I said, but it sounds like you've thought a lot about it, sounds to me like you've got a pretty evil plan going on in there huh, I said, handing her a bundle of papers to look at, for getting us legally married.

Aunty, her mother was never comfortable about us teasing each other about intentions and fidelity. May god keep your relationship safe and stable, away from anybody's evil eyes, don't even talk about things like this, bad luck is only a doorknock away, you shouldn't be inviting it by talking like this, she said.

NO aunty, I said, your daughter's so set and strong, she would scold away bad luck like a little child and scare it away, never to come back in our lives, I'm a lucky man. I'm but a servant to her majesty, always ready to serve and provide, to implement every wish like a genie, I said.

Oh dear, aunty said, this young love is really quite something huh, such flowery words, she said, what do you have to say to that huh, looking at her daughter, our son-in-law to be seems to love you a lot and speaks such highly about you all the time, he's like a poet singing song and praises about his beauty, you don't have to reply to that with anything?

No maa, she said, he's saying I'm so rude and mean, even the evil sides of the life are afraid of me and won't dare touch our lives. You think your son-in-law is so nice and kind and generous and loving, he's a witty fox, I tell you, playing around with words, buttering up his wife so he can get all the jewels and precious stones she owns so he can steal and run away later, she said, her right hand around my neck, as she ruffled my hair. He's quite the character, your son-in-law, aren't you Mr. Wily Fox?

Ohh heyy, nobody told me about the jewels and precious stones okay, I want that too, that's what I was actually after, you totally saw through me, what to do now, shoot, owh and completely unrelated I forgot the combination to the safe with all the previous materials inside, where was it again and when will you be completely sleep? No reason just curious, for general knowledge, I said.

So much flirting and talking sweet to each other, I've never seen anybody be like that even after two years, hope your strong love and teasing stays on like this after marriage, we are very lucky to have had you to be with her, we were so worried about her because you know she doesn't get along with the men around here, she used to say she will remain unmarried instead of marrying a boy from these parts but you seem to have changed her worldview, you are like the gift we never expected, aunty said, wiping her brow off with a kitchen towel.

Yeahh ma, this gunda tricked me with all his sweet words and all of that, you know how guys are like before getting married, and you see, just after we get married, immediately after I sign these documents and we go in front of the judge, he will completely change his colors and treat me poorly you just see, she said, her left hand around my lower back as I pinned down the documents for her to check and sign with her right hand.

Nooo, aunty sees through this I think, who will change her sweet sweet angelic colors after getting married, I'm but a servant, what colors does the servant have to change but serve the one he's chosen to spend the life with, it's the mistress who can be kind or evil, and this mistress is already hinting at the future here aunty, hmm, should I be afraid about this now I'm wondering.

Okay here's the breakfast you both, go to the dining room take it there and flirt there okay, or maybe do it in your bedroom after getting married, I'm getting to embarrassed for this, young love powerful like this is too potent, save it for the rest of your lives, off you go, off off off!

Maaa who're you calling young haaah, this fool is so old, if he had gotten his shit right, he would be the father of two big fat healthy kids, and they'd even be ready to go to college right now, so old look at his hairs naa, more close in age to dad and you than me I think his age is in reality okay.

Okay okay no talking no flirting no teasing your boyfriend bebe, just go to the breakfast table and eat it quietly okay no more teasing for this morning, later later when you're both by yourself, now go, listen to what your mama has to say.