Shameful letter of complain to a company whose products greatly disappointed somebody

fic, obviously.

How dare you,

You small pathetic company who took all of my thirty dollars and thirty cents for the 'product' of yours and won't even ship to me the right way, I want all my money back, and I want a billion dollars for the shame it could have caused me, the emotional drama and pain that would have happened to me if I had not properly taken care of things. How dare you be so casual and careless with a matter so important to people's lives and dignity, and I'm going to sue you out of existence if my demands are not met, understand? I don't care if you connect me to your lawyers and what not, I'll go to the media and tell them all about your nasty deals and how poorly you treat your customers and the awful customer service. Have you people got no common sense, no mind of yours because I cannot even comprehend how you have survived as a company this far, just so some common sense, alright because it seems to me that even basic knowledge of the human mind is lacking with you nincompoops.

Allow me to explain.

I ordered from your store one of the sex toys, doesn't matter which one, it was the first time I every ordered anything like this, ever, and I was so very afraid, never having done anything like it, no experience nothing like tht so a very nervous situation for me. It took me two months of research to order this one piece of equipment because I wanted my first experience with anybody or anything like that to be my best, so much care I put into this. During the checkout cart phase there was a tick box that said, 'do you want us to send you the packaging in a discreet package so nobody knows of the contents inside the package' and I clicked 'yes' to that obviously because I wouldn't want my roommates to see what i was upto obviously. I was so happy, so eager in the knowledge that there would be exciting things happening in the future and my sexual third eye would be opened thanks to your product.

I constantly kept track of the package, from all the way in Indiana to my apartment, seven days it took me and every moment I knew where the sweet little box was, it was like a piece of my own heart that I tracked at all times. So the day the notification told me it had arrived, I was so excited, my heart was trying to jump out of my own ribcage, it was an insane feeling. Trying to control my emotions and the physical reactions to those emotions, I went down to the mailbox to retrieve the package so I could enjoy the gift to myself, and what do I see?!?

The end of the world!

You had forgotten to send the gift in a discreet package! I mean sure, the box didn't have a particularly objectionable packaging, it just had the name of your company in small letters and parts number and name of the model of the equipment, which gave no direct information about the item inside, but what if somebody else had seen it?! What if my roommates had found it and searched for it? More importantly, how would you have dealt it if it was my parent and grandparents who I was living with, and they saw a strange package mentioned to me, and looked up the company name and model to identify the contents?! It would have been a matter of great shame and embarrassment, I could have killed myself, the horror of it all!

Not that I'm ashamed of my sexuality mind you, I'm proud of all the fun things I do and really I couldn't care less about what others thought of it, but my friends and family and older relatives are not like that and in my community the family is the most important part of one's life. Sure in the west people don't even cry when their parents are dead, instead worrying about stupid things related to their pets or whatever, but in the east, in our culture, things are very very different. We respect our elderly and love our young ones, unlike the shameful individualism of this country.

I called the customer service, they apologized for the mistake, and offered to refund my money, allowing me to keep the item...with me. However, I asked them for more and they said it was not in the company policy and disconnected me. How dare they, how dare you! Do you not know who I am or what I can do? It can be a matter of great invonvenience for you, your entire family and friends, as well as you business if you don't fix it for me. And by fixing it I mean monetary settlement money for the emotional trauma caused to me and my family. I'm waiting for the check, hurry up.

- Your former customer.