At this point I'm killing time, lets not pretend there's anything deep or wild happening here. I didn't write anything on Thursday because my sleep cycle totally and completely fucked me over, Friday was a friday so nothing of note happened, Saturday I really really tried writing and did get a little bit done but the weather was dark and gloomy I napped for many hours and it went by, didn't even leave the house. It's Sunday evening write now, haven't left the house since Wednesday night when I went grocery shopping to Wegmans. Was that it? I don't remember, it's all so vague and confusing, it's fine whatever but alas, no good photos for me to take.
That's becoming the biggest problem of 'staying in the house' things as of late, at least when I went to work I'd take photos of my commute, work, lunch, dinner, things would be moving, dynamic and not by choice. Now, the walks are the only interesting things, and they've gotten tedious and boring too. Even if I go to a new grocery store every day, there's only so much I can write about my trip and the things I buy. There's nothing to take photos of in the dark besides the grocery aisles and the receipts.
It gets boring real fast.
Yeah I could walk a new residential street every day, but then...what? It's just rows and rows, unending rows of the same boring northeast houses, so drab and uninspired, nothing worth nothing. An interesting house here, an interesting house there, that's the end of it.
The walks are interesting not by themselves but because I can use them as an excuse to listen to episodes of the office, for podcasts. The only good route around, the 'nature walk' with a bike path is the worst possible place to walk and I've abandoned it completely because it runs next to the highway so loud I can barely hear my earbuds turned to the max, and they're INSIDE my ear. It's not possible to unwind and relax, ponder upon your existence in that cacophony.
Trips are fun when there's a destination too. Since I'm not going to be doing groceries for the next several weeks owing to the health...situation...ravaging the globe, that's out of question. What to do then? Once upon a time going to cool Cambridge streets was fun and exciting, so rich and well-decorated. I did rounds of those several times, and it's...done, now. Going to restaurants for pickup could be something else to consider, eating everyday from a takeout though...The price I don't mind at all, I'd rather be supporting local restaurants, the principal of it I object to. And the fact that that's not a good sustainable practice for somebody who wants to be good at running a home.
In any case, this evening I'll be heading out for a walk, after one more post. Probably somewhere harvard or porter, take the mass-ave to davis, and walk back home. For the sake of walking, to listen to something, not to explore anything. Not like I'd be able to see anything anymore, considering it was pitch dark by 4.30 this evening.
The darkness, gloom is getting to me, it's hard, it's hard, this is what I've prepared myself for, to keep my spirits high for the several weeks that follow. In January the days get longer, February is cold but ultimately tolerable, March sees the end of winter time and things get normalish. This time of the year, the first week of December to the last is when it's really quite dreadful.
The days will end at 4, 3.30 soon it'll feel like nothing's getting done. Listen to me, body, it's fine, ignore the brightness outside, just keep on. I try to tell, it doesn't always pay attention. Those in the upper latitudes do better I hear, need to learn something from those Swedes and Norwegians.
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