The party only went South from there

Prompt: Visit a thesaurus website or grab a thesaurus from your book shelf if you have one. Search or flip through until you find five preposterously verbose, bombastic, grandiloquent alternatives for everyday words. Using all five terms, write a scene about a character who writes "purple prose" or speaks in overly flowery language. Source.

As you all might now, little Jonny is turning seven today, this blossoming splendiferous offspring of ours, so very precocious, his intelligence has absolutely earned merits from his instructors over at the school. They say his intelligence and physical knoweldge is unparagoned in the school, something they've never seen before. And I don't want to circumlocute around it alright, big words can be confusing for a lot of us, and I'm no sesquipedalian myself, I want to communicate in the clearest and easiest manner, even your Tommy, Robert, and Henry should be able to understand, so allow me to put this right out there: our child is a genius, and it's an honor to have him here.

Now now now, don't you find his personality or being too scintillating, there's no reason to feel about your own progeny surely there's something behind them too, maybe they'll grow up to become a great software engineer, or even do something in finance, and those are something we are proud to have our children do right, and what's a parent to do but fully support their children's growth and well-being. So if little Timmy wants to work for a software company making webpages, all the more power to him, if your everyday Roberta wants to construct a bridge, the only thing to do is to empower her and allow her to make the best gd bridge she can come up with. Sure sure these days it's getting tough, the computers have taken to doing most of the noggin-weary tasks, and most of the jobs mostly involve babysitting the computers, but heyy we wouldn't be here if not for the wonderful babysitters amirite, they are a very very important part of the economy, they allow the rest of us to grow and thrive, to enjoy. Much as Atlas carries the weight of this world on his shoulders, those professionals carry the weight of success upon themselves. And just like that some of our children, many of them even, will carry the load of the success of the computers upon their very broad and strong shoulders.

Hey there now Marta, there's no reason to be so brusque about that, it is quite uncalled for. We are all aware you're quite the winebibber, we remember Athena's party quite well, and yes it was quite insipid and pedestrian as parties go but ohh dearie, didn't you go all-in at that time also, showing your rancorous nature, I remember poor Robert had to calm you down and drive you back i the middle of the party. You were galumphing around, I remember, breaking dear old Athena's grandmother's vase from over two hundred years ago, oh dear what a heartbreak that was. We don't want a repeat of that here tonight do we? Anyway dearie why don't you go for some fourty-winks in the guest bedroom and when you're feeling you've got more of that...je ne se quois... amor-propre, you can join us back in. Oh dear, there's no reason to give me that looks dearie, I'm only being straightforward with you, I've got the guts nobody else in this parlour appears to have. Besides, look at your self, your eyes dear they look like a Juggalo's, it'll make your face quite more palatable, to be forthright with you.

IN any case, apologies for the disturbance everybody, please enjoy yourselves, don't let anything get to you. And let's remember, this is a celebration of our little Jonny and his achievements, but in a way it's also a celebration of all of our progeny and how they've made us proud. I'm so very gratified to have been Jonny's mother, let's all remember and appreciate your children this wonderful night.