What are we to do in the coming holidays and vacation

 The festivals will be low-key this year all things considered. If everybody had been careful with the going abouts, Christmas and New Year's could have been interesting daring adventurous, alas we are not so fortunate. We are trapped in this cycle of disease slowing down, people lowering their guards and the numbers breaking all previous records, over and over and over. It's better than what's happening in Nepal, they've given up completely over there but not much better truth be told. What do we do do now, where do we go for holidays?

My plans are unclear uncertain despite a 2-week break. Brookline is the first option obviously, that's where I've been going for the holidays past. But two weeks...that's a lot for them and even then we're getting bored just the few of us celebrating everything together. The plan was to find vacation rentals in one of the beachside or mountain towns accessible by the train and setup camp for a week or so. The rest of the group is too busy to plan properly and I'm no good at it, can't do it. Catch-22.

Philly is an option certainly. With the ninety bucks of AA credit I'd easily make it to the airport, take a 20-buck taxiride to downtown and chill there for a few weeks. Then what. I don't like the option for a few reasons. First, I don't want to be taking multiple rides to get to and from the airport, and the planes themselves are not great places to be safe from the disease. Then there's the Philly folks who don't maintain the level of disease control that we've been doing here. SL is also a doctor which means the chances of us getting infected increase pretty significantly. They don't even test him regularly like they do grad students in Boston. So we find out only when it's too late, when the tests themselves are not helpful.

The other reason Philly is not currently the top choice is it's too much of a disruption to the timetable setup I've got going. Waking up way way early, working and meditating, starting my workday, writing a bunch, spending limited time on cooking, yadda yadda yadda, all of that's not going to work, won't be able to go to bed early either. I'll be living my everybody else's clock what with the couchcrashing so it's not ideal.

It's for the same reason I've not considered going to to VA. They'd be happy to have me over no doubt and there's going to be more of a personal space than in Philly. Still living for a couple of weeks on somebody else's timetable, at somebody else's workspace is not ideal. The walks would be fun, the conversations vulnerable revealing and intimate, the projects cool and exciting, yes. And holidays are always fun with close friends and family. Still, this seems to be not the absolutely perfect time to do this. It's the same reason I'm not going to my family in VA either.

What remains, then? Staying at the apartment doing nothing while roommate invites his close friends. Not a bad idea entirely. Or perhaps making daytrips out of Brookline, and coming back the next morning, to not overwhelm them but also staying on my schedule. That I like too. They're reasonable ideas.

The other idea I've been toying with is to take a hotel room all by myself for a few days, get room service or takeouts and just pig out, go crazy, live like nothing matters in the world. Abandon my timetable and schedule, tv on for 24/7 and just chill, do nothing think nothing, no worries no responsibilities. Close your eyes and relax, hopefully with a view of the city. Roommate PK and ND went to New York three weeks ago and they had the most amazing views from their hotel room, directly overlooking the city for laughably cheap prices. I'd be down to live in NYC full time almost if that's what I got offered, including the amenities and an NYC-level job. I'd consider it, seriously.

Those are my options. They're all of our options. Bleak times these are yes but things are changing, improving for the better. There's big bright sun behind these clouds, and the sky shall get deep blue again soon we must not forget that. There's hope.

That's all I got, a tonne of options with no clear preferred choice, a sort of listlessness and confusion, boredom with the purgatory of existence.

Hope remains our only friend.